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Post by marc412 on May 9, 2016 14:37:52 GMT -5
Stay on channel 2.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 9, 2016 17:03:27 GMT -5
(Crowd yells YEAHHHHHH!)
ME: Crowd approves. OK, Greg, you ready for another shot?
GREG: Yes.
ME: Players, for 10 points...
Sing the next SIX words of this hit by John Mellencamp.
STEVE (counting quicker): Two, three, four!
(He uses his soundboard to play a drum beat, then plays a riff on his guitar. After a few seconds, Greg starts singing.)
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Post by palmer7 on May 9, 2016 17:07:36 GMT -5
Greg: (singing)
Don't have to be so exciting
Just tryin' to give myself
A little bit of fun, yeah
You always look so invitin'
You ain't as green as you are young
Hey baby, it's you
(I end it)
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Post by palmer7 on May 9, 2016 17:25:15 GMT -5
Greg: (still singing)
Come on girl now it's you
Sink your teeth right through my bones, baby
Let's see what we can do
Come on and make it a
Hurt so good
Come on baby make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don't feel like it should...
(now I stop)
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Post by jmdarrall on May 9, 2016 17:30:18 GMT -5
(You may now ring in, players.)
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Post by jmdarrall on May 10, 2016 17:59:24 GMT -5
(Only Marc rings in...BONG! His light shines, and I point to him.)
MARC (Singing): "You make it...hurt so good!"
ME: Right for 10! (Steve plays another fanfare). Now, due to Steve and Greg misinterpreting each other's signals, we won't judge this performance, will we?
STEVE: That sounds fair.
ME: Great! Marc, you have 20 points now. Want to close out this channel, or go elsewhere?
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Post by marc412 on May 10, 2016 21:30:48 GMT -5
Finish it off.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 11, 2016 7:55:48 GMT -5
ME: Closing out the channel. For 15 points, gentlemen...
Sing the next FIVE words to this Vertical Horizon hit.
STEVE: Two, three, four!
(Steve plays a guitar melody while a backing track plays from his keyboard...)
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Post by palmer7 on May 11, 2016 9:03:54 GMT -5
Greg: (singing)
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
(I stop)
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Post by jmdarrall on May 11, 2016 14:12:27 GMT -5
(Once again, only Marc goes for it...BONG! His light shines, and I point to him.)
MARC (Singing): "...and you don't know why."
ME: Swept the channel! (Crowd cheers as Steve plays a fanfare) That puts you out in front with 35. Matt and Sam, he's dangerous with the music questions, so be careful. Still plenty of game, though. Before we go on, let's go to Kari for judging. Kari, what did you think of Greg's performance?
KARI: I actually thought that that was a good song choice, and your singing was on target! I'm going to put you through! (She gives a thumbs-up as the crowd cheers)
ME: In fact, I think we might make him our new "Sing Along Consultant"! From this point forward, Greg, we'd like to invite you to select the songs AND the singer or singers. So, for you loyal viewers, you might see Greg singing solo, with any of my sidekicks, or he may have me singing! You never know. What do you think about that, Greg? Would you like to be my "Sing Along Consultant"?
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Post by palmer7 on May 11, 2016 15:08:36 GMT -5
Sure, that sounds good. I'd be happy to accept.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 11, 2016 17:05:12 GMT -5
(I shake Greg's hand as the crowd cheers)
ME: Ladies and gentlemen, Greg Palmer! Greg, you may be seated at the bar, but it's getting kinda crowded. Marc, back to you! Let's pick another channel. Channels 2 and 9 are closed.
(Marc picks up his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 11, 2016 17:20:39 GMT -5
3, please
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Post by jmdarrall on May 11, 2016 21:38:55 GMT -5
ME: Behind Channel Three...  ME: ...is BABES AND ASSASSINS! (Male audience members hoot and holler as Steve plays a few notes of "Killer Queen") What happens when you combine hot chicks with cold-blooded killers? A "Remote Control" classic! Here's how it works. All questions are two-part questions. I'll describe two famous people or characters; the first of whom will be a babe, while the second one will be an assassin or killer. To get full points, you must name BOTH, starting with the babe. Ready? Let's try one for 5 points... She's the superheroine played by Melissa Beloist on TV, and he's the Presidential assassin whose last name sounds like where the heroine (or her male counterpart) might go to get into costume. Name the superheroine, then name the assassin. |
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Post by jmdarrall on May 12, 2016 16:02:54 GMT -5
(BONG! [24] Matt's light shines)
ME: Matt?
MATT: Supergirl and John Wilkes Booth.
ME: Hey, he's on the board! (Crowd applauds and cheers as Steve plays the fanfare) Matt, you're now in second with 5, trailing Marc by 30. C'mon, Sam, you've gotta get in there! Can't win with 0. In any event, Matt, you now have control. Would you like to stick with this channel, or switch?
(Matt picks up his remote and...)
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Post by mringgenberg on May 12, 2016 16:44:27 GMT -5
Stick with this channel.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 12, 2016 17:39:35 GMT -5
ME: Sticking with Babes and Assassins. For 10 points...
She was formerly known as "The Hollywood Madam," and he's the serial killer who would've offed the Madam's employees had they lived in 19th Century London. Name the madam, then name the killer.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 13, 2016 8:49:44 GMT -5
(BONG! [85] Sam's light shines)
ME: Sam?
SAM: Oh, dear...pass...and Jack the Ripper is the killer?
(DD BUZZ! Steve plays a downward scale as audience groans). Can't give you partial credit. You must give BOTH answers. Anyone else? (BONG! Marc's light shines). Yes, Marc?
MARC: Heidi Fleiss and Jack the Ripper.
ME: That's who we needed! (Steve plays a fanfare as the crowd cheers). You're running away with this with 45 points. Are we sticking, or switching?
(Marc picks up his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 13, 2016 9:50:10 GMT -5
Close it out.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 13, 2016 12:34:04 GMT -5
ME: Closing out Channel Three. For 15 points...
She's the ex-wife of Steven Seagal who starred in "The Woman In Red," and he's the FBI Public Enemy Number One whose demise involved "The Lady In Red." Name the actress, then name the criminal.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 14, 2016 11:06:05 GMT -5
(No one moves...DD BUZZ-BUZZ! Audience groans.)
ME: Tough one. The actress was KELLY LE BROCK, and the criminal was JOHN DILLINGER. Gotta earn those 15 points. Well, Marc, we're back to you. The channel is closed, so we'll need to go elsewhere. Channels 2, 3, and 9 are closed, but you may go to any other open channel.
(Marc takes his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 14, 2016 15:29:54 GMT -5
Go to Channel 4.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 15, 2016 20:20:44 GMT -5
ME: Channel Four has...  ME: ...KIDDIE TV! (Crowd applauds as Steve plays a few bars of the theme from "Sesame Street") Yes, remember when you were kids and Mom told you not to watch too much TV? Now, you can prove that all that time in front of the TV as a kid was worthwhile! These questions are about children's TV shows, past and present. For 5 points... On "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," King Friday wasn't the first king of the Neighborhood of Make-Believe, but as far as we know, he was the last. What number followed King Friday's name?(For this question, since your answer will be a number, please be sure to specify which number is your code and which number is your answer) |
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Post by jmdarrall on May 16, 2016 12:05:38 GMT -5
(BONG! [66] Sam's light shines)
ME: Sam?
SAM: Five.
ME: Incorrect. (DD BUZZ! Crowd groans as Steve plays a downward scale) Anyone else? (BONG! Marc's light shines) Marc?
MARC: The 13th.
ME: Correct! (Crowd cheers as Steve plays a fanfare and Marc gives me a "bring it on" gesture) You're leading in a big way, 65 points! Control is yours: stick or switch?
(Marc picks up his remote and...)
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Post by marc412 on May 16, 2016 13:03:31 GMT -5
Stay on 4.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 16, 2016 21:03:31 GMT -5
ME: For 10 points...
Spoiler alert! The answer to this next question is NOT "Moose Cr*p"! (Audience laughs). On "Captain Kangaroo," what round, lightweight objects did that scumbag Mr. Moose enjoy dropping on the host?
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Post by jmdarrall on May 17, 2016 20:54:36 GMT -5
(BONG! [1] Marc's light shines) ME: Tell 'em, Marc! MARC: Ping-Pong Balls. ME: That's right! (Steve plays a fanfare as the crowd cheers) Is there anything this guy doesn't know? Seriously, it's like... (Cowboy triangle chimes as the SNACK BREAK animation comes on the TV) WESTERN VOICE: COMMMMMMME N' GIT IT! ME: Oh-ho! Marc, bet ya didn't see that coming, huh? That means it's the end of Round One and time for a Snack Break! Today, we need to blunt criticism that we promote the overconsumption of junk food, so with that in mind....hold up your bowls, fellas! (All three contestants hold up their bowls as carrot chips and celery sticks rain down. I come in as the last of the veggies come down and gather some for Greg and Doug. Meanwhile, the players start throwing the vegetables at each other as Steve plays along with the theme.) ME: As we check in on the scores, we can see that Marc is dominating! MARC: 75 points
MATT: 5 points
SAM: 0 pointsME: However, in Round Two, we offer more questions and more points, so Matt or Sam can get right back in the thick of this. The player who outlasts, outplays, and outwits the others will go on to win this great swag!  COLIN: Travel the world with a collection of ten CDs from Putumayo World Music. Extraordinary songs and artists from East Asia, the Middle East, Africa, Western Europe, Latin America, the Caribbean, and the good old U.S.A. are guaranteed to make you feel good! KARI: From Park and Sun, you'll receive a Spectrum Pro outdoor volleyball set. Includes webbing boundary, pull-down guylines, telescoping poles to adjust to 3 playing heights, inflatable ball, and a handy carrying bag. Enjoy the fun with Park and Sun! COLIN: March to the beat of your own drum with this digital drum kit! The Yamaha DD-65 portable digital drum kit features 8 touch-sensitive panels, two pedals, and auxiliary unit for playing along with your own MP3 player! Get started right away with 100 built-in songs, tempo control, and hand percussion mode. From Yamaha! KARI: From Nintendo, you and your family can race up, down, and all around, or fight the messiest battle of all time. This Nintendo Wii U package includes "Mario Kart 8" and "Splatoon" games. Challenge friends and family members to these best-sellers or 3 other games of your choice. KARI: Had fun with Round One? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet! Round Two coming... KARI AND COLIN: WHEN "REMOTE CONTROL" CONTINUES! KARI: Woo-hoo! |
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Post by jmdarrall on May 18, 2016 11:06:11 GMT -5
(Theme restarts as the camera pans across the contestants)
COLIN: Welcome back to the game show that is truly an underground hit..."Remote Control"! Let's rejoin the action with Jon Darrall!
ME: Thanks, Colin! Welcome back, everyone! As you can see, Marc is trouncing the competition right now, but we've gotta play two rounds, so I figured we'd reload the TV with nine new channels, double the points values, and...oh, yes...double the danger!
(Steve plays a suspenseful chord on his keyboard)
ME: Tell these fine gentlemen what's going to happen to the lowest scorer at the end of this round, Colin.
COLIN: Yeah, when that TV goes "Off the Air," the lowest-scoring dude here gets yanked. That means you're goin' through the wall, baby! Heh-heh.
(Crowd laughs)
ME: And, on that rather pleasant note...Marc, you had the last right answer, so you may make the first selection. Fire when ready.
(Marc picks up his remote and....)
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Post by marc412 on May 18, 2016 11:19:41 GMT -5
Channel 9, please.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 18, 2016 21:09:21 GMT -5
ME: OK, starting off Round Two with...  ME: ...KARDASHIAN PHYSICS! (Audience laughs as Steve plays the theme from "Keeping Up with the Kardashians") Let me see, any Kardashian fans here today? AUDIENCE: BOOOOOOOOOOO! (Colin stands and does some thumbs-down gestures, Steve plays along) ME: Whoa! Don't worry, I don't like the Kardashians, either. In this channel, we teach physics and goof on the Kardashians at the same time. We'll present a physics thought problem, and your job is to just guess the answer. Since it might have been a while since you took physics, we'll assist you by making each question in this channel multiple choice. Got all that? I hope so. Here we go for 10 points... ME: Uh-oh, Kim has taken her fancy-pants convertible for a drive down the L.A. Freeway, but the dolt forgot to put gas in the car, and it conks out on the 405! Realizing she can't call Kanye because he's making some dopey tirade about Taylor Swift, Kim looks in the trunk of her car, where she finds a large magnet and a fishing pole. She has an epiphany! (I gesture for Kari to come over and read Kim's part)
KARI (in her best Kim K. voice): "Oh, my God! If I, like, stand in the front seat and use the fishing pole to, like, dangle the magnet in front of the car, it will totally go!"
ME: My question to you: is she right, or is she just being a ding-dong? |
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