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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 23, 2016 6:48:22 GMT -5
Staff announcer: Join us for the local report -- tonight after Celebrity Card Sharks.
George Gray: It's turnabout night;
Tony's turn to play!
So let's deal some cards
and get underway.On...[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]Celebrity Card Sharks!
And here is our guest host for Celebrity Card Sharks... Doug Morris![LOUDER CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]I thank you, George. Helloooooooo, everybody, and welcome to this special edition of "Card Sharks". It's a game of decisions that can lead to a big payoff for a worthy cause. So, let's open up the board and get to the cards. [MAIN THEME, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]Liz and Julia, the twins from "Big Brother" are going to deal out the cards. While they load up the board, we're going to meet our celebrity card sharks. (both contestants run to their podiums) Greg Palmer and Tony Lane. Welcome, gents. Yes, that's right, Tony gets to play "Card Sharks" -- but first, let's talk to Greg. Greg -- please tell us about yourself.  (scattered laughter from the crowd)
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Post by tmann3x on Sept 23, 2016 8:15:25 GMT -5
Uh... is the mic on. Oh, sorry. I am the original host of the daytime edition of this show here on CBS. I'm currently unemployed, a comic book collector, and a fan of game shows of the 1970's and 80's.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 23, 2016 11:26:04 GMT -5
Dude, I know you normally host this. (scattered laughter from the crowd) But I wanted to talk to Greg first since he's in the champion's spot. |
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 23, 2016 13:11:24 GMT -5
Yes, Tony. There's a reason why you were put in the challenger's spot. To teach you humility. Hu-mil-i-ty! (scattered laughter)
I'm Greg Palmer, host of TKO and I've Got a Secret on this very network. I used to host your show, Doug. And also.... also, I hosted the finale of the syndicated version many years ago, so I know my way around this show. The charity I am playing for is the Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research Foundation. My grandfather has Alzheimer's and dementia, so this is a charity close to home. It's great being here, and good luck to Tony.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 23, 2016 16:45:09 GMT -5
(audience respectfully applauds)
A number of my elder relatives also dealt with Alzheimer's and dementia. So I hope you raise a lot of money tonight. I hope you also rack up a lot of money for your charity, Tony. Please tell us who you're playing for.
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Post by tmann3x on Sept 23, 2016 17:30:41 GMT -5
I will be playing for the Golisano Children’s Hospital. Our community has built it into the beacon of hope it is for families of premature babies, children with heart defects, adolescents with eating disorders, kids on the autism spectrum, children who have been diagnosed with cancer and those needing life-saving surgery and families struggling with chronic childhood illnesses.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 23, 2016 20:48:46 GMT -5
(audience respectfully applauds) Another worthy cause. Good luck to you both. Earlier this morning, we shuffled the decks of cards that our celebs will play. Greg and Tony, I saw you two cut your decks of cards in front of the network officials and our audience before we went on the air. So, we are ready to play Card Sharks. Now Greg and Tony certainly know how to play. But for those who don't get to watch us in the daytime -- first of all, set the DVR! (scattered laughter from the crowd) Object of the game is to work your way across this board -- predicting whether each card in the line is higher or lower than the one that comes before it. But before you can play the cards... ...you must win a high/low toss-up question. Most of these questions are based on surveys. Then we have the occasional educated guess question. Greg, you're playing red -- so this first question's yours. We surveyed 100 people and we asked them, "If Brian Williams reported he spent the weekend with aliens on board a UFO, would you believe him?"(scattered laughter from the crowd) How many of the 100 people said they would believe him? |
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 23, 2016 22:53:29 GMT -5
Oh, I remember this question the first go-round. It was Walter Cronkite when Jim asked it. The difference here is that Walter never lied about his experiences in the field. Brian did, which is why Brian got moved to PMSNBC and Lester is hosting both Dateline and the Nightly News.
Brian Williams, nice guy I'm pretty sure, is a pathological liar. Which, again, is why he is on PMSNBC as the breaking news guy. I am going to say 35.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 23, 2016 23:06:30 GMT -5
(ding)All right, Greg says 35 out of our 100 people would believe Brian Williams was on board a UFO. (audience already shouting "higher" and "lower") By the way, anytime the celebrity in control of the question give us the actual answer, it's an instant $5000 to that star's charity. But in the event 35's not the actual number, Tony, we give you a chance to capitalize. Do you think the actual number will be higher or lower than Greg's prediction of 35?
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Post by tmann3x on Sept 24, 2016 7:54:52 GMT -5
If you believe in UFOs, you'll believe everything. I have to say that it's gonna be higher.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 24, 2016 9:38:04 GMT -5
(ding)Tony's going higher. Well, let's see how many believe Brian *and* UFOs. The actual number of people who'd believe Brian Williams if he reported he spent the weekend with aliens on board a UFO -- *is*... (dings; audience applause)...22. Not higher -- it was lower. Obviously some lingering trust issues My next question: Will any of us be allowed back on the Burbank lot for MG-HSH? (audience laughs and applauds)(scattered laughter from the crowd) All right, Greg, you won the question. I'll flip over the base card. After I turn it over, you may play off the base card or exchange it for the next card from the top of the deck. And your first card in the match is... (scattered cheers) ...a 3 of clubs. Is this your base card? Greg, I have a sneaking suspicion you play the card. Unless you want to go Bill Daily on us and change it -- (scattered laughter from the crowd) -- is the next card higher or lower than the trey?
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 24, 2016 11:11:46 GMT -5
Let's keep that card and go higher!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 24, 2016 15:28:14 GMT -5
Greg keeps it and goes higher than a 3. Another trey or, obviously, a deuce would end the turn. Higher than a 3? (ding; audience applause)Sure -- a 10. Greg, you may continue to play as long as you make correct calls. But the moment you make a mistake, you lose every card that's face up except for the base card -- *and* you lose your turn to Tony. You may freeze and protect the 10 -- or play on. |
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 24, 2016 16:25:21 GMT -5
Lower.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 24, 2016 16:55:58 GMT -5
Playing on. Lower than a 10? (dings; audience applause)Annnd -- that just happened. $5000. This is a good time to note six bonus cards were shuffled into the regular 52. As Julia puts $5000 into the end zone, for lack of a better term, Greg, you'll pick up that money for your charity plus another $1000 if you win the game. And -- to tempt you a little bit further, I'll throw in *another* $5000 if you can go all the way without freezing. As we put a new card in place next to the 10, what say ye? Higher, lower or freeze? (audience shouts suggestions) |
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 24, 2016 17:08:41 GMT -5
Well, I have a good base card, so I'll say lower!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 24, 2016 19:32:03 GMT -5
Taking the early risk again. Lower than a 10? (buzz; audience groans)Lady in red. Sorry -- but you lose these two cards... ...you'll still play off the 3 the next time you play your cards. Right now, Tony, our daytime host, gets to play off... (scattered groans) ...a snowman. As you're well aware, Tony, you can't change the card because you didn't win the question. Is this next card higher or lower? (audience shouts suggestions) |
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Post by tmann3x on Sept 24, 2016 23:50:59 GMT -5
I hate middle cards. I'll say it's higher.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 25, 2016 7:15:02 GMT -5
Higher than an 8? (buzz; audience groans)Ohh -- and that was a good card. The 3 goes down the drain as Liz fills in the spaces. On to our next question. And our next question involves ten ladies attending college throughout Southern California. (audience applauds as ladies assemble)Ohhhh -- gosh -- how I wish I would go back to school. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Tony, question's to you. Before the show, we surveyed these ten female college students -- and we asked them, "Do you have a lower back tattoo?""(scattered hoots and hollers from the men in the crowd) How many of the ladies said they have a lower back tat? |
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Post by tmann3x on Sept 25, 2016 10:24:09 GMT -5
I've seen ladies wearing lower back tattoos a few weeks ago and I have to say it's a very high number. I'll take a guess and say 7 of them, Doug.
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 25, 2016 18:30:10 GMT -5
Well, Doug, you have to consider these are women we're talking about. I don't know if getting a tattoo helps with menstrual cramps, but I wouldn't want to try it if I was a woman. I'm going to have to say lower than 7.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 25, 2016 21:24:07 GMT -5
Tony says 7; Greg says lower. (ding) (ding) The actual number of these college ladies who have lower back tattoos -- *is*... (dings; audience applause) ...three. That's all. Greg goes back to the board in a moment. But let's chat with the students briefly. Now, ladies, the censors here are recovering from a recent incident during On A Roll -- in which just the first three letters of the word "title" appeared on the game board -- (scattered laughter from the crowd) -- followed by a take of the fifth letter -- (more scattered laughter) -- so -- based on that, we're not going to ask to show us your tats. So with that -- please raise your hand if you have a lower back tat. (two ladies in the back row and one in the front row raise there hands) Ah ha -- Leigh, care to tell us your tat story? Leigh: Oh, I got a simple tribal design and it hurt like crazy early on. I love it, though. It's cool Doug: Well, as long as you like it, it's staying there. Thank you, ladies, for your participation. (audience applauds as ladies take their seats)  All right, Greg. From 3 ladies with lower back tats to your 3 of clubs. How do you play it?
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 25, 2016 22:48:11 GMT -5
Higher, of course!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 26, 2016 6:39:56 GMT -5
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 26, 2016 13:48:18 GMT -5
Higher again!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 26, 2016 20:36:14 GMT -5
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 26, 2016 22:56:57 GMT -5
Lower!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 27, 2016 6:34:36 GMT -5
Lower than an ace. (ding; audience applause) A queen. Greg, just a reminder. You may freeze here. But if you play off the queen and make one more correct call, that's a total of $11,000 for your charity. (scattered cheers and "woos") That's $5000 from the bonus card you found earlier, another $5000 for playing all your cards right without freezing and another $1000 for winning the game. So -- how do you play it? |
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Post by palmer7 on Sept 27, 2016 11:38:58 GMT -5
Actually, Doug, and Tony can correct me if I'm wrong, I believe that since Tony had a crack at the cards, the $5,000 streak bonus goes out of play.
In any case, I will say lower.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Sept 27, 2016 20:24:25 GMT -5
(inaudible explanation from producer) Okay, great. Since we're playing for charity tonight, we're loosening the purse strings. (audience cheers) Makes sense. So this *is* for a total of $11,000 -- whether ya like it or not. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Lower than a queen? (dings; audience applause; win music plays) A jack! And that's the game. Greg leads the match one to nothing. Tony's going to try to play catch-up -- after this. (audience applause; theme plays) You're watching Celebrity Card Sharks. |
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