MATCH GAME/HOLLYWOOD SQUARES HOUR [NBC] - Episode 37

[dougmorrisontheair]

Thien's ready -- as is everyone else. Matt, I'll repeat the question and then call for your answer.

Dumb Dora somehow got passed the "On A Roll" contestant coordinator. Instead of dice, she thought she was going to roll BLANK.

[johnnyb]

Hey, Doug.....I think you meant me, right?

[GameShowNetwork]

Yeah, it's Bergman's question

[johnnyb]

I hope it's a good answer.....Bowling Ball

[billmcdee]

(chuckling)  I like that!

[dougmorrisontheair]

Doug: My mistake, John. I'm still trying to get used to taping Match Game - Hollywood Squares here -- where we also tape On A Roll for another network. So now that my shows are straight, let's play Spin-Off.

(audience laughs and applause)

(buzz)

Eh, go buzz yourself. Mark, get me out of this -- please.

Mark: She thought the show was in a bowling alley, so she rolled a...

(ding; audience applause)

Doug: Hey there! First match of the game goes to John. Bill, did you think of bowling ball or something else?

Bill: Instead of rolling dice, Dumb Dora simply was going to roll...

(buzz) (scattered laughter and applause)

Doug: Or as they say in the south -- play possum. To Nels now.

Nels: For once I’m not gonna pick on Mark...

(buzz) (scattered laughter from crowd)

Doug: Roll herself down the table, eh? She'd probably break the table in the process.

Dumb Dora somehow got passed the "On A Roll" contestant coordinator. Instead of dice, she thought she was going to roll BLANK.

Doug: John said "bowling ball". Tony, what say ye?

Tony: First, Dumb Dora is on a roll. The next thing, she had rolled...

(buzz) (scattered applause)

Doug: Rolling herself again, eh? Steve?

Steve: How do I get this past the censors?.... hmm...

(MG98 censor sfx) (buzz) (audience laughs and applauds)

Tony: Steve... our boss Jennifer would like to have a word with you after the break-- immediately.

Doug: For -- those playing the home game -- Steve made a reference to marijuana -- which clearly doesn't match bowling ball. Let's see what Pham does.

Pham: (card)

(buzz) (scattered laughter)

Doug: Uhhhh -- you misunderstood the question. We had Dumb Dora in mind -- not Donald.

Doug: Pham's new; we'll let it slide. John, you're on the scoreboard with one match and 100 clams.

[dougmorrisontheair]

(grabs A)

Okay, class, try this one.

Gordon Ramsay said, "I instantly ejected Little Rotten Rodney from 'MasterChef Junior'. He had the audacity to make spaghetti and BLANK balls."

(audience laughs and applause)

(think music plays)

(Doug looks at question again)

I get the feeling "MasterChef Junior" and "On A Roll" share the same contestant coordinator.

(more laughs)

[billmcdee]

All that rolling Dora did turned her into a him!

[tmann3x]

We'll... it could have been worse, Bill. Otherwise our director Chris wouldn't have used the Stormy Daniels photo to censor Steve's last answer.

[dougmorrisontheair]

Okay, they're all ready.

Matt, we're really ready for you.

Gordon Ramsay said, "I instantly ejected Little Rotten Rodney from 'MasterChef Junior'. He had the audacity to make spaghetti and BLANK balls."

[mringgenberg]

Matzo?

[billmcdee]

Now I don't feel quite so bad about my answer...especially since, well I don't want to spoil it

[dougmorrisontheair]

(as audience boos)

Doug: If Scattergories taped in this building, I'd send you their way.

(scattered laughter from crowd)

Doug: Because the idea there is to *not* match stars. I don't think you'll match stars here. Let's start with Mark for the sake of formalities.

Mark: I could see a cat liking this.

(buzz) (scattered laughter and applause)

Doug: Ahhh -- definitely not appetizing to Gordon and everyone else. Bill, your FCC-friendly answer, please.

Bill: Since I don't want to get us thrown off the air, I came up with an acceptable rotten answer.

And it is as rotten as Rodney is. People who ate this said they experienced a feeling of butterflies in their stomach because instead of meatballs, he used...

(buzz) (scattered laughter and applause)

Doug: Not that bad an answer, really. In fact, that's a good one as we go to Nels.

Nels: Sorry, Mark...

(buzz)

Tony: Nels, one more of Mark's answer, I'm gonna put you in a penalty box.

Doug: Co-host means business. I'll repeat the question for the heck of it.

Gordon Ramsay said, "I instantly ejected Little Rotten Rodney from 'MasterChef Junior'. He had the audacity to make spaghetti and BLANK balls."

Doug: Matt said "matzo". What did you think of, Tony?

Tony: (coughs and shows card)

(buzz) (scattered laughter and applause)

Doug: Hair seems to be *the* answer so far. Steve, did you think of "hair" or something else?

Steve: I get coughing fits thinking about it.

(buzz) (scattered applause)

Doug: *More* hair. And Pham?

Pham: (card)

(buzz)

Doug: Even more hair. Would've gotten at least $400 with that -- and maybe another $100 after a little debate with the judge on Nels' answer.

Doug: John leads $100 to nil. Anything can happen in the final round of Match Game. See who goes on to Hollywood Squares -- after these messages for America.

(audience applause; MG-HSH music plays)

[tmann3x]

======================================================================


*fade to promo*



(win cue)

(cheers and applause)

SHADOE STEVENS: Closed Captioning sponsored today by the following--

[dougmorrisontheair]

(audience cheers)

We're back. Let's start Round 3.

(Doug pushes button on toaster revealing Round 3 questions)



John, you're leading one match to nil. You get the pick of A or B.

[johnnyb]

Sorry.....A please.

[dougmorrisontheair]

(grabs A)

No worries. As John goes with A. Mark, you'll sit this out since you matched John earlier. For everyone else, here's the question.

Carl the kookie criminal is *so* kookie.

HOW KOOKIE IS HE?!?!!?

Yesterday, instead of The First National Bank, he tried to rob a BLANK bank.

(audience laughs and applause)

(think music plays)

[tmann3x]

Still waiting on Nels's response...

[nelson17]

It’s already in

[dougmorrisontheair]

Okay, John, chance to pad your lead with this question.

Carl the kookie criminal is *so* kookie. Yesterday, instead of The First National Bank, he tried to rob a BLANK bank.

[johnnyb]

The only one I can think of is a BLOOD bank.

[dougmorrisontheair]

(audience cheers)

Doug: Great answer. Any bank not associated with money is a great answer. Bill, John's out for blood. What do you offer?

Bill: Has to be a (card) sperm bank.

(buzz) (scattered cheers)

Doug: That would be another great answer. Nels, do you donate blood?

Nels: The only logical answer is...

(ding; audience applause)

Doug: There's another match for John. Tony, did the kookie criminal rob the blood bank?

Tony: If Carl was a vampire... (card)

(ding; audience applause)

Doug: There's 300 for John. Steve do you make it four?

Steve: There's two good answers here.... but I'm in trouble enough with Jen as it is.

Nels: I wonder why Steve hint hint.

(ding; audience applause)

Doug: Jen thanks you for the good answer -- as does John. Pham, more blood?

Pham: (card)

(buzz) (scattered groans and laughs)

Doug: USA?!?!? Well -- crazy answers have been known to come from that corner of the panel.

Doug: John, you got $400 at least. Matt, you'll have the services of all six stars since you've got a bagel on the scoreboard. You'll need to match four stars to tie, five for the win, six for the perfect score bonus *and* victory.

[dougmorrisontheair]

(grabs B)

And all six stars wrap up regulation Match Game with this question -- which is -- timely in more ways than one.

Bob Swerski said, "Last night, I dreamed Dennis Rodman was a Hollywood Squares contestant. Much like a basketball player, he was good at BLANKING his opponent."

(audience laughs and applause)

(think music plays)

[tmann3x]

Vincent, Bingel, and Kevin... be on standby for "The Hollywood Squares".

[Deleted]

Ready.

[redrangerdude]

I'm ready too

[billmcdee]

I'm ready three...

[mrb2000]

Ready to go

[dougmorrisontheair]

All right, Matt. They're all set. Remember, you'll need at least four to stay in business.

Bob Swerski said, "Last night, I dreamed Dennis Rodman was a Hollywood Squares contestant. Much like a basketball player, he was good at BLANKING his opponent."

[mringgenberg]

Blocking