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Post by koopakid17 on Apr 28, 2016 16:40:03 GMT -5
I'll stick with C.L.G. please.
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Post by jmdarrall on Apr 28, 2016 21:51:41 GMT -5
ME: Trying to play catch-up, or trying to get rid of C.L.G., Kevin?
KEVIN: No comment.
(Audience laughs)
ME: Good one! OK, for 20 points, fellas...C.L.G., take it away!
(C.L.G. once again turns toward the contestants and says...)
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 10:49:15 GMT -5
Man, being a composer for a production logo must be very lucrative, heck, six figures for composing a 7 to 15 second fanfare? It's practically free money someone's handing you just for music! I mean, you have Lalo Schifrin for Paramount, James Horner for Universal's freakin' 75th anniversary, and of course, this composer for 20th Century Fox who, oddly enough, shares his name is MAD Magazine's gap-toothed mascot. What's his name, is it Alfred Alberts, Alfred Newman, or John Williams? And Steve, I want to hear the 20th Century fanfare once one of the couch potatoes answers correctly.
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Post by jmdarrall on Apr 29, 2016 21:06:18 GMT -5
(BONG! [13] Kourtney's light shines)
ME: Kourtney?
KOURTNEY: Alfred Newman.
C.L.G.: That is correct! Hit it, Steve! (Steve briefly plays the 20th Century Fox fanfare as Kourtney and the crowd applaud)
ME: Nicely done, Kourtney. You have 40 points and control...
(Air raid sirens sound as most of the set lights go dark and the TV says...)
OFF THE AIR
C.L.G.: What's happening? I wasn't done.
ME: Yes, you are! The TV is OFF THE AIR, and you have to go, C.L.G.!
C.L.G.: But, but...
KARI: I'll handle this. Say, C.L.G., I noticed that you didn't riff on me like you did the guys (She stands right beside C.L.G. and gives him some flirty eyes). I like you...a lot (Audience whistles). Why don't we go out to the alley and...(she whispers something in his ear, but we can't hear it. C.L.G.'s eyes perk up.)
C.L.G.: Oh, yeah! Let's go, baby! (Kari takes him out to the alley. As she does so, Steve starts playing the backing track to a 1961 Ray Charles hit...)
ME: Thank God he's gone! One of you is also gonna be gone momentarily. Let's check the scores!
MARC: 110 points
KOURTNEY: 40 points
KEVIN: 45 points
ME: Oh, no! Colin, you picked the wrong guy! Kourtney, you were just 5 points short. To be fair, you went up against a fireball of a player, but today, you got burned. Hope you like Ray Charles! See ya!
(Kourtney reluctantly puts down his remote and signaling device. Meanwhile, the audience sings...)
AUDIENCE: HIT THE ROAD, JACK! AND DON'T YA COME BACK NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE! HIT THE ROAD, JACK! AND DON'T YA COME BACK NO MOOOOOOORE! WHAT DID YA SAY?
(As the audience sings, Kourtney's chair is yanked back through the breakaway brick wall. Stagehands in weird costumes torment him as a black curtain drops down over the hole in the wall. Finally, the audience quiets down.)
ME: Phooey, now I've gotta get that wall repaired. Marc and Kevin, only one of you can go to the Wheel of Jeopardy, and our final round will decide who that is. Get ready to play THIS, THAT, OR THE OTHER!
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Post by jmdarrall on Apr 29, 2016 21:14:47 GMT -5
ME: Marc and Kevin, let's play THIS, THAT, OR THE OTHER. This is our lightning round. I've got 12 questions, you give me answers. Give me right answers, I give you 10 points a pop. Give me wrong answers, and I take back 10 of your points. Be careful, all right? Only the first person to ring in gets a crack at each one. Kevin, you're behind by 65, but you're not out of it. You'd better hope for one of two things: A. That you can ring in pretty frickin' fast, or B. That Marc has a massive brain fart (Audience laughs). Let's find out what we're doing today, shall we?
(I open the envelope)
ME: The category is SINGING STEVIES. I'll give a fact, and you tell me if it pertains to...
STEVIE NICKS
STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN
STEVIE WONDER
Those are the three answers, here are your 12 questions. Good luck!
1. Vied for attention with Christine McVie.
2. Serves as a U.N. Messenger of Peace.
3. Won an Oscar.
4. Has a statue in Austin, Texas.
5. Currently capable of sight.
6. Member of the Blues Hall of Fame.
7. Only married for a few months.
8. Had a song top four Billboard charts within one year.
9. Got a co-writing credit on a Destiny's Child song.
10. Born Stevland Hardaway Judkins.
11. Fronted Double Trouble.
12. Born first.
(Marc and Kevin, please PM me a buzz code and answer for all 12 questions. Since penalties are involved, you may elect to PASS on a question you're not sure of, so you can avoid the penalty. Good luck!)
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Post by jmdarrall on Apr 30, 2016 18:07:14 GMT -5
(Here goes nothin')
ME: Number one: VIED FOR ATTENTION WITH CHRISTINE MCVIE.
(BONG! [86])
ME: Marc?
MARC: NICKS.
ME: Right! (Marc: 120)
ME: Number two: SERVES AS A U.N. MESSENGER OF PEACE.
(BONG! [24])
ME: Kevin?
KEVIN: WONDER.
ME: Right. (Kevin: 55)
ME: Number three: WON AN OSCAR.
(BONG! [22])
ME: Marc again.
MARC: WONDER.
ME: Right! (Marc: 130)
ME: Number four: HAS A STATUE IN AUSTIN, TEXAS.
(BONG! [61])
ME: Marc?
MARC: VAUGHAN.
ME: Yes! (Marc: 140)
ME: Number five: CURRENTLY CAPABLE OF SIGHT.
(BONG! [74])
ME: Marc again!
MARC: NICKS.
ME: Yes! (Marc: 150)
ME: Number six: MEMBER OF THE BLUES HALL OF FAME.
(BONG! [56])
ME: Marc again!
MARC: VAUGHAN.
ME: Got it again! (Marc: 160)
ME: Number seven: ONLY MARRIED FOR A FEW MONTHS.
(Nobody moves...DD BUZZ-BUZZ!)
ME: Time! It was STEVIE NICKS.
ME: Number eight: HAD A SONG TOP 4 BILLBOARD CHARTS IN 1 YEAR.
(BONG! [62])
ME: Marc?
MARC: WONDER.
ME: Yes, sir. It was "Part-Time Lover" in 1985. (Marc: 170)
ME: Number nine: GOT A CO-WRITING CREDIT ON A DESTINY'S CHILD SONG.
(BONG! [83])
ME: Kevin?
KEVIN: NICKS.
ME: Got it! (Kevin: 65)
ME: Number ten: BORN STEVLAND HARDAWAY JUDKINS.
(BONG! [100])
ME: Kevin?
KEVIN: WONDER.
ME: Correct! (Kevin: 75)
ME: Number eleven: FRONTED DOUBLE TROUBLE.
(BONG! [6])
ME: Kevin again?
KEVIN: VAUGHAN.
ME: Good! (Kevin: 85)
ME: Number twelve: BORN FIRST.
(BONG! [46])
ME: To Kevin!
KEVIN: WONDER.
ME: Wrong! It was NICKS. She was born in 1948, Wonder in 1950, Vaughan in 1954. (Kevin: 75)
("Double Dare" rapid-fire dings. Theme plays as Steve plays along.)
ME: And time is up! The final score is Kevin with 75, and Marc with 170! Nicely played, gentlemen! Kevin, you came on strong at the end, you really did, but Marc was just too quick for you. See you later!
(Kevin sets down his buzzer, and his seat gets yanked back, into the left side of a rotating wall, which flips side-over-side, so that the outside wall is now inside...yep, we've even included the garden hose attached to the wall. I am now sitting on Marc's armrest. Marc breathes a sigh of relief as he unstraps himself.)
ME: Marc, great game! Your pop culture knowledge has been impressive so far, but the Wheel of Jeopardy will be your ultimate test. Pass with flying colors, and here are some more of the prizes that you could win...
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Post by jmdarrall on Apr 30, 2016 18:16:07 GMT -5
 COLIN: From Apple, the iPad Mini 4 puts uncompromising performance into a package that's thinner and lighter than ever before. Plus, it features a 30% faster CPU and 60% faster graphics. Comes with all standard features, advanced security, super-fast Wi-Fi connection, and an iOS 9 operating system designed just for the iPad. We're also including a $100 gift card for either the App Store or iTunes. KARI: If you want to be a champ, you have to look the part. From Reebok, you'll receive official his and hers fight kits from the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Each kit includes a custom jersey, Octagon shorts, Arion sneakers, and a walkout hoodie. From Reebok, the official clothing supplier of the UFC and "Remote Control"! COLIN: Now, you can catch any concert anywhere in the country with this concert voucher from livenation.com, valued at $900! KARI: The M Series 60-inch HD Flat-Screen LED Smart TV is Vizio's most awe-inspiring TV yet. It delivers incredible picture quality, powerful performance, and slick design. Enjoy ultra-sharp 2160p resolution, super refresh rate for a consistent picture, and an expansive variety of Smart TV content with all the latest apps. (Screen changes to an overhead shot of the Wheel, spinning slowly as Marc and I approach it) KARI: Coming up, we put Marc through the spin cycle... KARI AND COLIN: WHEN "REMOTE CONTROL" CONTINUES! |
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Post by jmdarrall on Apr 30, 2016 20:46:19 GMT -5
(Tail end of theme plays. Marc is seen lying down on the red arrow of the Wheel of Jeopardy, with a central-mounted Go-Pro trained at his face. He and I are wearing wireless earpiece/microphone combos.) ME: Welcome back! Before we continue, I do have a special announcement. Due to the fact that Jay was misbehaving during a stopdown, we had to remove him. Since Marc was waiting in the wings, ready to take his place, and did so late in the game, we think it's fair to invite him back on our next show, regardless of his performance here today. (Applause) ME: OK, Marc. Welcome to the Wheel of Jeopardy. In a moment, we're gonna move you so fast, your head - and everything else - will spin. As you spin, I'll toss 10 questions your way. You get one chance at each question. When we get through all ten, we'll see how you did and give you a chance to win our Grand Prize. Along the way, you'll score a prize for each right answer. For each of your first eight answers, you'll win one of the eight prizes Colin and Kari described earlier. Give me nine right answers, and we're gonna send you somewhere nice. Hey, Colin... ME AND THE AUDIENCE: Where on Earth is he going?!  COLIN: California, here you come, baby! Marc could be going to sunny San Diego! Southwest Airlines Vacations will fly you and a companion from New York - LaGuardia to San Diego for a six-night stay at the legendary Loews Coronado Bay Resort, featuring private beach access, 439 luxury guestrooms, three heated pools, Sea Spa, and the world-class Mistral Restaurant. Lounge around the resort, or visit the world-famous attractions of this vibrant city, because we're throwing in a rental car, travel insurance, and $500 in spending cash to make this vacation worth $4,800! ME: Oh, yeah! Mighty nice this time of year! Marc, I'm sure you'd love that, but if you get 10-for-10, or your head is pointing to a WIN! screen when all is said and done, then you can take a ride on this!  KARI: Get ready to hit the waves with the 2016 Yamaha V1 Waverunner! Powered by a 3-cylinder, 4-stroke Yamaha Marine Engine with electronic fuel injection, this personal watercraft is one of the most versatile on the water and fun enough for the first-timer. It features a multi-function instrument panel, digital meters, and tow hook for stable, easy towing. Comfortably seats up to 3 adults. As always, Yamaha reminds you to have fun, but be safe! This prize will "rev your heart" and it is worth $7,900! ME: We spare no expense here, Marc! Now, during the break, we asked if you wanted questions from TV, MOVIES, or MUSIC. Which did you choose? MARC: I chose TV, Jon. ME: TV it is. Kari, may I have the TV envelope, please? (She brings it over and hands it to me...) KARI: Here you are, Jon. (...then, she places one hand on each of Marc's cheeks and gazes seductively into his eyes.) Go get 'em, Marc. (Audience responds with wolf-whistles, hoots, and hollers) ME: Cool it! Kari, just out of curiosity, when you propositioned C.L.G. earlier, did you...? KARI: Oh, heck no! I asked him if he wanted to discuss how the "Shortened M" logo that MTV uses totally s*cks...(she feels a slight shock in her body)...I mean...succeeds in representing the new direction the network and its audience are going (Audience laughs). ME: Ah, phew. The last thing I'd want you to do is make out with that weirdo (more laughter). Marc, let's play, shall we? I wonder what your category is today. (I open the envelope) Hmmm, intriguing. It's COMPLETE THE "SNL" QUOTE. Over the course of "Saturday Night Live"'s long run, it has produced some of the most memorable quotes in TV history. I'll start a quote from "SNL," and you finish it. For instance, if I said "No Coke...", you would say "PEPSI." ME: There are a couple more rules before we begin: you only get one attempt per question, I can only take your first answer, and your answers MUST BE EXACT. With that, Marc, I have to legally ask this before we can start - do you have any questions about the rules? |
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Post by marc412 on Apr 30, 2016 21:00:14 GMT -5
No sir.  |
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Post by jmdarrall on Apr 30, 2016 21:34:37 GMT -5
ME: Then, let's begin.
(I take my place at the stanchion just beyond the Wheel)
ME: When I throw the switch, you'll start spinning. I'll ask the first question when you make one complete revolution.
(I throw the switch and wait a few seconds as Marc makes the first revolution)
ME: First question...
"Live from New York..."
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Post by marc412 on Apr 30, 2016 21:58:27 GMT -5
It's Saturday Night!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 1, 2016 20:53:43 GMT -5
ME: Second question...
(In a German accent)
"I am Hans, und I am Franz. And we..."
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Post by marc412 on May 1, 2016 21:04:21 GMT -5
Want to pump you up!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 1, 2016 22:10:12 GMT -5
ME: Third question...
"Well, isn't that..."
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Post by marc412 on May 1, 2016 22:13:40 GMT -5
Special!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 2, 2016 9:12:12 GMT -5
ME: Fourth question...
"Good evening. I'm Chevy Chase..."
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Post by marc412 on May 2, 2016 9:36:47 GMT -5
And you're not.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 2, 2016 13:59:54 GMT -5
ME: Fifth question...
"Because I'm good enough, smart enough, and..."
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Post by marc412 on May 2, 2016 15:45:39 GMT -5
Doggone it, people like me!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 2, 2016 21:04:30 GMT -5
ME: Sixth question...
"Party on, Wayne!"
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Post by marc412 on May 2, 2016 22:33:42 GMT -5
Party on, Garth!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 3, 2016 7:46:52 GMT -5
ME: Seventh question...
"That's my story..."
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Post by marc412 on May 3, 2016 8:43:33 GMT -5
And I'm sticking to it.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 3, 2016 10:42:05 GMT -5
(Colin can be seen pumping his fists in excitement)
ME: Eighth question...
"It's always..."
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Post by marc412 on May 3, 2016 12:21:48 GMT -5
Something.
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Post by jmdarrall on May 3, 2016 12:27:45 GMT -5
ME: Ninth question...
"We are two..."
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Post by marc412 on May 3, 2016 12:29:28 GMT -5
Wild and crazy guys!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 3, 2016 12:32:24 GMT -5
ME: Last question...
(Deep Spanish accent)
"You look..."
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Post by marc412 on May 3, 2016 13:19:09 GMT -5
Mah-velous!
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Post by jmdarrall on May 3, 2016 20:25:08 GMT -5
ME: OK. The judge has given me the thumbs up, saying we have all your answers. Now, we're going to see which ones you got right. If you hear a bell, that means you gave a right answer, and the corresponding screen will say WIN!. A buzzer means you gave a wrong answer, and the screen will read LOSE. You're going to hear the sounds in order, from 1 to 10. Gentlemen, how did Marc do?
(BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!...........BONG!............................................BONG!)
MARC: YEAHHHH!
(Steve plays a longer fanfare as car alarm sounds play in the background)
GRAND PRIZE WINNER
ME: Settle down, man! You got all ten right! However, there's one more order of business. We still need to stop you. During the break, you picked a Bonus Number. If we stop you on your Bonus Number, you win an extra $5,000. Which number did you choose?
MARC: Number 1, Jon!
ME: How appropriate. Whenever you're ready, I'd like you to shout STOP THE WHEEL! (And, give me a letter A-J, inclusive) Good luck!
(Marc calms down and yells...)
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