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Post by hodders on Sept 4, 2015 3:25:21 GMT -5
{Scattered laughter due to me reading American Football for Dummies and Englishmen, before scribbling an answer}
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 4, 2015 7:30:32 GMT -5
(inserts card) Doing just fine, we've got a new champion now. He has $261 and he wants to go all the way. Drives the director batty, he does.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 4, 2015 20:28:23 GMT -5
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 5, 2015 10:17:18 GMT -5
Ian's just about finished... ...and they're all ready. Kourtney, here's the question again. After the first pre-season game, Phil the football coach said, "I can already tell this is going to be a long season. Our quarterback wasn't throwing to our receivers or their defense. Instead, he kept throwing to BLANK. |
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Post by pathfinder20 on Sept 5, 2015 16:00:16 GMT -5
Total guess: the referees?
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Post by billmcdee on Sept 5, 2015 19:16:45 GMT -5
(chuckling as I like that answer)
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Post by hodders on Sept 6, 2015 8:54:51 GMT -5
Quarterback could have OCD, seems reasonable to me.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 6, 2015 20:43:46 GMT -5
(scattered laughter from the crowd) Doug: That's actually a great answer. Basically, anyone who's not a player on the field is fair game -- if ya know what I mean. Ian, we start with you again. Ian: I remember doing this back in the old network, I'll say this again. I hate to go in... (card) [MY BODY] (buzz) (scattered laughter, boos and groans) Doug: Ohhhhh -- kay. I wonder why we have a two-drink minimum here. (scattered laughter) Bill? Bill: You see, unlike Tom Brady's balls, which were deflated, Phil's balls were over-inflated, much like his ego. Therefore, and to it, Phil kept making "passes" at all the ladies, and as a result, he kept tossing the ball at the... (card) [TEAM'S CHEERLEADERS] (buzz) (audience cheers) Doug: Now *that* was my answer. Not a match, though. Matt, did you think of the zebras? Matt: (card) The Cheerleaders (buzz) (audience cheers) Doug: Nope -- more cheerleaders. Let's see if we find refs on the lower tier as we revisit Greg. After the first pre-season game, Phil the football coach said, "I can already tell this is going to be a long season. Our quarterback wasn't throwing to our receivers or their defense. Instead, he kept throwing to BLANK.Greg: This quarterback was a Comm. Media major, so he kept throwing to... (card) [THE STUDIO] (buzz) (audience laughs) Doug: Ahhhh -- already thinking about becoming a jock-turned-analyst. I like that. Sam? Sam: Now being an Englishman I'm less accustomed to American "football" (using fingers for quotation marks) -- but for the heck of it, I said he threw it to... (card) [THE MASCOT] (buzz) (audience laughs) Doug: Great answer, Sam. Hunter, bring this round home. Hunter: Doug, you'll find out if the team scores or not... After the break. (card) [COMMERCIAL] (buzz) (audience laughs) Doug: Going along Greg's lines -- but, unfortunately, not Kourtney's. | MY BODY | TEAM'S CHEERLEADERS | THE CHEERLEADERS |
| THE STUDIO | THE MASCOT| COMMERCIAL |
Kourtney's answer: THE REFEREES
(MG-HSH underscore theme plays)Doug: Well -- we're still scoreless. But we'll get a winner -- somehow -- in Round 3 -- after this. (audience applause) |
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 6, 2015 22:01:03 GMT -5
(promo) Greg: I know the fall season is about to begin, so we're going to take this time to look at some of the new shows.  We begin with Monday night. You've got two hours of The Voice. Oy vey. Then, you've got Blindspot, a show about a mysterious tattooed woman who has lost her memory and does not know her own identity. Tuesday night is more Voice, followed by.... oops! (I quickly spray paint over Heartbreaker, replacing it with Chicago Med). That's better. Chicago Med, a show about doctors and medical students in.... well, Chicago. Now, at 10 is something I'm looking forward to. Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris. Unfortunately, that'll be replaced in November with Chicago Fire. Wednesday night, we have The Mysteries of Laura, followed by Law & Order: SVU and Chicago P.D. Thursdays brings us Heroes Reborn, then an all-new season of The Blacklist starring that guy from Boston Legal, and then Wesley Snipes in The Player. Friday night, NBC is creating some sort of a TGIF block, though not nearly as family-friendly. We've got Undateable, followed by the return of Mark-Paul Gosselaar to the Peacock Network with... (I spraypaint over the original title) Truth Be Told. Then, another season of Grimm and Dateline. Gee, I hope they're paying Lester extra. He's got another one on Saturday night, followed by a classic SNL. And then on Sunday, football! (I look over the schedule) Oh look, there's something missing at 7:30 weeknights. (I spraypaint the top of the map to reveal $ale of the Century) My show, $ale of the Century. Where we give away over a million dollars in cash and prizes or die tryin'. That's this fall on NBC. Let's all be there!  |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 7, 2015 7:35:37 GMT -5
(audience cheers)Welcome back. Time to start the third and final round of Match Game. (Doug pushes button on toaster revealing Round 3 questions) Now, players, if the scores is still zero-to-zero after Round 3, Mark wins Hollywood Squares by default. (audience laughs) Only kidding. If we do have a tie of some sort after Round 3, we go to the tie-break as usual. Jon went first in Round 2 -- so that means Kourtney has the pick. Kourtney, Question A or Question B?
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 7, 2015 19:48:00 GMT -5
 (Bump for Kourtney.) |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 8, 2015 7:57:04 GMT -5
(buzz buzz)No pick in time. So (reaches into pocket; pulls out coin) I'll flip this quarter and let it land on the floor. Heads, it's A; tails it's B. (Doug flips; coin turns up...) And it's heads, so you play A. (Doug grabs A; walks to panel) And all six stars play both questions in this round. And away we go. Quahog 5 News anchorman Tom Tucker said, "I don't know what it is about Ollie Williams. He keeps forecasting rain BLANK we like it or not." (think music plays)(scattered laughter from the crowd)
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2015 8:57:45 GMT -5
(Inserts card) we just finished taping for our Celebrity Wheel of Fortune special, and I don't want to spoil the outcome of the game. Let's just say we had a big mess to clean up afterwards.
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Post by hodders on Sept 8, 2015 9:55:28 GMT -5
Was Alan throwing tomatoes around again?
[Building laughter and applause from those who get the reference]
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2015 10:06:41 GMT -5
No, Vanna and I managed to get him to stop doing that.
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 8, 2015 10:20:27 GMT -5
I'm glad Vanna's not co-hosting my show. People would start asking me if I was her son.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 8, 2015 21:12:08 GMT -5
I'm not gonna get in the age discussion on this one. But -- uhh -- I've suddenly forgotten where I left my dentures. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Annnnd -- not a moment too soon, all six stars' answers are ready. Kourtney, question again. Quahog 5 News anchorman Tom Tucker said, "I don't know what it is about Ollie Williams. He keeps forecasting rain BLANK we like it or not." |
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 8, 2015 21:13:05 GMT -5
Turn that music off, he can't think!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 9, 2015 7:47:17 GMT -5
(Bump for Kourtney.) |
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Post by pathfinder20 on Sept 9, 2015 16:30:45 GMT -5
I have a feeling it's a horrible pun coming but "Weather" or not: Weather is my answer.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 16:44:06 GMT -5
(Gives Kourtney a standing ovation)
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 9, 2015 18:00:46 GMT -5
(I sarcastically follow Kourtney's lead, complete with golf clap) Bra-vo!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 9, 2015 20:34:27 GMT -5
(audience cheers)Doug: They like that answer. I get the feeling the panel likes it to. Let's start comparing answers -- with Ian. Ian: (card) Whether (ding; audience applause)Doug: Considering spelling doesn't count, that's a match. One fast Hallelujah chorus as we go to Bill. Bill: (card) Weather/Whether (ding; audience applause)Doug: Both spellings -- but still just one match. Kourtney's up to $200. Matt, do you make it $300? Matt: (card) Whether (ding; audience applause)Doug: Bam! Three for three. Greg? Greg: Getting a little desperate, aren't we? (card) [weather/whether] (ding; audience applause)Doug: I promise this and the other question where in the toaster before airtime. Sam? Sam: Now, I know on Blankety Blank the mantra was "The clue is in the question", but I'm really having my hand held here, am I right? (card) WHETHER (ding; audience applause)Greg: At least nobody goes home with a Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour checkbook and pen. (audience laughs)Doug: Well said. Well -- Hunter, do you make this a clean sweep? Hunter: THE Definitive Answer: (card) WEATHER and/or WHETHER (ding; audience applause) | WHETHER | WEATHER/WHETHER | WHETHER |
| WEATHER/WHETHER | WHETHER | WEATHER/WHETHER |
Kourtney's answer: WEATHER
Okay, Kourtney, on the board and in a big way. Six matches at $100 each for $600 *plus* the perfect score bonus of $400 -- giving you a total of $1000. Jon, if he can run the table on one question, so can you. That has to happen -- or else Kourtney goes to the Squares.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 9, 2015 20:51:54 GMT -5
(Doug grabs B; walks to panel) Annnd -- here we go. Last half of Round 3 goes something like this. Cal the customer said, "Gosh, they've really rearranged this grocery store. I looked all over for the bananas and grapes and my search was BLANK."
(think music plays) |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 21:07:40 GMT -5
(Inserts card) hey Doug, during the commercial break, I found this sitting on the steps. (I pull a silver balloon out from under my desk) Greg, I believe this belongs to you. Came from $ale right down the hall.
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 9, 2015 21:08:54 GMT -5
(I insert my card) That's preposterous. You know I tape at Sunset Bronson.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 21:16:51 GMT -5
Well then someone must've smuggled it in... Oh wait, that's me. (Blushes beet red, laughter from the audience) apparently, I have sticky fingers because I attended the studio audience for $ale last week.
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Post by tmann3x on Sept 9, 2015 21:19:21 GMT -5
Shadoe Stevens: Thanks... I was looking all over for that balloon. And it was signed ny Craig Ferguson. Thanks, guys!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 21:24:10 GMT -5
No problem, Shadoe.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 10, 2015 7:50:13 GMT -5
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