THE 2016 NET GAME AWARDS [CBS]: Special

[GameShowNetwork]

All right folks, this is the moment you've been waiting for. At long last, it is time to begin the 2016 Net Game Awards. Without further ado, let's get right to it.






[MAIN THEME]

Mark Liotta: Tonight, from New York City, it's....





With appearances by:



Greg Palmer

Jon Darrall

Tony Lane

Kevin Kolsen

Matt Riggenberg


Doug Morris



And many more. Tonight's musical guests include.....




ADELE


WALK THE MOON


DRAKE


CHICAGO FEATURING PETER CETERA





Now, from Radio City Music Hall in New York City, please welcome your master of ceremonies for this evening, Doug Morris! (audience applauds as Doug makes his way to the stage)

[billmcdee]

(standing and applauding)

[mringgenberg]

(applause)

[Bill Skinner]

(cheering from back row)

[Deleted]

(applauses)

[Billy Gardell]

(Applauses)

[palmer7]

(the $ale crew and I give Doug a standing ovation)

[dougmorrisontheair]

Thank you very much. Helloooooo -- everybody and welcome to the 2016 Net Game Awards. Are we ready to celebrate tonight?

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah, baby!

[palmer7]

Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hooo!

[mringgenberg]

Yes!!

[dougmorrisontheair]

I must tell you it's an honor to be with you hosting this year's ceremony. I've been hosting net games since 1998.

(audience cheers)

Yeah, when I was a child, I learned my ABC's the old fashioned away. A lot of *you* were learning your home keys and *then* your ABC's.

(scattered laughter from the crowd)

But really -- to give you an idea of what life was like back when I started hosting in 1998, Gregg Popovich was head coach of the San Antonio Spurs -- and Brian Williams was anchoring at MSNBC. Since then, not much has changed.

(audience laughs)

Well -- maybe for Coach Pop not much has changed since the mid-1990s.

Speaking of change, for our part of the world, we had a few changes just within the last year or so. Greg Palmer started "On A Roll" -- and he then passed the dice and hosting duties to me. I started hosting "Hot Dice" -- and then passed the dice and hosting duties to Bill McDee. Patrick Wayne hosted a pilot for "High Rollers" and the network immediately took a pass on the whole project.

(audience laughs and applauds)

Before we get going tonight, could we get a camera on this couple over here in the third row, please?

(camera cuts to Tony and Desiree)

(audience cheers)

Yes, I've known Desiree for years. You and Tony have been married now -- three years?

(Desiree inaudibly responds in the affirmative)

Thought so. Math and recollection are right for once.

(scattered laughter from the crowd)

They were nice enough to treat me to lunch earlier today -- because they tell me they passed by my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame -- and I had to let 'em down. That star belongs to some other Doug Morris.

(audience laughs and applauds)

But still, they picked up the tab. I at least left our waitress a tip. It was a little piece of paper that read, "Lucky Lindy on the fifth at Hollywood Park."

(scattered laughter from the crowd)

Well, it's almost time to distribute the hardware. Ready for the Net Game Awards -- for real?

[mringgenberg]

Yes!

[billmcdee]

(Flashing two "thumbs up")

[Billy Gardell]

Yes! Woohoo!

[dougmorrisontheair]

I'll be calling out the names of the winners. Arrange yourselves in a single line down this aisle.

(audience laughs)

Only kidding. We're starting the fun with the award for Best Graphics and AV Effects. Here to present that -- is my co-host on the "Match Game - Hollywood Squares Hour" -- Tony Lane!

[tmann3x]

Thank you, Doug. What a crowd... what a crowd! To capture the realism of an actual game show, you need to add the show's design with or without sound effects. And now, here are the nominees for Best Graphics and AV Effects.

[GameShowNetwork]

The nominees for Best Graphics and AV Effects are:
Tony Lane
Bill McDee
Hunter Dillon

[tmann3x]

And the award for Best Graphics and AV Effects goes to--

*rustles pockets*

Has anyone seen the envelope? Barry Glazer... where is it, director?

[GameShowNetwork]

(I rush to the stage with the envelope containing the winner's name and hand the envelope to Tony before heading back to my spot)

[tmann3x]

Thanks, Mark. Give it up for our producer Mark Liotta, everyone!

(applause, cheers)


Now back to the moment of truth. The award for Best Graphics and AV Effects goes to--

*opens envelope*



BILL McDEE!!!!

(cheers and applause)

[billmcdee]

Wow, and thank you so very much.

It is indeed an honor just to be mentioned in the same company as Hunter and especially Tony Lane.

When I saw some of Tony's work early on, it inspired me to want to really step up my game with visuals, so Tony, while this award may bear my name, you sir serve as the inspiration for it, and I thank you.

One picture is worth 1,000 words, and for me personally, it's far more enjoyable and engaging to follow along with the various shows that incorporate such graphics.

I humbly and very deeply thank you all.

(taking a bow and exiting stage left)

[dougmorrisontheair]

Congrats, Bill. Both you and Tony do an amazing job with graphics. That's just *part* of the reason I decided to join up with you guys.

Hey, remember the old "Let's Make A Deal"? (scattered cheers) Remember when Monty would give away live goats and mules -- and even sardines?

Well, if you thought those prizes were strange, get a load of the prizes some of us gave away just within the last year. Here to present the nominees and award for strangest prize is the host of "$ale of the Century" -- Greg Palmer!

[palmer7]

(I walk out on stage to cheers and applause)


Thanks, Doug. Now, any game show can give away cash, a car, or furniture. Those are basics. But some of the prizes we've seen are quite unusual. Here are the nominees for Strangest Prize.

[palmer7]

STRANGEST PRIZE


Bitcoins


(footage courtesy of Grundy Television/NBC)

[CASHCARD]



Time for the CashCard, and Michael, you have an $18 lead over Jon. You know how this works. Four suits. One of them has $15, one has Random Cash, one has this prize....



(Shannon and Mitch manipulate the stocks)



Stacey: Michael, your $15 investment could be worth much more as $ale of the Century gives you the opportunity to invest in a cybercurrency. Bitcoins! You'll win the cash value of 100 XBT. The price is determined by the current market value on the day of taping. Currently, it stands at....


$23,591


(cheers and applause)

Pikacar


(footage courtesy of CDM Enterprises)

dougmorrisontheair said:

(MG-HSH theme plays)

Doug: (in pre-recorded audio) Any contestant who wins five matches in a row drives home in a new car.

(audience cheers)

Gotta catch this car celebrating Pokémon. This Pikachu-inspired Toyota Toyopet comes with an anti-theft device to ensure Team Rocket will never steal it. Large Pokéball not included; the car wouldn't want to be in the ball anyway.


(audience laughs)

We're also adding this gas card -- furnished by CDM Enterprises worth $175,000 -- to make this prize package worth $216,025.

(audience cheers)

Greg: And the NGA goes to...... (I open the envelope) Bitcoins!



Well..... Hey, there's nothing wrong with alternate forms of investment. Game shows have given away stock certificates and gold, why not bitcoins? They're becoming a part of society. Even Rand Paul was taking donations in bitcoin. Why not let contestants have a jumpstart on this new currency?


However, I've talked it over with the big conglomerate known as FremantleMedia, and they want me to share this award with the less politically-fueled Pikacar. This is the 20th anniversary of Pokémon, and Doug has done more to bring the franchise into the mainstream than anyone else here. Come on up, Doug. We've got to split this award in half.

[dougmorrisontheair]

LOL! Well, in working with Greggo over many years, I've learned a lot about anime -- from the fans.

That car, by the way, ended up in John Lopez's garage. So I'll know you'll join me in congratulating him on that.

[palmer7]

(and the crowd congratulates him) Yes, well done, John.

[tmann3x]

(cheers and applause)






Jennifer Love Hewitt:  Hi, everyone.  I'm Jennifer Love Hewitt from "Gambit".  I hope you'll stick around because the party has just getting started.  And trust me... there's always room for two more.  Still ahead, we'll have performances by Adele and an epic performance by Chicago featuring Peter Cetera.  And we'll also have another award to be handed out.  When The 2016 Net Game Awards returns... after this LIVE on CBS.










The 2016 Net Game Awards... sponsored by--








Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula with Vitamin E.  Indescribably special.












And Ziploc.  Life needs Ziploc.



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[palmer7]

(fade in)


Greg: Ladies and gentlemen, our first musical guest is a lady with a song that has hit #1 on 48 different charts. It's currently spending its 21st non-consecutive week at the top of Billboard's Adult Contemporary chart. Here's Adele with... "Hello".



(audience cheers loudly as Adele, wearing a simple white dress, walks in, carrying a mic. Behind her are a group of backup singers.)



(the audio track)



Adele:


Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya
But I ain't done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

There's such a difference between us
And a million miles

Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself. I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?

And it's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time

So hello from the other side (other side)
I must have called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

[4x:]
(Highs, highs, highs, highs,
Lows, lows, lows, lows)
Anymore

Hello from the other side (other side)
I must have called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore





(as the song ends, the audience gives her a standing ovation)

[dougmorrisontheair]

Thank you, Adele. Fantastic job. About half the staff of Crag: The Numbers Game want your autograph.

(scattered laughter from the crowd)

When he hosted "Wide World of Sports", the remarkable Jim McKay assured viewers they would see the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. In our part of the world, we've had some painful moments -- although not quite as painful as that of Slovenian ski jumper Vinko Bogataj.

(scattered laughter from the crowd)

Here to present the award for Most Painful Moment, the star of "Pay Cards!", Bill McDee.