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Post by jmdarrall on May 19, 2016 18:01:53 GMT -5
(All three go for the buzzers...BONG! [17] Marc's light shines)
ME: Marc?
MARC: She's being a ding-dong.
ME: Of course she is! Par for the course, really. (Steve plays a fanfare as the crowd cheers). You're now at 85 points, and....what the devil are you guys doing?
(I see Colin reaching for his wallet and handing out a $10 bill each to Kari and Steve)
KARI: We took bets on these questions when the writers shared them with us backstage. I knew it wasn't going to work.
STEVE: Yeah. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Easy ten for me, eh, Col?
COLIN: Yeah, yeah...I seriously thought it would work! Can I at least get an explanation?
ME: Sure! According to my card, the force of the magnet pulling on the car counteracts the force of the car pulling on the magnet. Since the magnet is basically attached to the car through Kim, the forces cancel each other out and Kim is stuck, waiting for the tow truck! Marc knew that, and you're up to 85 points. Would you like to stick with this channel, or switch?
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Post by marc412 on May 19, 2016 22:01:41 GMT -5
Stay with it.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 19, 2016 23:01:49 GMT -5
ME: Here we go for 20 points...
When it comes to Kris Jenner's morning coffee, Kris's kitchen staff knows two things: one, she takes cream in the coffee; two, if the coffee is too hot or too cold, you'd better run! Knowing this, and knowing that Kris always takes a few bites of breakfast before taking her first sip of coffee, when should the kitchen staff add the cream to ensure that the coffee is at the right temperature when Kris is ready to drink? Is it...right away, right before Kris takes her first sip, or whenever the h*ll they want?
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Post by jmdarrall on May 21, 2016 11:07:04 GMT -5
(All three go for it...BONG! [91] Marc's light shines)
ME: Marc again!
MARC: Right away?
ME: Didn't seem too sure....he's right! (Steve plays a fanfare as Marc breathes a sigh of relief) You're up to 105, and how did the betting go?
(Colin and Steve are smiling, making the "pay up" gesture to Kari)
KARI: The guys thought it was "right away." I thought it made no difference (she pays each of them a $10 bill). Now I'm down $10.
COLIN: So am I.
STEVE: I'm up $20, yeah! I suppose an explanation is in order, right?
COLIN: Yeah, I thought it had something to do with the cream slowing down the cooling.
ME: Actually, Colin's on the right track! According to Newton's Law of Cooling, the hotter a body is - relative to its surroundings - the greater the rate of cooling. Ergo, adding the cream right away reduces the rate of cooling, and the coffee will be warm enough a few minutes later when Kris is ready to drink it. Marc knew that, he's leading by 100 points! Matt, Sam, come on! Marc, you have control. You know what to do...
(Marc picks up his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 21, 2016 12:52:36 GMT -5
Close it out.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 21, 2016 18:13:16 GMT -5
ME: Closing out for 30 points...
COLIN: We went double on this one!
ME: Oh, my...here goes...
While hanging out at L.A.'s trendiest nightspot, loving sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner get into a tiff about their boyfriends. Not content to keep their fight in the V.I.P. Room, they head out to the circular dance floor, which is slowly rotating counterclockwise, and stand at opposite ends of its diameter, rotating with the floor. Kylie says something to p*ss Kendall off, causing Kendall to chuck her drink, glass and all, toward her sister. From Kylie's perspective, will the drink...sail to her left, sail to her right, or smash in her face and force an emergency nose job?
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Post by jmdarrall on May 22, 2016 13:48:35 GMT -5
(All three quickly go for the buzzers...BONG! [54] Sam's light shines)
ME: Sam!
SAM: Sail to her left.
ME: He finally got one! (Crowd cheers as Sam celebrates and Steve plays the fanfare) Indeed, the drink will fly to Kylie's left. By the time the drink reaches the other side of the rotating floor, Kylie will [from her perspective] move to the right of where the drink was thrown, so it will pass to Kylie's left. Sam knew it. Who won the bet?
STEVE (Raising his hand): Me!
ME: Kari? Colin?
KARI AND COLIN: We thought she was gonna get nailed.
ME: Oh, I think we all kinda hoped that was the case, but it wasn't. What's the money tally?
KARI: Down $30.
COLIN: Ditto.
STEVE: I cleaned up! $60, baby!
ME: And where's my vig? C'mon, you gotta pay the house its share. Kidding, kidding! Anyway, scores have Marc at 105, Sam at 30, and Matt at 5. Sam, you have control of the remote. Let's pick another channel, please. Everything but 9 is available.
(Sam picks up his remote and...)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 13:51:27 GMT -5
Lucky number 7! (Presses 7)
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Post by jmdarrall on May 22, 2016 14:04:13 GMT -5
(Sam presses button 7) ME: Let's hope Channel Seven is lucky with...  ME: ..."HOME IMPROVEMENT"! (Crowd applauds as Steve plays a few bars of that show's theme, then uses his soundboard to play the Tim Allen grunt) How well do you remember one of the most popular sitcoms of the '90s? We'll find out as we ask you about the show that made Tim Allen a household name. Ready? For 10 points... Give EITHER the first name or the last name of Tim Taylor's eccentric next-door neighbor whose quirks included never showing his full face, quoting obscure philosophers, and engaging in hobbies like uvulating and horseshoe pitching. |
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Post by jmdarrall on May 23, 2016 10:53:52 GMT -5
(All three go...BONG! [83, tie, but Marc was first] Marc's light shines)
ME: Marc!
MARC: Wilson.
ME: That's the name! (Steve plays a fanfare as the crowd cheers) You've expanded your lead to 115. Turns out that Wilson was BOTH the first AND the last name of the neighbor played by the late character actor Earl Hindman. Marc, you have control. Are you sticking, or switching?
(Marc takes his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 23, 2016 11:43:53 GMT -5
Stick with it.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 23, 2016 12:48:04 GMT -5
ME: Going on for 20 points...
In the show's final season, a popular character was written out of the show, with the explanation that he went on an ecological trip to Costa Rica. In reality, the actor playing the character was going off to college. Name the character.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 24, 2016 18:25:24 GMT -5
Waiting on Marc's response.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 25, 2016 15:12:44 GMT -5
(Nobody moves...)
ME: Anyone?
(DD BUZZ-BUZZ! Audience groans)
ME: Time's up. The answer was RANDY TAYLOR, played by Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Scores stay where they are, as does control. Marc, what's your move now?
(Marc takes his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 25, 2016 15:29:21 GMT -5
OK, close it out.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 25, 2016 20:47:53 GMT -5
ME: All right. Sticking with it...for 30 points...
ME: On the show's aired pilot episode, this household appliance becomes the first victim of Tim's many attempts to give his house...what, audience? (Cut to crowd)
CROWD: MORE POWER!
(Cut back to me ) ME: Darn right, "more power"! In any event, this appliance was also used in a later episode in Tim's pathetic attempts to poach fish. Name that appliance.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 27, 2016 9:13:15 GMT -5
(BONG! [63] Marc's light shines)
ME: Marc?
MARC: The dishwasher?
ME: If that was a guess....audience?
AUDIENCE: IT WAS A GOOD ONE!
ME: You got it! (Crowd cheers as Steve plays the fanfare and Marc breathes a sigh of relief) Poaching fish in the dishwasher, a combination of steam, heat, and water...makes sense, but I wouldn't want to try it. Marc, you're at 145 and, guess what? You've got control! Pick another channel, please, as 7 and 9 are now closed.
(Marc picks up his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 27, 2016 9:26:35 GMT -5
Go to Channel 8.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 27, 2016 18:03:51 GMT -5
(Marc presses 8 on his remote) ME: Behind Channel Eight...  ME: ...AUTO-CORRECT THIS! (Audience laughs and claps) Have you ever had your computer or mobile device's Auto-Correct function kick in at the worst times, like when you're trying to search for people's names? COLIN: Yeah, we have! KARI: All the time! STEVE: Want us to tell you about those times? ME: Indeed we would! Players, each of my three trusty sidekicks will tell you about a time when their Auto-Correct features got overzealous. You tell me the name of the celebrity that they were trying to search for. For 10 points, who's up first? (Colin raises his hand) Take it away, Colin! COLIN: Even though I'm a New Yorker, born and bred, I haven't been much for the Broadway scene...until I found out that this beloved Broadway broad "played for both teams" and mooned a large group of people in the movie "Rent"! Thinking that Princess Elsa had a dirty side, I decided to find out more and search on the ol' computer. However, my Auto-Correct must have thought that I was looking for an expert in cake decorating. I swear, the name corrected to "Icing Mensch"! (Audience laughs) After a while, I decided to just let it go.
ME: Which actress/singer was Colin trying to search for when his Auto-Correct read "Icing Mensch"? |
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Post by jmdarrall on May 29, 2016 17:59:40 GMT -5
(All three go for the buzzers...BONG! [44] Sam's light shines)
ME: Sam?
SAM: Idina Menzel...I think.
ME: You think right! (Steve plays a fanfare as Sam and the crowd celebrate another right answer) Very good. Indeed, Colin was describing Idina Menzel. It's probably best that we don't tell any kids we meet that the voice of their beloved princess showed her tuchus on the silver screen, yeah? (Audience laughs) Marc at 145, Sam at 40, Matt at 5. Sam, you've got control. Where to, buddy?
(Sam picks up his remote and...)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2016 18:27:47 GMT -5
Continue with Auto Correct This
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Post by palmer7 on May 29, 2016 23:02:08 GMT -5
Um, Jon..... one moment please. Jon, and Colin..... Elsa is actually a queen.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 30, 2016 10:37:32 GMT -5
ME: I thought so! I never saw "Frozen," though. However, it can be argued that Elsa had to be a princess before she was a queen, no?
COLIN: I don't think really matters, does it?
ME: I dunno, but it's a good observation, nonetheless. One of our writers is gonna get a pay dock, for sure. We'll continue with Sam and more Auto-Correct This! Who's next to share his or her tales of "Auto-Correct woe"?
(Kari raises her hand)
ME: For 20 points, take it away, Ms. Wuhrer!
KARI: OK, so I have this friend who is part Pakistani. She wanted to know about some men of the same nationality who are well-known. I happened to know of one...a singer who is Pakistani-British. Only problem was, went I sent my friend the singer's name in a text message, she must have thought I was looking for humorous ways to be evil to people. She received the phrase "Zany Malice" in her phone! (Audience laughs) Great, way to take my friendship from one direction to another.
ME: Contestants, what singer was Kari trying to type when that stupid Auto-Correct sent her friend the phrase "Zany Malice"? Oh, yeah, we need BOTH first and last name, please.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 31, 2016 10:16:13 GMT -5
(BONG! [96] Sam's light shines)
ME: Sam again.
SAM: Zayn Malik.
ME: Right! (Sam applauds with the crowd as Steve plays the fanfare) Watch out, Marc, he's gunning for you! Sam, you have 60 points now. Matt, come on, you've got to play catch-up! Our guest from Britain has control. Sam, you're down by 85 points. Where are we going now?
(Sam takes his remote and...)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2016 10:42:58 GMT -5
Close it out!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 31, 2016 15:15:17 GMT -5
ME: Close it out, we will. I assume that you are up now, Steve?
STEVE: Yes, I am.
ME: For 30 points, then...take it away, Steve!
STEVE: So I heard a rumor that an African-American actress on "American Horror Story" and "Empire" is not the only talented member of her family. Turns out, her mother, a gospel/R&B singer, appeared on "America's Got Talent" in 2010! However, I had a devil of a time trying to find her name. Apparently, my computer thought I was looking to resurface the walls near the roof of my house, as that silly Auto-Correct thought I was searching for "Gables Siding"! (Audience laughs) Once I saw that, I asked myself, "Well, isn't that precious?"
ME: Players, what Oscar-nominated actress's name came up as "Gables Siding" in Steve's search?
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Post by jmdarrall on Jun 1, 2016 9:43:02 GMT -5
(Takes a little while...BONG! [9] Marc's light shines)
ME: Marc?
MARC: Gabourey Sidibe?
ME: Yes, that's right! (Marc breathes a sigh of relief as Steve plays the fanfare) Tough question, too. Marc, you're leading with a total of 175, Sam at 60, Matt at 5. Guess who has control? Marc, let's pick another channel, please. Anything from 1 to 6 is available.
(Marc takes his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on Jun 1, 2016 11:12:50 GMT -5
Six, please.
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Post by jmdarrall on Jun 1, 2016 15:56:39 GMT -5
(Marc presses button 6 on his remote...) ME: And for Channel Six...  ME: ...THE ELVIS CHANNEL! (Audience cheers as Steve plays a 12-bar blues melody; Colin does a little Elvis dance) All right, you hunka-hunkas burnin' love, time to test your knowledge of the King! The first true rock-and-roll superstar! The man whom, without him, MTV may not even have been thought of! So, you see, we owe a great debt of gratitude to Elvis Presley! Got it? AUDIENCE: Got it! ME: Good. Here we go for 10... To Elvis, who were Gladys and Vernon? |
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Post by jmdarrall on Jun 1, 2016 22:02:08 GMT -5
(BONG! Marc's light shines)
ME: Marc?
MARC: His parents.
ME: Correct! (Steve plays the fanfare as the crowd applauds) You've expanded your lead, Marc. 185 is your total, and you have control. Pick again.
(Marc takes his remote and...)
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