$ale of the Century [NBC]: Episode 31

[palmer7]

It's the start of another week, and Jon has $95 in his bank. Who wants to play against him?

[Deleted]

I'll do it

[Deleted]

SOTC? I'm game!

[palmer7]

All right. Showtime is later tonight.

[jmdarrall]

Checking in for my second episode.

[palmer7]

---

(drumroll)
(shot of Jon Darrall)


Charlie Tuna: (VO) This is our returning champion, Jon Darrall, from South Carolina. Stand by to see Jon play for a life-size T-rex skull, valued at $9,500!



[OPENING THEME]








Charlie Tuna: (VO) Tonight, on America's biggest bargain sale, we're offering a trio of classic Porsches worth $152,300 for $530!



All the prizes, plus a cash jackpot of $900,000 for $750!



Two of the incredible bargains on......




(echo)






And now, here's the star of our show...... Greg Palmer!


(the doors open and I run to my lectern to cheers and applause)



Greg: Thank you. Thank you very much, Charlie. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, this is the $ale. I got a feeling this is going to be a big week. We're starting it off big today, with $50,000 in the CashCard. Mmmm. And here is a fine champion, Jon Darrall!


(audience cheers for him)


Hiya, Jon. Welcome back. What'd you do this weekend?

[jmdarrall]

Not too much, just took some time to relax and ponder my next move in this game.

[palmer7]

That's good. So you're rested, refreshed, and ready to take the next step towards all those big prizes, including that 900-grand and rising cash jackpot. Ready to meet your challengers?

[jmdarrall]

Yes.

[palmer7]

All right. Here to introduce the challengers is Stacey Wren!



(Stacey walks out to cheers and applause)


Very nice, Stacey, very nice.






Oh and look, you brought a friend.


Stacey: Yes, I did. Girlfriend, this is that American I was telling you about. The loaded one.


Stacey's Friend: Bloody oath! You're telling me this is the lair?


Stacey: Yep!




Greg: i don't know what you're saying about me, but I think it's time you and your friend parted ways.


(Stacey's friend kisses me on both cheeks and walks off, leaving me bewildered)


Greg: What was that about?


Stacey: Oh, nothing. Nothing really. She's just a friend of mine who dropped in from Murrumbateman, in New South Wales.



Greg: We ought to send her back to Old South Wales. Which contestants did you bring us this time?


(as the doors open, models escort our contestants to their seats)



Stacey: Well, first, he's unemployed, but happy. From Elba, Alabama; please welcome James Greek! And he's an aspiring screenwriter and avid gamer from Titusville, Florida. Let's say g'day to John Lopez!


(audience cheers, and Stacey leaves)



Greg: We'll see you for the first Instant Bargain. OK, let's say hello to our players here. John, you're an aspiring screenwriter. What kind of stuff do you write?

[Deleted]

Well, it ranges from genre to genre, but mostly I deal in the realm of writing adaptations of other works, or as a lot of people collectively call, fanscripts.

[palmer7]

Fanscripts, eh? All right. Now, I understand you're also a gamer. What's your favorite game so far and why?

[Deleted]

Has to be Chrono Trigger. A classic on the SNES, though I have the DS version currently, and it's just a fun RPG in general.

[palmer7]

Oh yeah, I had the DS version myself, but I couldn't figure out where to go. Well, maybe you'll win some money here today. Good luck to you.


James, you're unemployed. How do you spend your time?

[Deleted]

Playing net games, Watching netflix and YouTube

[palmer7]

OK. What are these net games?

[Deleted]

Well various like this one and I'm also a contestant on On a Roll after dark in the second match and I am playing various. Too many to name

[palmer7]

All right. Good luck to you. $20 to start.


(the board initializes)



John: $20
James: $20
Jon: $20




All right. It's Monday, and somebody watches my other show on another network. Good luck to everyone, here we go.



1. What Parisian landmark's 150-millionth visitor won a new Citroen ZX automobile?
2. What movie monster's name is derived from the Japanese words for "gorilla" and "whale"?
3. What did China brew 12.25 million tons of in 1993, becoming the world's second largest producer?
4. What ancient people started mining and smelting copper ore in 5,000 B.C.?
5. Give me the next line to this Walter Egan hit from 1978. Listen.





Ooh, you're so close now I can't let you go
Ooh and I can't let go


With you I'm not shy to show the way I feel
With you I might try my secrets to reveal




(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. What Parisian landmark's 150-millionth visitor won a new Citroen ZX automobile?
(buzzcode: 55)
*Jon buzzes in (40)*
Jon?
Jon: Eiffel Tower
And all he did was show up. You're right.
(ding)


John: $20
James: $20
Jon: $25



2. What movie monster's name is derived from the Japanese words for "gorilla" and "whale"?
(buzzcode: 35)
*Jon buzzes in (52)*
Jon?
Jon: Godzilla
Absolutely.
(ding)


John: $20
James: $20
Jon: $30



3. What did China brew 12.25 million tons of in 1993, becoming the world's second largest producer?
(buzzcode: 51)
*James buzzes in (45)*
James?
James: Coffee
(wrong)
Oh no.... beer. With "brew" in the question, it was one or the other, and you chose the wrong one. Sorry, James. Down to $15.


John: $20
James: $15
Jon: $30



4. What ancient people started mining and smelting copper ore in 5,000 B.C.?
(buzzcode: 89)
*John buzzes in (79)*
John with an h?
John: Egyptians
Egyptians is exactly right.
(ding)



John: $25
James: $15
Jon: $30



5. Give me the next line to this Walter Egan hit from 1978. Listen.





Ooh, you're so close now I can't let you go
Ooh and I can't let go


With you I'm not shy to show the way I feel
With you I might try my secrets to reveal


(buzzcode: 80)
*James buzzes in (78 )*
James?
James: For you are my magnet and I am steel!
Judges?
(wrong)

No, we had to have the exact line. You said "you are my magnet", and the correct answer is "you are *a* magnet". Sorry about that, James. You go down to $10.



John: $25
James: $10
Jon: $30



[INSTANT BARGAIN]



Time now for an Instant Bargain, and Jon, you have a $5 lead over John with an H. How'd you like to buy this?




(Mitch and Kelly do some photography)




Stacey: Jon, have you ever looked at those magazines and thought, "Gee, I could do so much better than them?" Well, now you can have a go at photography with this complete package. It comes with everything seen here, including a tripod, lenses, flash, and more. Furnished by Canon.




And you can make good use of that package to take pictures of beautiful women, like me, on your trip to Long Beach! You and a guest will spend 4 nights in a Club Harbor View King room at Hyatt Regency Long Beach. Only steps from major attractions, shops, restaurants, and entertainment, this luxurious California hotel offers easy access to the Aquarium, Shoreline Village and Queen Mary. From the hotel, you can also take a stroll along the harbor, play on the beach, or take in a performance at the Convention and Entertainment Center right next door to the hotel. The Hyatt Regency Long Beach hotel. Plus, we're including a rental car and travel insurance. Normally, this package is worth...





$3,102



But it's yours on $ale of the Century for only....



$5



(audience cheers as I join them)



Greg: Well, that's lovely. A camera package and a trip in one. Say Jon.... "do you like photography?", he asked him knowingly?

[jmdarrall]

I could use a new camera...and a sojourn to Long Beach sounds nice, too. You don't have to say any more...

(I hit the buzzer)

[palmer7]

He's going to buy! (audience cheers)



[$ALE SURPRISE]
(audience cheers louder)



Oh, there's a $ale Surprise that goes with it. (Mitch hands me the envelope, and I open it) And would you look at that? There's money. I'm going to walk over here and give it to you. (I walk over to Jon's spot) Hold out your hand, and audience, count along! (audience joins in as I give Jon $100 bills) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine! $900 in cash! Well done, all for just the value of a question.



(I walk back to my lectern)


We take the $5 off your score.



John: $25
James: $10
Jon: $25



And now you're in a tie with John. Back to the questions.



1. What Superman substance did The Spin Doctors have a pocketful of, according to the title of their 1991 album?
2. What sport boasts bunkers, doglets, and galleries?
3. Starting with "B", what part of a bird is sometimes called a neb or a nib?



(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. What Superman substance did The Spin Doctors have a pocketful of, according to the title of their 1991 album?
(buzzcode: 27)
*Jon buzzes in (55)*
Jon?
Jon: Kryptonite
I own that album, and you are right!
(ding)


John: $25
James: $10
Jon: $30



2. What sport boasts bunkers, doglets, and galleries?
(buzzcode: 50)
*Jon buzzes in (43)*
Jon again?
Jon: Golf
Well done. Right again.
(ding)


John: $25
James: $10
Jon: $35




3. Starting with "B", what part of a bird is sometimes called a neb or a nib?
(buzzcode: 85)
*James buzzes in (75)*
James?
James: beak
Right you are, and you go to $15.
(ding)


John: $25
James: $10
Jon: $35




[FAME GAME]




Fame Game time. Players are competing now for control of the board. Famous thing.


I am a fast-food item created in 1967. I was created by Jim Delligatti, who was operating several restaurants in the Pittsburgh area. I had two previous names, both of which failed in the marketplace: the Aristocrat, which consumers found difficult to pronounce and understand, and Blue Ribbon Burger. The name I currently have was coined by Esther Glickstein Rose, a 21-year-old advertising secretary. I debuted at Delligatti's Uniontown, Pennsylvania restaurant in 1967, selling for 45 cents. I proved popular, and was added to the nationwide menu in 1968. I consist of two 1.6 oz 100 per cent beef patties, American cheese, "special sauce", which is actually a variant of Thousand Island dressing, iceberg lettuce, pickles, and onions, served in a three-part sesame seed bun. I offer 550 kcal of energy and 15% of the carbohydrates you need every day.



(buzzcode and answer, please)

[palmer7]

(buzzcode: 61)
*John buzzes in (61, BULLSEYE!)*
John?
John: Big Mac
You're right! It is the Big Mac.



Stacey, where's the $10 Money Card?

[tmann3x]

[palmer7]

(lights in motion)


Stacey: Behind the number four.


Greg: All right, if you can hit that $10, we'll add it to your score. The lights are locked into your buzzer. Good luck, and fire when ready. (a letter from A-I, please)

[Deleted]

Alright, let's go. (F)

[tmann3x]

[palmer7]

(he stops)


Oooh, and he misses. But behind #9, he gets.....

[tmann3x]

[palmer7]

["Dancing Plancton" (not a typo)]







Charlie: (VO) An acoustic immersion pod! This pod immerses a listener in an acoustically optimized chamber, providing an enveloping audio experience with its robust six-speaker surround sound system, lined with open-cell acoustic foam that creates a personal sound environment that will not disturb those nearby. Furnished by Hammacher Schlemmer.


(cheers and applause)


Greg: Nice prize, John. It's worth $3,000 and is yours to keep regardless of your outcome in the game. Speaking of Big Macs, in 2005, McDonald's began offering product placement rewards to hip hop artists who namechecked the Big Mac in their music, giving US$5 to the artist for every time a song mentioning the hamburger was played on the radio. Mad Skillz said it best when he said.... (I clear my throat) "And I'm beefin' wit' Mickey D's man, y'all dead wrong, Talkin' 'bout payin' rappers to mention Big Macs in their song, We do rap from the heart, y'all better have some respect, Alright, Big Mac! Big Mac! Big Mac! Now where's my check?" We'll be right back. Yo.


(main theme to commercial)
(cheers and applause)
(fade to commercial)

---

---

(fade in)
(main theme closes, cheers and applause)




Greg: And welcome back. We forgot to add $5 to James' score.



John: $25
James: $15
Jon: $35




There. Now the scores are accurate. James is at $15, John is at $25, and Jon is at $35. $20 separates all three players. Back with this for all three of you.


1. What parade was first staged in 1792 for a man who was not Irish?
2. What's the Bicycle brand famous for making?
3. According to Meghan Trainor, "If your lips are moving, then" what?
4. What two letters are missing from a phone dial?
5. What were the New England Patriots called before they moved to Foxboro?


(buzzcodes and answers, please)