I'm In a Dark Place-Possible Hiatus

[grapebuy789]

Hello NGC community. I need to tell this to everyone and I hope everyone hears this and understands. The last couple of weeks, I have not been 100% mentally. I've been very depressed and I feel so low and like I don't matter to anybody. Yesterday, something that happened at home which caused my family to become angry with me. This caused me to feel worse than I already was feeling. Because of this, there may be a possibility that I will be taking a long hiatus from the forum so that I can focus on my mental health. For right now, I'm still here, but I ask that any games I am participating in for the hosts to give me some extra time to respond. Just a little. Some days I have difficulty getting out of bed and moving on with my daily routine. Also, any games that I am hosting, I ask for a little bit of patience. Depression sucks and I hope nobody here goes into the state of mind that I'm in right now. Here's what I ask of you folks. Please send me a message of hope and goodwilll in the comments. I really need this right now. I thank you all for understanding and, like I said, I am still here but I ask for extra time when responding to games. Thank you all.

F.S

[koopakid17]

Take all the time you need, Frank. If you need an ear, I can be one for you.

[billmcdee]

Frank, as somebody who used to be an anxiety sufferer, enormous panic attacks which would totally drain me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I know only too well about how depression goes, as depression goes hand in hand with general anxiety disorder.

Over the past several years now, we have been going through highly anxious times, both as a nation and as citizens of this world.

To paraphrase something that President Kennedy once said, this nation's experienced a great many hard times, but we as a nation have gotten through them.

I've discovered that the same holds true for our own personal struggles.  Struggle isn't necessarily a bad thing, for it means you still have some fight left in you.  Hold onto that.

Although it is very rare, I am able to take a prescription medication if my anxiety becomes too high.  It is very rare now that I ever need to do so.

A combination of having listened to an audio tape series over and over many years ago, when my anxiety attacks were at my worst, coupled with finding the right counselor to talk with, learning to more and more lean on the Lord, all of those, plus having a sensational job during the week which is so therapeutic for me, all helps.

Many's the time I felt at my lowest in this life Frank.  But then I would get excited, why?  Because I knew that I had nowhere to go but up!  That sounds like where you might be right now.  So hold onto that too.

More than once, during my 30s, when I would have such bad anxiety attacks that I would not be able to go to work, I would drive to my favorite aunt's house.  Having her around was most comforting to me.  She came from the school of tough love, but she had a heart of gold to say the least.  She was also my Godmother.

She would say to me "Billy, what doesn't kill you can only serve to make you stronger."  That is by far one of the very best things anyone has ever told me, and I share that, and my rather long story here with you now.

For those of us who endure the challenges of mental health issues, I personally find that I feel comforted when I know I'm not alone.  And I feel much less alone when others take the time to understand not only how I feel, but why I feel as I do.

For many years, I was unsure why my anxiety attacks came on when they did.  I was finally able to figure out why, and that unlocked a great many doors for me.  I have gone from being an anxiety sufferer to a part-time worrier warrior instead.  Transformational vocabulary is a very good tool that I use too.

For example, instead of saying "I HAVE to go to work..." I instead say "I GET to go to work!"  Instead of saying "Ugh, it's only Wednesday."  I instead say "It's ALREADY Wednesday!"  And I renamed Thursday many years ago, and I call it "Friday Eve" now, makes the work week feel shorter, which is a bonus when you love your work as much as I love mine.

Many years ago, a former member (and moderator) of these boards criticized me for sharing too much of my personal side.  When I was in my 20s and 30s, I would worry about what others thought of me.  When I was in my 40s I stopped caring what others thought of me.  And now, at age 55, I've come to realize that most often, most people aren't thinking about me at all LOL.

Whatever you may have done to anger or upset your family, own it, apologize for it, repent, and work with them to move forward.  Life is like driving an automobile.  There's a reason why the windshield is far bigger than the rearview mirror.

Lastly, I'll leave you with these other words of advice that my dear aunt would share with me....

Take life one day at a time.  If you find that gets to be too much, then take each day 5 minutes at a time.

Best always, and hope these shared experiences and thoughts will help you, both short term and long....

Bill

[pathfinder20]

Real life before virtual sir. As a person also struggling with anxiety and depression, I don’t want to give just words. If you need a person to talk to feel free to talk to me. Sometimes it may just take a few steps at a time and sometimes just taking a step can be extremely painful and agonizing as well. Well you have people here to care for you as well. If you need anything please don’t be afraid to reach out with out judgment.

[dougmorrisontheair]

We are thinking of you, Frank.

[dad90]

3 cheers to Bill McDee and to you Frank, for I can sometimes be at that low area as well.

For me, I have to do something just to get those troubling times off of me, and it will take some time to recover, and I HIGHLY suggest to listen to Joel Osteen. He will be worth your time.