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Post by fdriscoll22 on Jul 20, 2016 14:32:00 GMT -5
Well, my name is Frank Driscoll. I just turned 18 years old. I will be attending San Francisco State University this fall, where I will study broadcasting, and I hope to one day work for KGO San Francisco when I'm older.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 20, 2016 19:35:12 GMT -5
Oh, the folks at Channel 11 will love us all for that. (scattered laughter from the crowd) They're not going to wish you good luck -- but we will.
We also wish Marc good luck. Marc, please tell us about yourself.
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 21, 2016 8:57:07 GMT -5
Marc... where are you?
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Post by marc412 on Jul 21, 2016 11:36:36 GMT -5
I'm right here.
My name's Marc Enyedy, I'm 34, from Riverside, NJ, and I'm between jobs at the moment. Hopefully I'll win some money here to keep a roof over my head.
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 21, 2016 12:10:18 GMT -5
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 21, 2016 12:13:03 GMT -5
An average politician would say something here, but I'm not.
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Post by asja2002 on Jul 21, 2016 12:48:21 GMT -5
We're here to help!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 21, 2016 12:48:24 GMT -5
Very well. Frank and Marc, again, good luck. Here on Match Game, you'll have three chances to match as many... ...of these would-be apprentices and The Donald as you possibly can. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Every time you match a star, you win $100. Match 'em all and you win another $400. High scorer after three rounds wins the game, another $500 and then goes on to play against our champ. Winner there plays the Super Match for a possible $100,000. (audience cheers)(Doug pushes button on toaster revealing Round 1 questions; light wall displays American flag) Oh -- neat. That happened. Frank, you'll start us off. Would you like Question A or Question B? |
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Post by asja2002 on Jul 21, 2016 13:36:01 GMT -5
Ooh! Pretty
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Post by jmdarrall on Jul 21, 2016 14:44:22 GMT -5
Very nice!
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Post by fdriscoll22 on Jul 21, 2016 14:45:10 GMT -5
Let's try Question A
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 21, 2016 20:22:19 GMT -5
(Doug grabs A; walks to panel) A it is and away we go. New game, everyone on the panel plays this. Unlucky Louie said, "I've been playing Pokémon Go -- and the first pokémon I caught was a Magikarp. He's so worthless, Magikarp won't even BLANK." (audience laughs) (think music plays)Now, as the stars play, it's worth noting this is not Mr. Trump's first game show rodeo. Anyone here remember "Trump Card"? (scattered cheers) Okay -- a few of you. It was a quiz show taped at one of his properties. How many of you remember his guest appearances on "Deal or No Deal"? (more cheers) Yeah, in one episode, he was the guest banker. In the other episode, he helped a contestant close quite a deal. Mr. Trump, how are you enjoying Match Game - Hollywood Squares so far? |
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 21, 2016 23:10:55 GMT -5
I think the show is great. I saw the episode recently where the champ won over $66,000; something over 66-grand. (I, Trump, submit my answer) And as for Trump Card, I think what the producers did was very reprehensible. It was a bait-and-switch tactic, something I would never do. And it's something that I will never do if elected President! (audience cheers, starts chanting "U-S-A") In fact, I'd like to find the contestant who won the tournament and write him or her a personal check for 100-grand. (audience cheers some more)
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 22, 2016 6:38:20 GMT -5
Speaking of writing a big check, Mr. Trump, I recall you helped someone close a $200,000+ deal on DOND. I bet that was fun.
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 22, 2016 10:08:28 GMT -5
Oh, it certainly was. It's always fun giving away money, especially when it's not your own.
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 22, 2016 11:49:20 GMT -5
(audience reacts)
Ouch! That's gotta hurt... eh, Doug?
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 22, 2016 13:15:14 GMT -5
Giving away others' money? Nothing wrong with that. We do it all the time here. Anyhoo, we're set. Frank, question again. Unlucky Louie said, "I've been playing Pokémon Go -- and the first pokémon I caught was a Magikarp. He's so worthless, Magikarp won't even BLANK." |
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Post by fdriscoll22 on Jul 22, 2016 14:07:02 GMT -5
Well, before I get booed I just want to say, I don't know much about Pokémon, so I'm just gonna say FIGHT.
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 22, 2016 18:44:25 GMT -5
Hey, you know probably as much as I do.
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 22, 2016 18:44:48 GMT -5
(to the audience) Don't boo this guy, I know little about Pokemon myself.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 22, 2016 21:15:24 GMT -5
(mixed reactions from the crowd) Doug: Ya know, "fight" isn't that bad an answer. Pokémon are known to battle each other. Let's see if we get any fighters up here -- starting with our announcer for today, Steven. Steven: (impersonating John Cleese) My Magikarp is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. It won't even... (buzz)Steven: ....after I've put 4,000,000 volts through it. (audience laughs)Doug: Magikarp look like fish. So that's a good answer. Mr. Trump? The Donald: Now this.... I assume it's a fish. Yeah. This fish is so worthless, it won't even have the decency to.... (buzz) (audience laughs)Doug: Notice The Donald didn't get in a dig about any of his opponents. (audience laughs) Kevin? Kevin: Well, you know what you get when you have a Magikarp long enough. This one however won't... (buzz) (audience laughs)Doug: Oh that's worthless alright. No fighting yet as we come down to Professor Lane. Unlucky Louie said, "I've been playing Pokémon Go -- and the first pokémon I caught was a Magikarp. He's so worthless, Magikarp won't even..."Doug: ...fight, according to Frank. What according to you? Tony: It's not easy being the very best like no one ever was. That Magikarp was so inferior... Audience: How inferior was it? Tony: (impersonating Gilbert Gottfried) YOU FOOL! (audience laughs)Tony: (normal voice): It was so inferior, it won't even attack with a single... *shows card* (buzz) (audience laughs)Doug: Frank, too bad this isn't The Rhyme Time - Hollywood Squares Hour -- or else you'd be on the board by now. Over to Jon. Jon: Prepare for the first of many disagreements with my "esteemed" colleague above me. Yes, Donald, Magikarp is a fish. If it's worthless, then it couldn't... (card) (buzz) (audience laughs)Doug: At least you agree with Steven. And Bill, wrap this up. Bill: Since Magikarp sounds a lot like Magic Carpet, I said that it wouldn't even... (buzz) (audience laughs)Doug: Funny you mention that. There was a punny meme going around titled "Magikarpet Ride" -- and the maker of the meme put images of Magikarpet over the faces of two characters from "Aladdin" as they were on a magic carpet. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Doug: Well, Frank, Round 1 questions are usually toughies. This one was no different. Marc, your query's coming up. |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 22, 2016 21:27:48 GMT -5
(Doug grabs B; walks to panel) And once again, all the stars get to play. (scans card) Oh dear. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Ohhhhhh dear. I -- must issue a disclaimer. This question was prepared well in advance. It involves two classic Match Game characters Dumb Donald and Dumb Dora. So -- with that disclosed -- here's the question. Ben Gleib said, "Dumb Donald and Dumb Dora failed their audition for 'Idiotest' -- and they failed miserably. I asked them, 'How much is two plus two?' They said, 'BLANK.'" (think music plays) (audience laughs) |
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Post by palmer7 on Jul 22, 2016 21:43:49 GMT -5
(Trump submits his answer) I'm so glad you made that disclaimer, Doug. Although, when I think about it, have you heard some of the jokes about me on that other Match Game? (loyal Trump fans boo, start chanting "Lock Alec up")
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Post by billmcdee on Jul 23, 2016 6:32:16 GMT -5
(submitting my answer with visuals, submitted to both Doug & Tony and hooray I figured out how to send it to both of you at the same time finally!)
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Post by tmann3x on Jul 23, 2016 8:13:30 GMT -5
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Post by jmdarrall on Jul 23, 2016 15:06:38 GMT -5
(I stick my card in the slot)
ME: Hey! I think Alec is doing a darn fine job so far.
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Post by billmcdee on Jul 24, 2016 5:27:01 GMT -5
I've watched it via youtube, it didn't really do much for me. Most of the celebs I didn't even know.
Never been crazy about Alec anyway, but he does a serviceable job of it, I know I could not do better, but I do know Doug Morris could! Can I get a witness!
(loud cheering)
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 24, 2016 7:02:57 GMT -5
Thanks for that, Bill. Okay, Marc, they're all set. Let's see if you can get on the board. Ben Gleib said, "Dumb Donald and Dumb Dora failed their audition for 'Idiotest' -- and they failed miserably. I asked them, 'How much is two plus two?' They said, 'BLANK.'" |
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Post by marc412 on Jul 24, 2016 7:47:57 GMT -5
Five.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Jul 24, 2016 20:32:12 GMT -5
(scattered laughter and applause from the crowd) Doug: Missed by three. (more laughter from the crowd) Just kidding. Well, let's see if we get any fives -- starting with Steven. Steven: I think they'd think, if you put 2 and 2 together, you'd get... (buzz) (scattered laughter) Doug: Ahhh -- clever. Reminds me of a practical joke that was played on Richard Whiteley, may God rest his soul, on "Countdown". All sorts of bizarre incidents happened throughout the game. And in the numbers game, the target number was 623. Instead of doing the math, one player just wrote down the small numbers of 6, 2 and 3. Funny stuff if you ever get to see it. Mr. Trump? The Donald: You know, Doug, I was really smart when I was in the military academy. I mean, really really smart. In fact, I was so smart.... Audience: How smart were you? The Donald: I love these people. I was so smart that sometimes I'd give stupid answers on purpose to get a laugh. Like, "what's two plus two"? (buzz) (scattered laughter) The Donald: I ended up doing a lot of PT. Doug: Well, you matched Steven. Kevin, did you think of 5, 22 or something else? Kevin: They were thinking in the literal sense. If you put 2 and 2 together, they kind of look like a... (buzz) (scattered laughter and applause) Doug: Ahh -- well -- it's a four-letter word, in the defense of the dummies. No matches yes as we visit Tony. Ben Gleib said, "Dumb Donald and Dumb Dora failed their audition for 'Idiotest' -- and they failed miserably. I asked them, 'How much is two plus two?' They said, 'BLANK.'"Doug: And Marc says the dumb duo said "five". Tony: No matter how you add, subtract, or multiply, the Dumb Duo always fail at math. Tony: They believe two is their final answer. (buzz) (scattered laughter and applause) Doug: Ahh -- sounds lazy of them. Jon? Jon: They must have been thinking in twos, because they thought the answer was... (buzz) (scattered laughter and applause) Jon: Apparently, two heads are NOT better than one. Doug: No kidding. We've had two 2's, two 22's, a fish and -- oh dear -- what, from Bill? Bill: As tough as it is being last during the Audience Match game, it's even harder being last during the regular game! Bill: Donald and Dora, take heart, there's this book for sale, $13.95 plus 6 percent sales tax, and the cashier will compute the total for you. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Bill: They asked "Okay, so what's the catch here?" They were so dumb, they thought 2 plus 2 was... (buzz) (scattered laughter and applause) Doug: Nice job on the prop. Doug: But not so good on the score. We're scoreless after one. Come back for Round 2 of Match Game -- after this. (audience applause; MG-HSH music plays) |
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