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Post by billmcdee on Feb 20, 2020 9:45:38 GMT -5
LOL, THAT is a clever answer!!!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 20, 2020 20:30:52 GMT -5
(mix of laughter and boos) Doug: Interesting answer. Well -- we'll compare answers -- starting with Kevin. Kevin: She's so fat she can do her act on the entirety of this strip... (buzz) (audience laughs) Doug: What happens there might stay there -- but the sight is unforgettable. Bill? Bill: This is a very weighty subject. Instead of stripping off clothes, she should strip off... (buzz) (audience laughs) Bill: The scale in my doctor's office says "Weight right here." (more laughter) Doug: Ah, good pun. To Mark now. Mark: The owner said she'd be better off stripping ... (buzz) (audience laughs) Doug: No matches -- but interesting answers as we visit Tony. Did you hear Fat Frieda auditioned to become a stripper? After her audition, the strip club owner told her she'd be better off stripping BLANK.Doug: Matt said "nothing" -- and has literally nothing to show for the effort. (scattered laughter from crowd) Tony: The only thing that Fat Freda is hired is that she's the only employee who can strip (card) bacon -- (audience laughs) -- and fry 'em. (buzz) Doug: Mmm -- bacon. Steve? Steve: Sounds like a commercial for Zip Strip... (buzz) (scattered laughter and applause) Doug: Sure does. And Steven, close this half of the round, please. Steven: Gotta go with Steve on this and say... (buzz) (scattered laughter and applause) Doug: More paint, eh? Doug: Well, I guess the ol' saying is true. Aim at nothing and you'll hit it every time. (more laughter from crowd) Patrick, you'll be up shortly. |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 20, 2020 20:39:01 GMT -5
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Post by GameShowNetwork on Feb 20, 2020 21:24:49 GMT -5
(I insert my answer; ding)
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 21, 2020 21:06:46 GMT -5
And the stars are ready. Patrick, here's the question again. Melissa is the world's greatest salesperson. Last week, she sold BLANK to Amazon founder Jeff Bezos.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2020 21:12:30 GMT -5
Condoms?
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Post by koopakid17 on Feb 21, 2020 22:38:09 GMT -5
What rating are we again?
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Post by tmann3x on Feb 21, 2020 22:40:27 GMT -5
Is Howard Stern watching this, Doug?
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 21, 2020 22:59:11 GMT -5
(mix of laughter, gasps and boos) Doug: I wouldn't be surprised. So, Patrick, you're saying his romance with Lauren is leveling up. (scattered laughter from crowd) Doug: Well, we'll check answers and see if any other minds are in the gutter. Kevin, we start with you again. Kevin: He's not one to turn these down. Then again, how else did he get all that money? (buzz) (scattered applause) Doug: See, that's a great answer. Amazon started as an online bookstore. Bill? Bill: I'm channeling the spirit of Patti Deutsch, may she rest in peace. I said this lady was such a great salesperson, she sold him... (buzz) (audience laughs and applauds) Doug: Oh -- that again. Huhhhhh kay -- on we go to Mark, while we're still on the air. Mark: Amazon originally sold just books when they started. Therefore, Mr. Bezos was sold a stack of handy dandy (card) books by Melissa. (buzz) (scattered applause) Doug: More tomes but no prophylactics as we revisit Tony. Melissa is the world's greatest salesperson. Last week, she sold BLANK to Amazon founder Jeff Bezos.Tony: (impersonating Pres. Trump) I'm the President of the United States and I approve this answer... (buzz) (audience laughs and applauds)Doug: Sales are yooge. (more laughter) Steve? Steve: I'm probably going to get a ratings downgrade for this one... (buzz) (audience laughs and applauds)Doug: Eh, ratings, schmatings. Steven, please wrap this round up. Steven: Maybe she sold him this... (buzz) (scattered "woahs" from crowd) Doug: Note to master control -- please add in a suicide prevention hotline PSA immediately. Doug: Round 2 -- and hopefully we'll get better answers -- after this. (theme plays; audience applause) |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2020 23:15:17 GMT -5
Now Howard Stern must be watching when he is on his radio show on the air. LOL.
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Post by tmann3x on Feb 22, 2020 1:36:42 GMT -5
ANNOUNCER: The Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour... sponsored in part by L'Oréal Paris-- Because you're worth it.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 22, 2020 15:12:47 GMT -5
(audience cheers)And welcome back. Time to start Round 2. (Doug pushes button on toaster revealing Round 2 questions) Normally the leader picks. However, score's tied. Matt went first in Round 1. Patrick, this means you'll start Round 2 by picking Question A or Question B.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2020 15:40:03 GMT -5
A this time.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 22, 2020 19:20:38 GMT -5
(grabs A; walks to panel) A it is -- and since the score's knotted at nil, all six stars play both questions this round. Here's the first. Sherri said, "I think something's wrong with my TV. ESPN+ and Disney+ are streaming at the same time. It looks like a football player is BLANKING Snow White's seven dwarfs."
(audience laughs and applauds) (think music plays) |
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Post by tmann3x on Feb 23, 2020 2:13:31 GMT -5
And we're waiting for Solsak's answer... |
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Post by st1200 on Feb 23, 2020 9:12:51 GMT -5
You Forgot to send it as a PM
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 23, 2020 16:16:43 GMT -5
[NOTE FROM DOUG: Sorry for the oversight, Steven.]
Steven's just about finished... ...and they're ready. Patrick, here's the question again. Sherri said, "I think something's wrong with my TV. ESPN+ and Disney+ are streaming at the same time. It looks like a football player is BLANKING Snow White's seven dwarfs."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2020 17:05:49 GMT -5
Mickey Mouse?
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Post by st1200 on Feb 23, 2020 17:10:35 GMT -5
Uh Patrick you might get booed on that
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Post by koopakid17 on Feb 23, 2020 17:11:46 GMT -5
No one can really control what the audience does, but we have influence.
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Post by tmann3x on Feb 23, 2020 20:24:44 GMT -5
GILBERT GOTTFRIED: YOU FOOL!!!!! |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2020 20:57:23 GMT -5
GILBERT GOTTFRIED: YOU FOOL!!!!! This is the first time Gilbert said “YOU FOOL”. LOL. |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 23, 2020 21:56:51 GMT -5
(as audience boos) Doug: Something tells me you didn't grow up with Mad Libs. (scattered laughter from crowd) Doug: Patrick, we were looking for a verb and you offered a proper noun. So, unless by some absolute miracle a star came up with a matching answer, we'll zip through the formalities quickly. Kevin? Kevin: They're so small that they could be used in a touchdown dance... (buzz) (scattered applause) Doug: That's something a football player can do with a dwarf. Bill? Bill: To me the definitive answer has to be... (buzz) (scattered cheers) Doug: That's a great answer for sure. Mark? Mark: What happens when the dwarfs are on offense and you're on defense? Gotta (card) tackle them. (buzz) (scattered cheers) Doug: More tackling -- but no Mickey. Sherri said, "I think something's wrong with my TV. ESPN+ and Disney+ are streaming at the same time. It looks like a football player is BLANKING Snow White's seven dwarfs."
Doug: Tony, what say ye? Tony: On a 4th down situation, you must do this move as always... (card) (buzz) (scattered applause) Tony: Ray Finkle, eat your heart out! (scattered laughter from crowd) Doug: Ah, that Ray. Steve? Steve: What every player tries to do to my favorite #12 of the New England Patriots, with very limited success thankfully... (buzz) (scattered applause) Doug: How true indeed. I'm sure you'd love to see him suit up for the Pats at least one more season. Steven, how did you end this half? Steven: They were (card) punted by The Kansas City Chiefs in that super bowl. (buzz) (scattered applause) Doug: Judge, for giggles and the benefit of viewers playing from home, had Patrick said "kicking", would that match "punting"? (buzz)(inaudible explanation from Judge Von Erik) Doug: Because one implies a chance to score three points and the other implies surrender of the ball to the other side. Thought so. Doug: Well, one more round to go for you, Patrick. Matt, here comes a chance to forge ahead. |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 23, 2020 22:03:38 GMT -5
(grabs B; walks to panel) And away we go with the latter half of the round and this question for all six stars. Monique said, "It's not easy dating Pepe Le Pew. Every night, the world's most romantic skunk brings BLANK with him to bed."
(audience laughs and applauds) (think music plays) |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2020 20:31:21 GMT -5
(Sorry to interrupt, please check the vacation thread that I post.)
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 25, 2020 7:33:13 GMT -5
Okie doke. Stars' answers are in the slots. Matt, here's the question again. Monique said, "It's not easy dating Pepe Le Pew. Every night, the world's most romantic skunk brings BLANK with him to bed."
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Post by mringgenberg on Feb 25, 2020 20:27:00 GMT -5
Cologne
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Feb 25, 2020 23:05:41 GMT -5
(audience cheers) Doug: They seem to like that answer. But let's see if the famous half dozen like the answer -- starting again with Kevin. Kevin: He has a storage room full of it (card) perfume. (scattered cheers) (ding; audience applauds) Doug: Judge accepts. Matt's on the board. (inaudible explanation) Doug: The thesaurus at his desk says "perfume" and "cologne" are close enough to match. Fair enough. Bill, do you bring more perfume or cologne to the table? Bill: Did you know Pepe was once a student at Princeton University? Doug: I did not know that. Bill: That's how they got to be known as P.U. He brought himself to bed, him and his -- (card) Body Odor. (buzz) (a few groan) Doug: Now now -- literal implication is body odor. On to Mark. Mark: The world's romantic skunk brought some (card) perfume with him to bed (ding; audience applauds) Doug: And that's another $100 for Matt -- as we go to Tony. Monique said, "It's not easy dating Pepe Le Pew. Every night, the world's most romantic skunk brings BLANK with him to bed."
Tony: Mademoiselle Monique gets an A for Scent Education. Next time, she needs to get an air mask before going to slumberland. (card) Eau de Parfum. (scattered cheers) That's French for P-U!!!!! (scattered laughter) (ding; audience applauds) Doug: The "parfum" is good enough for another match. To Steve now. Steve: I was going to put (holds up card with crossed out answer) A DVD of the best of Tic Tac Dough starring Patrick "Yooou Wiiiin!!" Wayne. (scattered laughter from crowd) Steve: But she'll have to settle for... (ding; audience applauds) Doug: Four matches and $400 for you Matt. Steven, do you make it a near clean sweep? Steven: So that's why my wife told me to role play as Pepe Le Pew of course... (ding; audience applauds) Doug: And that's five. Doug: Well -- a near perfect score for you, Matt. Patrick, anything can happen in Round 3. Find out who's advancing to Hollywood Squares -- when you come back. (audience applause; MG-HSH music plays)
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Post by billmcdee on Feb 26, 2020 6:32:59 GMT -5
(Evidently Patti Deutch's spirit is still lingering in me!)
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Post by tmann3x on Feb 26, 2020 9:51:09 GMT -5
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