$ALE OF THE CENTURY [NBC]: Episode 49

[palmer7]

Ian Sherman has $7,728 in cash and prizes. Who wants to challenge him?

[mringgenberg]

I'll play.

[palmer7]

Knew you'd play, Matt. Knew you would. One more!

[Deleted]

Ready for action, again!

[Deleted]

Might as well try, but you can call me Smith for today.

[palmer7]

Smith Laudato?

[Deleted]

Ian Smith.

[palmer7]

---

(drumroll)
(shot of Ian)


Burton Richardson: (VO) So far, Ian Sherman has won cash and prizes totaling..... $7,728!



[OPENING THEME]





Tonight, one of our contestants could win a musical starship, a trip to Disney World, or a mountain estate in North Carolina!


And continue a journey towards a fortune in cash and prizes including this pair of Corvettes......

  


And hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash!




In total, over $1,000,000 on.........





(echo)






And now, here's the star of our show, GREG PALMER!



(wild cheers and applause as the doors open and I run to my lectern)


(some wiseguys in the audience start making a pumping, whirling motion with their raised fists and howling "Wuff, Wuff, Wuff")


Greg: Thank you. Thank you very much. Now wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute, what is this? What do you think this is, The Arsenio Hall Show? (I imitate them) Wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff. (audience chuckles) Burton, did you bring the Dog Pound with you? (the camera moves to Burton, as he shakes his head no) All right. We'll just add that to the list of "Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm....". Welcome to $ale of the Century, I am not Arsenio Hall. We have a champion over here who has won two games and is doing... well. He's bumped up his total quite a bit, a nice guy. Give it up for Ian Sherman!



(the "Dog Pound" whoops it up for him)


Hiya, Ian. Welcome back. What's new with you?

[Deleted]

Pretty busy for me and my folks, Greg. We're wrapping up another family vacation in Maine and the Berkshires.

[palmer7]

The Berkshires! Never been there. You've got one minute to plug the place. Go.

[Deleted]

To put it plainly, they're in western Massachusetts and northwest Connecticut, along the New York state line. Some of the more populous cities are: Lenox (where we spent two nights), Pittsfield, Great Barrington and Stockbridge. It's home to MASS MoCA, the Berkshire Botanical Garden and, of course, Tanglewood.

[palmer7]

All right. Tanglewood. Sounds interesting. Well, if you win tonight, you could go home with the musical starship worth $22,000. It's great. But first, we have to meet your opponents, and..... oh, have we got a good one for you tonight! She was born in Marshalltown, Iowa, but moved to Acapulco, Mexico when she was three! You may have seen her in many telenovelas, and she's good to look at! Please welcome Michelle Vieth!



(audience cheers as Michelle walks in)





Michelle: Hola, Greg.


Greg: Hola. ¿Como estas?


Michelle: Muy bien. ¿Y tu?


Greg: Muy bien, gracias. (pause) Are we going to have to go through this the whole show?


Michelle: No, I don't think so. But I'm glad you're trying.


Greg: Me too. Now, you're not doing anything right now. You don't have any telenovelas to be producing.


Michelle: That's true, but I wish they would've invited me to perform in Telenovela.


Greg: Oh, that's right, that sitcom with Eva Longoria. Now, why didn't we get her? (Michelle playfully jabs me in the arm) Oooh, I like her already. Who are our challengers tonight?


(As Michelle introduces the contestants, models of the opposite gender escort them to their seats)


Michelle: Well first, he's a supermarket clerk from Council Bluffs, Iowa, who is quickly becoming this generation's "Joe the Plumber". Please welcome Matt Ringgenberg. And he's a random person we picked up off the set of Judge Judy. Here's Ian Smith.



(audience cheers)



Greg: All right. Gracias. Ian, you are a random guy. The contestant that was supposed to be here had something come up, so we were short a contestant. We went next door to another soundstage here at Sunset Bronson, where they tape Judge Judy. Now, Ian, were you a litigant or an extra in the audience?

[Deleted]

Well, I'm just a member of the audience.

[palmer7]

Ah, so you were sitting in the courtroom just watching Her Honor make fools out of people. How is the old dame anyway, Judge Judy, I mean?

[Deleted]

I have no idea, Greg.

[palmer7]

All right. Good luck to you tonight. Matt, I understand you've become quite popular. People are calling you the next "Joe the Plumber". Why?

[mringgenberg]

I have no idea.

[palmer7]

I don't know either, but it's happening. Do you consider yourself an ideal representative of the middle-class American working man?

[mringgenberg]

I think so.

[palmer7]

We'll leave it at that.


Michelle: I should be leaving now. $20 to start, buena suerte y hasta luego.

(the board initializes)

(Michelle exits)


Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $20



Greg: All right. Now, considering there are two Ians that both have last names beginning with S, we're going to refer to the challenger as Ian S. and the champ as Ian. All right? Here we go.


1. For whom is Hadassah, the Jewish women's organization, named?
2. Starting with "F", what artistic technique requires painting watercolors directly onto wet plaster?
3. What inventor was known as the "Wizard of Menlo Park"?
4. What links Catalonia, Andalusia, Cantabria, and Galicia?
5. What actor is best known for the roles of Cousin Oliver, Choji, and Stuffy?


(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. For whom is Hadassah, the Jewish women's organization, named?
(buzzcode: 62)
*Ian buzzes in (10)*
Ian?
Ian: Esther
Correct and you draw first blood.
(ding)



Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $25


2. Starting with "F", what artistic technique requires painting watercolors directly onto wet plaster?
(buzzcode: 30)
*Ian buzzes in (44)*
Ian?
Ian: Fresco
Right you are, and you go to $30.
(ding)



Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $30



3. What inventor was known as the "Wizard of Menlo Park"?
(buzzcode: 67)
*Ian buzzes in (73)*
Ian for the hat trick?
Ian: Thomas Edison
And he gets the hat trick!
(ding)



Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $35


4. What links Catalonia, Andalusia, Cantabria, and Galicia?
(buzzcode: 38)
*Ian buzzes in (89)*
Ian?
Ian: Spain
More information, please.

[Deleted]

Regions of Spain, you mean?

[palmer7]

That's what we wanted to hear. They're all regions of Spain.
(ding)


Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $40



5. What actor is best known for the roles of Cousin Oliver, Choji, and Stuffy?
(buzzcode: 72)
*Ian buzzes in (53)*
Ian for a sweep?
Ian: Robbie Rist
Right.
(ding)


Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $45




[INSTANT BARGAIN]



That sound means it's time for an Instant Bargain. The player in the lead can buy bargain merchandise...... and at the network's request, here is Bill Clinton!


(we find Bill Clinton playing "Heartbreak Hotel" on the sax)




(the audience goes wild, many of them holding signs that read "Clinton for President" and making the same pumping, whirling motion with their raised fists)



Michelle: Would you like to run for public office? Well, Mr. Clinton won the election largely because he played saxophone on The Arsenio Hall Show. And if you want to do what he did, then you'll need this tenor saxophone. The Yamaha YTS-26 Tenor Saxophone combines state-of-the-art production expertise with design elements of Yamaha professional and custom saxophones. The result is an entry-level instrument that delivers the response, intonation and tone needed to help developing musicians achieve success. Furnished by Yamaha. Plus, we're including $1,000 for private lessons! It's normally priced at....


$3,627


But it's yours on $ale of the Century for only....


$5


(audience cheers as I join them)


Greg: That's it, folks, I'm changing my name to Arsenioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hall. (audience laughs) There's a joke I've just thought of, but the FCC would kill me. Bill Clinton! What are you doing here?


Bill: Well, Greg, you had Donald Trump on your show before, right?

Greg: Yeah.

Bill: Well, as you said, the network wanted to give equal time to the other party. And the way I figure it, I won one election by blowing my horn. Maybe I can do it again for my wife.


Greg: Ah, so you're finally thinking about your wife. Good. (to Ian) Now, Mr. Sherman, do you have any interest in music? Or politics?

[Deleted]

Well, I value democracy as much as the next twentysomething, but music—that's where my tastes really get eclectic.

[palmer7]

Ah yes, well, you can be as eclectic as you want with this tenor sax. And I must admit, in the hands of a professional, it does sound good. Now, I'm offering $1,000 cash for private lessons. You can have all of this for $5. You have a $25 lead. What do you say?

[Deleted]

I'm sold!

[palmer7]

He's going to buy! (audience cheers as Pres. Clinton applauds)



Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $40



(I walk back to my lectern) We take the $5 off his score, and Ian still has a $20 lead over Ian S. and Matt. Back with these questions.



1. Whose tombstone bears the inscription "That's All Folks"?
2. What US state's National Guard still calls itself "the Green Mountain Boys"?
3. What is the first month comprised of 30 days?


(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. Whose tombstone bears the inscription "That's All Folks"?
(buzzcode: 88)
*Matt buzzes in (35)*
Matt?
Matt: Mel Blanc
(in a Porky Pig impression) That's corre-re-re--re, right!
(ding)


Ian S.: $20
Matt: $25
Ian: $40


2. What US state's National Guard still calls itself "the Green Mountain Boys"?
(buzzcode: 30)
*Matt buzzes in (48)*
Matt?
Matt: West Virginia
(wrong)
You'd think that, but no. Vermont. You lose $5 for that.



Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $40



3. What is the first month comprised of 30 days?
(buzzcode: 70)
*Ian buzzes in (25)*
Ian?
Ian: April
April is right. You go to $45!
(ding)


Ian S.: $20
Matt: $20
Ian: $45



[FAME GAME]



Well, we've got a $10 Money Card going up on the board, and Ian S. and Matt, you could both use it. Looking for a famous person.



I was born on September 23, 1949, at Monmouth Medical Center in Long Branch, New Jersey. My last name is topographic and of Dutch origin. I attended the St. Rose of Lima Catholic school in Freehold Borough, where I was at odds with the nuns and rejected the strictures imposed upon me, even though some of my later music reflects a Catholic ethos and includes a few rock-influenced, traditional Irish-Catholic hymns. I transferred to a public high school, but felt so uncomfortable that I skipped my own graduation ceremony. Called for induction when I was 18, I failed my physical examination and did not serve in Vietnam. In the late 1960s, I performed briefly in a power trio known as Earth, playing in clubs in New Jersey. I acquired my famous nickname-slash-title during this period; when I played club gigs with a band, I took on the task of collecting the band's nightly pay and distributing it amongst my bandmates. When I signed a record deal with Columbia Records in 1972, I brought many of my New Jersey–based colleagues into the studio with me, thus forming my world-famous band.


(buzzcode and answer, please)

[palmer7]

(buzzcode: 97)
*Ian buzzes in (91)*
Ian?
Ian: "The Boss" himself—Bruce Springsteen

That's right! (audience cheers) And before that, his nickname was "Doctor".


Where's that $10 Money Card, Michelle?

[tmann3x]

Michelle: Behind number 8.