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Post by tmann3x on Jul 24, 2016 22:10:06 GMT -5
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 25, 2016 6:30:51 GMT -5
(audience cheers) We're in the land for Round 2 of Match Game. (Doug pushes button on toaster revealing Round 2 questions) Okay, no score as yet. Since Frank went first in Round 1, Marc, you'll start us off in Round 2. Would you like Question A or Question B?
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Post by marc412 on Jul 25, 2016 7:34:37 GMT -5
B.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 25, 2016 12:46:52 GMT -5
Marc goes for B -- and... ...since we're scoreless, all the stars play both questions this round. Here's the first query of Round 2. Ed said, "I had a fantastic dream last night. I was stranded on a desert island with Megan Fox. Everything was going great until BLANK came along." (audience laughs) (think music plays) |
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 25, 2016 17:01:01 GMT -5
How's the Greg-meister doing over at Philadelphia? |
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Post by jmdarrall on Jul 25, 2016 17:49:19 GMT -5
(I slide my answer in the slot, and write out a second card)
I'm gonna save this for later, in case I actually agreed with you-know-who.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 25, 2016 19:27:55 GMT -5
A second card? Is that even allowed? I'll leave that up to the judge. Marc, they're all set. Question again. Ed said, "I had a fantastic dream last night. I was stranded on a desert island with Megan Fox. Everything was going great until BLANK came along." |
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Post by marc412 on Jul 25, 2016 19:38:34 GMT -5
Her husband?
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 26, 2016 6:45:04 GMT -5
(audience cheers)Doug: Ah ha! That would spoil things for sure. "Her husband" is a great answer. Let's compare answers -- starting with Steven again. Steven: He ruined Megan's career, so they say. And he'd probably ruin Ed's dream too. (ding; audience applause) Doug: Boom. Just like that -- first match in the game. Mr. Trump, dare I ask, do you make Marc's score greater? The Donald: Now, I've seen one or two of the movies she was in, and just so you know, I'm not completely out of touch with pop culture. I mean, why should I? Anyway, everything was fine until.... (buzz)The Donald: He showed up. Or it, or whatever it was. (scattered laughter and applause from the crowd) Doug: Ah, a Transformers reference. I was think Optimus Prime. But, Kevin, Marc's hoping you're thinking of Meg's hubby. Kevin: He's going to get the girl... (buzz) (scattered applause) Doug: Bingo. I matched Kevin. Let's now go down to the lower tier and Tony. Ed said, "I had a fantastic dream last night. I was stranded on a desert island with Megan Fox. Everything was going great until BLANK came along."Tony: When you end up with Megan Fox, every day is a full length feature film. Just one of the three things that could start your 15-minute career-- Megan Fox... (buzz)Tony: ...Michael Bay and a truckload of explosions. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Doug: Oh yeah. If Michael directed this show and we had a mismatch, *boom*. (more laughter from the crowd) Jon? Jon: Trust me, this ruins every dream involving a guy and a hot chick, and for Megan Fox, this is no exception... (ding; audience applause)Doug: Another "hubby", another match for Marc. Bill, please wrap this half of the round for us. Bill: His dream was great until her husband (card) Brian Austin Green showed up! (scattered applause) Doug: Wait -- hold on. (ding; audience applause)Okay, it's a match. At the risk of bringing up something unfortunate, I do recall there were times Brian and Megan broke off their engagement, patched things up, got married, got separated and they've since reconciled. And if I'm not mistaken, she's expecting. So -- may brighter days be ahead for the couple. All right, Marc, halfway toward the perfect score. Frank, you're just looking to score -- and it, obviously, won't be with Megan Fox. (scattered laughter, woahs and applause) That -- didn't come out right. (more laughter from the crowd)
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 26, 2016 7:38:56 GMT -5
(Doug grabs A; walks to panel) Okay, everyone gets to play Frank's question -- and here goes. Some notes on animation: "Dragon Ball" fans know Goku's power level is over 9000. And fans of "The Simpsons" know Barney Gumble's BLANK is over 9000. (audience laughs) (think music plays) |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 27, 2016 12:36:32 GMT -5
(players write) Annd they're all set. Frank, let's see if you can get on the board with this. Some notes on animation: "Dragon Ball" fans know Goku's power level is over 9000. And fans of "The Simpsons" know Barney Gumble's BLANK is over 9000. |
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Post by fdriscoll22 on Jul 27, 2016 13:12:25 GMT -5
his ALCOHOL CONTENT
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 27, 2016 19:44:47 GMT -5
(audience cheers) Doug: Great answer! I must confess, I often joke that a certain former co-worker of mine graduated college with a 4.0 blood alcohol level. He was quite the heavy drinker -- and I gather he still is. No names but his initials are Fred Scott. (audience laughs) Steven, we start again with you. Steven: (Impersonates Barney G. Himself) Hiya Trump. (audience laughs) Whatcha...gonna do.......for the folks who feel disenfranchised by the two party system?  ?? (audience laughs) The Donald: I'll tell you during the break. Steven: It's Over 9 (hiccup) Over 9 (hiccup) Over 9 (hiccup) 9000! (audience laughs) (ding; audience applause) Doug: Judge accepts. Just like that Frank's on the board -- thanks to this generation's Foster Brooks. (a few laughs from the crowd) I'm showing my age again. Mr. Trump? The Donald: I was on this show, and I know for a personal fact that Barney is just a mess. I also got a look at his criminal record and his (card) [B.A.C.] is over 9000. And yet he's still alive! I don't get it. (ding; audience applause) Doug: Same thing boggles my mind about Fred. BTW, "B.A.C." stands for "Blood Alcohol Content". Frank's not minding all this. He's two-for-two this round. Kevin, do you make it three-for-three? Kevin: You know he can't even hold his own liquor with all the Duff he drinks. (ding; audience applause) Doug: Frank's still perfect so far. Now if he runs the rest of the table, we'll kick in $400 more. Some notes on animation: "Dragon Ball" fans know Goku's power level is over 9000. And fans of "The Simpsons" know Barney Gumble's BLANK is over 9000. Doug: Frank said "alcohol level". Do you offer that or something similar? Tony: Pardon me... *reveals card* (buzz) (Tony burps louder) (audience laughs and applauds)Doug: Barney burps so loud, they can hear it well beyond Shelbyville. Jon? Jon: CENSORS, GET READY! Doug: Uh oh! Jon: Oh, (MG '98 "cuckoo" as his mouth gets blurred out)! I actually agreed with something Donald said! Barney DOES have a real drinking problem, so his... Jon: ...is over 9,000. (ding; audience applause) Jon: And that's impossible, isn't it, Doug? Doug: Apparently it is after four matches. Bill, do you make it a near perfect round? Bill: Barney's bar tab is over 9000! (buzz) (audience laughs and applauds)Doug: Talk about being forever in debt. Doug: Four matches for you Frank... Doug: ...three matches for Marc. Good close game going into our final round of Match Game. Find out who's headed to the squares -- after this. Meet us back here in the 216. (theme music plays; audience applause)
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 27, 2016 22:21:03 GMT -5
(variant theme plays)
[We fade in to see Donald Trump.]
Trump: I want to make America great again, and one of the ways that NBC is doing that is the Match Game-Hollywood Squares Hour Telephone Match. You, at home, can win $25,000 in cold, hard cash just by calling this toll-free number. Plus, you'll hear valuable third-party offers.
Shadoe: Are you ready to match the stars? Call....
1-800-555-MATCH
Shadoe: ...to play and win.
Trump: I'm Donald Trump, and I approve this message.
[Disclaimer: This is not an endorsement of Donald Trump's presidential campaign.]
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 27, 2016 23:19:03 GMT -5
(exclusive to On Demand and online viewers) (At the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, Greg Palmer walks out on stage, dressed like a country singer. He's accompanied by a couple of musicians.) Greg: How's everybody doing in Philly? (audience cheers) Well, it is that time again. Time to nominate a new Democrat. I notice that we don't have a packed house. Hmmm, wonder why. Well, it doesn't matter. I'd like to dedicate this #1 ditty to Bill Clinton.[ "She Can Put Her Shoes Under My Bed (Anytime)"Written by: Aaron Schroeder and Bob Halley Performed by: Country Greg and His Merry Men (The Oak Ridge Boys)]
Greg:
She can put shoes under my bed anytime
Matter of fact she can move right into my life and stay
You became President a long time ago
So I'm gonna tell you something I think you should know
Now you don't recognize what's right before your eyes
The best you've ever had you're gonna blow
You've got a girl that loves you,
she could never be untrue
And that's a helluva lot more than I can say for you
If giving her some happiness is messing up your plans
I'll be more than happy to take her off your hands
I mean that she can put her shoes under my bed anytime
Anytime she's ready, mmm, it'll be okay
And she can have the key to my door anytime
And she can move right into my life and stay
(spoken)
Now you don't have to listen, just keep doing what you do
She's only one more tryst away, boy, from walking out on you
(sung)
But if you want to keep her, one thing you better know
Once she gets to walking, she won't have far to go
You know that she can put her shoes under my bed anytime
Anytime that woman's ready, mmm, it's more than okay
And she can have the key to my door anytime
And she can move right into my house and stay
(shouted)
One! More! Time!
She can put her shoes under my bed anytime
Anytime she's ready, well that'll be okay
And she can have the key to my door anytime
And she can move right into my life and stay
(audience boos) Greg: Anybody but Clinton! Anybody but Clinton! Anybody but Clinton!(fade to black) |
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 28, 2016 11:08:06 GMT -5
========================================================================================== *fade to promo* (win cue)(cheers and applause)Steve Anderson: Closed Captioning sponsored in part by the following-- |
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 28, 2016 19:09:13 GMT -5
*back to studio* (cheers and applause)Drew Carey: Welcome back to the show, everybody. Folks... please do not adjust your set because you're not seeing things. I'm Drew Carey and I am here to remind you that Doug will return as soon as he get his connection back after owning a new computer. Don't worry... he's gonna come back. Let's start the final round of Match Game. Frank... since you're in the lead with 400 bucks, which question do you want-- A or B? |
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Post by fdriscoll22 on Jul 28, 2016 19:21:20 GMT -5
Question A, please.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 31, 2016 7:18:56 GMT -5
(Doug walks back on stage) Doug: Hey, everyone. Hello, Drew. Bet you're happy after the Cavs' biggest win ever. Drew: Absolutely. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone in the Cavs organization. And be sure to watch for new episodes of TPiR on another network. Oh yeah, and don't forget to have your pet spayed or neutered. (hosts shake hands) (audience cheers) (Drew leaves stage) (Doug grabs A; walks over to panel) Great to see Drew out here in The Land. Okay, Frank, you're trying to match Tony and Bill. You've matched everyone else. So for Tony, Bill and eventually Frank, here's the question. A patient walked into Dr. Quackenbush's office and said, "Doc, you have to help me! I'm addicted to Twitter!" The perplexed Dr. Quackenbush responded, "Sorry, I don't BLANK."
(think music plays) (audience laughs) |
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Post by billmcdee on Jul 31, 2016 10:11:23 GMT -5
Welcome back Mr. Morris!
(answer submitted)
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 31, 2016 11:28:34 GMT -5
Welcome back, Doug. And thanks to Drew Carey for helping out Doug.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 31, 2016 20:42:19 GMT -5
Okay, as we all thank Drew for his help, Frank, remember, match both of the remaining players and you get a $400 bonus to round up you score to $1000. Question again. A patient walked into Dr. Quackenbush's office and said, "Doc, you have to help me! I'm addicted to Twitter!" The perplexed Dr. Quackenbush responded, "Sorry, I don't BLANK."
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Post by fdriscoll22 on Aug 1, 2016 2:24:22 GMT -5
I don't FOLLOW YOU
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Post by billmcdee on Aug 1, 2016 3:40:12 GMT -5
That is a brilliant answer! LOL
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Post by palmer7 on Aug 1, 2016 10:59:00 GMT -5
That's not what I would've written down, but I like it.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Aug 1, 2016 12:55:47 GMT -5
(audience cheers)Doug: *There's* the answer. If we get two follows, you've got a perfect score. Tony, please oblige the man. Tony: Dr. Quackenbush should do like the famed Danger Mouse's companion Prof. Squawkencluck always do. If you can't beat 'em -- (card ) -- tweet 'em. (buzz) (audience groans) Doug: Ohhh -- you didn't get the play on words. May Bill did. Bill: Well since Dr. Quackenbush got his name from descending from ducks, he is a quack, and tends to quack. Therefore, he was unable to (buzz) (audience groans) Doug: Ugh! A sure fire answer doesn't give you the sweep. Doug: (grabs B) Oh well. Marc, that's good news for you. If you match just one of the remaining stars you've yet to match, you'll clinch a tie. Match two and you win. Match all three and you'll not only win but you'll get the perfect score.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Aug 1, 2016 19:25:54 GMT -5
[NOTE FROM DOUG: The stars have already responded to this question. I thought I posted here as well. My bad. Marc will get extra thinking time to be fair.]
(Doug walks to panel) And let's see who plays... ...Messrs Trump, Kolsen and Lane. The rest -- please be on standby either for a tie-break or Squares. Hey did you hear what happened to Bill the butcher? He backed into the meat grinder and got a little BLANK in his orders."
(think music plays) (audience laughs) (stars write) Okay, Marc, they're all set. Remember, you need at least one match to stay in business. More than one match means victory. More matches the merrier. Hey did you hear what happened to Bill the butcher? He backed into the meat grinder and got a little BLANK in his orders."
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Post by marc412 on Aug 1, 2016 19:29:18 GMT -5
Behind!
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Post by palmer7 on Aug 2, 2016 10:39:45 GMT -5
(audience cheers)Doug: There's the answer! Of course, Frank came up with "the answer" in his half of the round and look what happened. (scattered laughter from the crowd) But let's start comparing answers here -- starting with Mr. Trump. The Donald: Oh, this one is easy. I know the answer. (ding; audience applause)Doug: Boom. There's one. One more behind and you'll come from behind to win. (scattered laughter from the crowd) You know what I mean! Kevin? Kevin: One could mistake it for ketchup. They wouldn't need to cover anything up. (buzz) (audience groans)Doug: Ohhhh -- didn't get the win here. No perfecto -- but if you match Tony, he'll take you to the squares. Tony, it's all on you. Tony: Due to the graphic nature of this answer, viewer discretion is advised. (buzz) (audience groans)Doug: Oh my goodness. I don't believe it. Game ends in a tie.
[NOTE FROM DOUG: Frank and Marc, please watch your inboxes here at NGC. I'll, eventually, PM you the tie-break question and possible answers in text form. The rest of the universe, including the stars, will see the answers in image form when the tie-break's complete.]
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Aug 2, 2016 19:34:56 GMT -5
(Doug presses button on toaster revealing tie-breaker) Doug: Okay, first of all, let me give everyone gathered here the tie-breaker question. STAR BLANK. STAR BLANK. Frank and Marc, out of the sight of the stars, four different answers that can fill in the blank are up here on the toaster. Marc, since you went second in Round 1, you'll pick first in the tie-breaker. Then, Frank, you'll pick from the remaining three answers.  I will then call for the stars' answer one at a time -- starting with Steven going across to Kevin. If necessary, we'll go from Tony to Bill. The moment a star matches your answer, you win $500 and move on to Hollywood Squares.
Marc, please select by number which answer you think will win you the tie-breaker.
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