$ALE OF THE CENTURY [NBC]: Episode 69

[palmer7]

First, I'd like to thank Tony Lane for hosting the last episode. He kept the store open. Nearly tried to give the store away, but at least the lights were still on. 

In the meantime, he crowned a new champion on our last episode, and Nels Snesrud certainly got a king's bounty. $337,096 in cash and prizes including $60,000 off CashCard and the Aston Martin DB11 V8. And that's just in one night. I feel like Chris Schenkel right now. 


Who'd like to take him on? (New players/novices first, please. We can't have the same people playing all the time.)

[grapebuy789]

It's been a while since I played $ale, so I'll give it a try.

[joeygatorman]

I'll give it a crack.

[palmer7]

And we'll need our champion to check in, please.

[nelson17]

The champ is here

[palmer7]

---

Greg: (VO) Previously on $ale of the Century....

Apr 12, 2018 14:56:28 GMT -5 tmann3x said:

4, 8, and 10... Let's begin with number 4.  Carrie Ann, what's inside number 4?

[DING]


It's a Jukebox.  This vintage jukebox is valued at almost $10,000.  Your next pick is number 8.  What's in number 8, Carrie Ann?

[DING-DING-DING]

[DRUM ROLL]


It's the Instant Win card.  The next selected card will be an automatic match.  If number 10 has the word CAR, you'll be going on a victory lap in a brand new automobile.  If number 10 has the word THE, you'll be one step away from winning the entire lot and a cash jackpot of $1 million.

Behind number 10, you have found the word--

CAR!!!!  Nels has just won the Aston-Martin!


[TIME'S UP BELL SOUNDS]

[WIN THE LOT CUE, BELLS RINGING, SIRENS WAIL, LOUD CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]



Unbelievable!  Congratulations on winning that car, Nels.  How do you feel after winning that luxury automobile on your very first day?

Apr 12, 2018 15:05:14 GMT -5 palmer7 said:

(balloons and confetti drop)

Apr 12, 2018 16:35:32 GMT -5 nelson17 said:

I'm in shock I can't believe it

Apr 12, 2018 18:09:28 GMT -5 tmann3x said:

$242,146 Aston-Martin is all yours, Nels.  Come on over there and meet Carrie Ann and your new car.

---

(pre-opening sequence)

(Greg has made it back to California. He's in his makeup chair being made up and talking to Jennifer Mullen, executive producer.)

Jennifer: At least the audience had a decent time. One thing, though, Meat Loaf can no longer sing. He has no business singing, he's 70.

Greg: Hasn't stopped him from selling albums. Nobody pays attention to The Voice anymore, unless you're Carson Daly. See what I did there?

Jennifer: Oh, and your song? Terrible.

Greg: I wrote the hook, Jim did the rest. I tried making it sound modern. (He looks upward so they can apply more makeup.) Big mistake.

Jennifer: Are you just resting on your laurels at this point? I need you to get serious about this.

Greg: Totes serious, Jen. Totes serious. (He gets up.) (to the makeup lady) Thanks. (He then turns to Jennifer.) It was your idea to have me compete with Drew and Wayne. We went to #1 in the box office, we're crushing Wheel, I think we're doing just fine. (he walks towards the stage, where he's stopped by Meat Loaf)

Meat: Greg! They hated your song. I've never heard so many boos in my life.

Greg: Don't have the time right now, Meat. Maybe later. (he walks on, Meat thinks about it and comes up with a tune)

Meat: (singing to himself) Don't have the time right now....

---

(drumroll)
(shot of Nels)

Burton Richardson: (VO) So far, Nels Snesrud has won cash and prizes totaling.....

[OPENING THEME]





Tonight, one of our contestants could win a human-powered car, diamond earrings, or a wine tour around the world!


And continue a journey towards a fortune in cash and prizes including this Aston Martin DB11 V8......

And thousands of dollars in cash! In total, over.....

--on.....




(echo)

And now, doing his part to keep America great, here's GREG PALMER!



(wild cheers and applause as the doors open and I run to my lectern)

Greg: Thank you. Thank you very much, Burton. (more cheers and applause) Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to $ale of the Century. Got a good crowd with us tonight. We're so happy you could join us at home. I'd like to thank Tony Lane for sitting in for me last night, it was short-notice, but I think he did..... hmmmm, well, the less said, the better. He kept the lights on, I'll say that. Right now, I feel like Chris Schenkel, because on our last show, Tony crowned a brand-new champion, and he ended up with a total of $115 and cleaned us out for nearly everything. That includes $60,000 in cash from the CashCard and that Aston Martin. Let's meet that big winner, Nels Snesrud!


(short cheers and applause)

Nels, I understand you're a cashier from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Tell us some more about yourself, and what you're going to do with the 60-grand you won last night.

[nelson17]

I'll put it in the bank to save it

[nelson17]

I love old Nickelodeon game shows like double dare and finders keepers

[palmer7]

I hear you, man. But now, they've got new ones. Have you seen Keep It Spotless?

[nelson17]

No I haven't

[palmer7]

So, what you have are two duos of kids who are dressed in all white. They have to compete in these games involving paint. The only thing is, they can't get it on themselves. This is because they get scanned, and the cleaner you are, the more points you get. The team with the most points faces the Gauntlet for as much as $10,000 in cash... which is a lot for two kids. You might want to check it out, it's on Nickelodeon. Check your local listings.


Glenn: (off-camera, from producer's table) Was that necessary?

Greg: Valid point, Glenn. Anyway, Nels, you've already got the car, so you don't have to worry about getting over $100 to play for it. You've already got it. Are you ready to meet your challengers?

[nelson17]

Yes I am greg

[palmer7]

Very well. Stacey will be back next week... I hope. In the meantime, here to introduce the challengers.... from You're the Worst and Dinosaur King, Kether Donohue!


(cheers and applause as Kether walks out on stage and joins me)

Hello, Kether.

Kether: Hey. Look, I thought you said you weren't going to mention Dinosaur King.

Greg: Well, I don't watch You're The Worst.

Kether: You should.

Greg: Some people in this audience don't watch the show, either.

Kether: Wednesdays at 10 on FXX.

Greg: Dinosaur King is on KidsClick. Check your local listings. We're even.

Kether: This repartee is lacking. Mechanical.

Greg: Don't make me have to bring in Sebastian. He's on another network.

Kether: Don't remind me.

Greg: Who are our challengers, Zoe?

(As Kether introduces the contestants, models of the opposite gender escort them to their seats)

Kether: (in the voice of Zoe Drake) Well, Doctor Z, we have a student studying early childhood education. From Holbrook, Massachusetts, meet Frank Satori. And he's a legal courier for a major corporation in Washington, D.C. whose hobbies include soccer and classic cartoons. From Montgomery Village, Maryland, here's Joseph Kristoff.

(cheers and applause)


Greg: That was very good, Kether. Very good. Thank you. Joseph, you are into classic cartoons. How classic are we talking? Have you watched Dinosaur King or Magical DoReMi?

[joeygatorman]

More of the Looney Tunes Hanna-Barbera variety. I grew up watching them on not only my local channel but on TNT and Cartoon Network. As for the two you brought up, I know of them very vaguely and certainly only in passing.

[palmer7]

Kether: You know, I only did those anime for the money. And the exposure.

Greg: You're right. Out of all the co-hosts I've had, You're the Worst. See what I did there? (audience reacts)

Kether: Co-host! Thank you.

Greg: I grew up watching those shows, too. It's sad to see them all moved off to Boomerang to compete with Ben 10 reruns. I mean, have you seen Cartoon Network now? I hardly recognize it.

[joeygatorman]

Well, you don’t really see the Hanna-Barbera shows on Boomerang, either, outside of Scooby-Doo and its countless iterations. Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry are still there, though. From what I’ve seen of today’s Cartoon Network, though, it’s pretty decent. I don’t watch it regularly, but I have seen shows such as “Gumball” and “Steven Universe” and they’re pretty good.

[palmer7]

Well, OK then. Hey, maybe we'll end up in an episode of "Gumball"! (off-camera banter) What do you mean we're owned by Disney? That isn't until next year! (audience reacts) Good luck to you, Joseph. Nice having you here.


Hiya, Frank. You're studying early childhood education. Are they starting to teach preschoolers to the test now? Are they introducing standardized testing at an early age?

[grapebuy789]

I feel as though we are. But with preschoolers, we have other ways to test them through authentic assessment. Meaning we use a variety of methods from simple note-taking to taking photographs of children while they work on a project.

[palmer7]

Now, taking photos of kids, isn't that in some way a violation of their privacy? I mean, they're kids. Young, impressionable, innocent children. I mean, why assess them at all? They're preschoolers, they're going to be in the educational system for at least 12 years, hopefully 16 or more, why not just let them learn? Why must we assess them? (audience cheers)

[grapebuy789]

First of all, teachers take photos of kids every day. It's a way we can show parents what they are doing in the classroom. It's not like they are for the world to see. Confidentiality is very important in my field of study. Second, we need to assess children to see where they are in their development and if they need any special services. Also, I feel as though these interview questions should not be asked. I'd rather talk about briefly if I enjoy it and what I plan to do with my degree once I earn it.

[palmer7]

(audience cheers for that, too)

Well excuse me. You're absolutely right. Let's try this again. Do you enjoy it? What do you plan on doing with your degree?

[grapebuy789]

That's better. Well Greg, ever since high school, I have enjoyed this field. After I graduate next May, I plan to find work in a preschool classroom.

[palmer7]

Kether: You deserved that.

Greg: Why don't you go play with your dinosaur? (to the audience) None of this banter is scripted, B-T-W. Well, it's about as scripted as Curb Your Enthusiasm and is carefully edited. Frank, thank you for critiquing and correcting my interview, I think. We were going to do a whole promo, "Greg Palmer asks the hard-hitting questions... sometimes during interviews, too."

Kether: I'm getting outta here. $20 to start, good luck, bye.

(the board initializes)
(Kether exits)




Joseph: $20
Frank: $20
Nels: $20



Greg: Typical A-list talent. She's an A-something else, too. Anyway, let's go.


1. Wisconsin has a shoreline along which two Great Lakes?
2. What sitcom inspired a book titled The Bro Code?
3. What character from that sitcom often uses the catchphrase "legen—wait for it—dary!"?
4. A tree that loses its leaves every year is called what?
5. The greatest, most popular or most renowned achievement of a writer, artist or composer is known as a what?


(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. Wisconsin has a shoreline along which two Great Lakes?
(buzzcode: 17)
*Nels buzzes in (30)*
Nels?
Nels: lake Michigan and lake surperior
(buzzer)
Yeah, we all know you meant "Superior", but the judges say you changed the pronunciation. It is Lake Michigan and Lake Superior. Sorry, we gotta take $5 off, down to $15.


Joseph: $20
Frank: $20
Nels: $15


2. What sitcom inspired a book titled The Bro Code?
(buzzcode: 36)
*Frank buzzes in (56)*
Frank?
Frank: How I Met Your Mother
That's right, and you move up to $25.
(ding)


Joseph: $20
Frank: $25
Nels: $15


3. What character from that sitcom often uses the catchphrase "legen—wait for it—dary!"?
(buzzcode: 36)
*Nels buzzes in (44)*
Nels?
Nels: barney Stinson
And Neil Patrick Harris is currently hosting the show Genius Junior, here on NBC. Sunday nights. You're right, you get that $5 back.
(ding)


Joseph: $20
Frank: $25
Nels: $20



4. A tree that loses its leaves every year is called what?
(buzzcode: 3)
*Nels buzzes in (35)*
Nels?
Nels: deciduous trees
And you're up to $25. Well done.
(ding)


Joseph: $20
Frank: $25
Nels: $25



5. The greatest, most popular or most renowned achievement of a writer, artist or composer is known as a what?
(buzzcode: 19)
*Nels buzzes in (60)*
Nels?
Nels: magnum opus
Right you are, up to $30.
(ding)


Joseph: $20
Frank: $25
Nels: $30



[INSTANT BARGAIN]


Instant Bargain time, the player in the lead can buy bargain merchandise. Nels, you have a $5 lead, $30 to spend..... (just then, the phone rings, Greg answers it) Hello? Oh, it's Stacey, I'll put it on speakerphone. (he presses a button) Hi, Stacey.

Stacey: (VO) Hi, Greg. How are things going?

Greg: Just fine. We've got Kether Donohue subbing for you tonight, I think she hates me.

Stacey: (VO) Oh, sorry to hear that. Look, the reason I'm not here this week is because I'm facing deportation to Australia.

(audience gasps) Greg: Deportation!? That's outrageous.

Stacey: (VO) I've tried so hard to settle in America, but there's something wrong with my work visa. But I just got a call from Fox, they're going to send me the best lawyers to represent me at my trial. They should be arriving at your place any minute.

Greg: Lawyers? Here?

(Just then, we hear a familiar saxophone riff as three smartly-dressed attorneys enter through the doors.)

(The audience cheers, as we see Michael Kuzak [Harry Hamlin], Ann Kelsey [Jill Eikenberry], and Victor Sifuentes [Jimmy Smits], all from L.A. Law.)

Kether: And while Greg's dealing with this, Nels, let me tell you about this prize we're offering. It's the suit that the Latino guy is wearing.

(Just then, an unnamed model walks out wearing an identical suit, modeling it.)

You'll look stylish in this suit from Emporio Armani. This silk blend suit includes a double-breasted jacket with satin lapels, double rear slit, patch pockets and a handkerchief pocket. The trousers feature a high waist, side stripes, leg darts, straight pockets and rear jetted button pockets. Yours with a gift certificate to Emporio Armani, which is valued at....

But is yours on $ale of the Century for only....

(audience cheers)

Greg: You must be Stacey's defense team.

Michael: And you must be Mr. Palmer. Allow me to introduce myself. Michael Kuzak, from Brackman-Kuzak.

Victor: Formerly McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak. Victor Sifuentes, expert on immigration law.

Ann: Ann Kelsey, providing a woman's perspective.


(they shake hands and stuff) Greg: Nice to meet you all. I don't know if you guys realize this, but this is a TV show you just walked in on, and that music sounds awfully familiar. (audience chuckles)

Michael: We use it in all our commercials. Have been since 1986. (scattered laughter, applause)

Greg: ....Good to know. Excuse me. Nels, do you like Emporio Armani? Could you use a suit like this?

[nelson17]

I dont know

[palmer7]

Well, I'll tell you what this is. It's a gift certificate to Emporio Armani, $2,500 worth of stuff. You can pick out whatever you want from them. It'll only cost you $5, you'd be in a tie with Frank. You don't need to worry about having a score over $100 because you already have the car. I'll even throw in $1,000 in cash. $3,500 for just the value of a question.

[nelson17]

Buzz

[palmer7]

(he hits the buzzer)

And he's going to buy! (audience cheers)



Joseph: $20
Frank: $25
Nels: $25



You're in a tie for first, enjoy the cash and the gift certificate. $3,500 for the value of a question. And now, we're going to invite representatives from the law firm of Brackman-Kuzak to sit down and enjoy the rest of the show. Brackman-Kuzak, everyone! (audience cheers as Victor, Michael, and Ann walk into the audience and sit in the front row) When it comes to L.A. Law, they're the best. See what I did there? (audience laughs) Anyway, back to the match we go.

1. How many players are there in a standard basketball team?
2. What two artists are namechecked in Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA"?
3. What kind of natural disaster destroyed three of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World?

(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. How many players are there in a standard basketball team?
(buzzcode: 75)
*Frank buzzes in (56)*
Frank?
Frank: 13
Yes, 5 on the court, and 8 on the bench. You're right, and you take the lead.
(ding)


Joseph: $20
Frank: $30
Nels: $25


2. What two artists are namechecked in Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA"?
(buzzcode: 92)
*Frank buzzes in (63)*
Frank?
Frank: Jay-Z and Britney Spears
Exactly right, and you're up to $35.
(ding)


Joseph: $20
Frank: $35
Nels: $25



3. What kind of natural disaster destroyed three of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World?
(buzzcode: 42)
*Frank buzzes in (47)*
Frank?
Frank: An earthquake
Right you are, and you take the hat trick.
(ding)


Joseph: $20
Frank: $40
Nels: $25


[FAME GAME]


And it's Fame Game time again. Tony did it his way last time, now we go back to the standard 6-word puzzle. $10 Money Card is going up on the board. Players, we're looking for a famous person.


(whoosh as the puzzle board appears on screen)



[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]

[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]


(# of clues and buzzcode, please)

[palmer7]

Famous person. Ready? Go.


[__PORTRAYED__] [_____________] [_____________]

[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]


(beep)

Portrayed.


[__PORTRAYED__] [_____DAVE____] [_____________]

[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]


(beep)

Dave.


[__PORTRAYED__] [_____DAVE____] [____BARRY____]

[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]


(beep)

Barry....

(buzzcode: 41)
*Frank buzzes in (56, 3 clues)*
Frank?