$ale of the Century [NBC]: Episode 44 [TOC Final: Part 1]

[palmer7]

All right, so here are the three people who are playing.


Jon Darrall
James Greek
Steven Anderson



This is how the two-game final will work:
* We play a full game this episode (three rounds, Speed Round). The highest-scorer at the end of Game #1 wins a trip. There will be no Ten-In-a-Row.
* Next episode, we give each player a new $20 and play another full game. After the Speed Round of the second game, the scores from the first game are added to the scores of the second game (think Jeopardy!'s 2-day tournament finals). Third place takes home an additional $50,000; 2nd place gets $100,000; and first place wins the cruise, the car, a million dollars, plus an opportunity to win more.


So, will Jon, James, and Steven please check in?

[Deleted]

Checking jn!

[asja2002]

Signing in!

[jmdarrall]

I'm ready! Good luck, Steven and James.

[palmer7]

All right. Here we go.

---

(from an On Demand Recording)


(we find Greg at his lectern wearing casual clothes)


Greg: Hi, there. This is an On Demand recording. That means Fast Forward and other remote functionality may be inactive or turned off during the playing of this presentation. In other words, you can't fast forward. I know, I do it, too. Don't worry, I'll try to make it worth your while. It doesn't have to be all commercials. Sometimes having a captive audience is fun.

---

---

(drumroll, as we get a shot of the darkened set, the boxes of our nine contenders pop in one by one, filling in the screen.)


Shadoe Stevens: (VO) This is the $ale of the Century Tournament of Champions. Nine of our biggest money winners are back to compete for cash and prizes worth.... over $2,000,000!


Our finalists are.... Jon Darrall, James Greek, and Steven Anderson!





[MAIN THEME]


This week, our contestants will win trips to Zurich, South Africa, Moscow, and Hong Kong! And one of them will win the grand prize....







This Porsche Panamera Turbo S Executive, a cruise around the world, and $1,000,000 in cash! It's Game 1 of the Finals of......




(echo)








And now, here's the star of the show, Greg Palmer!



(the doors open and I run to my lectern to cheers and applause)



Greg: Thank you, Shadoe Stevens! Thank you very much. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and a most cordial welcome to $ale of the Century's Tournament of Champions. This is it, folks. A big night. A big night, the first of two big nights here on NBC. This is the first game of our two-game final. And as always, here is Stacey Wren!

(Stacey comes in wearing a very hot dress, to cheers and applause)



Greg: Hello again.


Stacey: G'day, Greg.


Greg: Well, this is a big night.


Stacey: I know. I know. Tomorrow night, someone could walk away with a lot of money. But do you want to know what I'm more excited about?


Greg: What?


Stacey: We've got Ed Sheeran, Ellie Goulding, and Niall Horton in the Green Room! (the fangirls go insane in the audience)


Greg: No kidding. Well, we should explain that in lieu of a Ten-in-a-Row round, these three singers will delight us with a three-way duet that will surely be a hit. The single will be released the day this airs, which is today! And you'll get to hear it right here on $ale at the end of the show. But first, we've got a game to play. Shadoe, would you please introduce tonight's champs?



(as Shadoe introduces them, the contestant doors open and models of the opposite gender escort them to their seats)


Shadoe: (VO) I'd be glad to, Mr. Palmer. First, from Plymouth, Massachusetts, with a total of a total of $141,673, here's Steven Anderson. Next, he's a test preparation instructor from Greenville, SC with a total of $87,984. Here's Jon Darrall. Finally, our last champion is from Elba, Alabama, and has a total of $71,058. Say howdy to James Greek.


(cheers and applause)

Greg: Howdy, James Greek. Let's say hello to everyone. James, the last we saw you, you'd added considerably to your total. What would you do with a million dollars... and what do you want to say to the audience now?

[Deleted]

First off I am happy to be here, I never thought I'd make it! As for what I would do with a million bucks, I'd use it to go to broadcasting school and if I win the trip, I'd bring my special friend from Italy Ila with me! Hi Ila!

[palmer7]

Hi, Ila. Maybe you'll win a door prize or something.... hold up, did you say "special friend"? (getting interested) How special is she?

[Deleted]

Very special to me. It's not every day a pretty girl,tells me I'm sexy and we met last week.

[palmer7]

Well, maybe you two can get married if you win the million. We'll have it right here, if you'd like. Good luck to you.

Steven Anderson, from Plymouth, Mass. Last we saw you, you'd won the CashCard, the Ten-in-a-Row, and you were accompanied by a group of Playmates. What would you do with a million dollars, and what do you want to say to the audience now?

[asja2002]

Maybe take the Playmates to dinner? (Laughs)
No seriously I'd love to buy a house for myself. My grandmother would love to take a break from the cranberry bogs and having the cash would let me focus on that as well as my party business. I'd like to say hi to everyone back home watching on WHDH in New England. And to my drama teacher, Mark Goddard, played Mjr. West on Lost in Space.. Thanks for everything

[palmer7]

Yes, thank you, Mr. Goddard. Good luck to you, it looks like you're well on your way to that. And you'll be getting at least $50,000 out of this. Again, good luck.


Finally, Jon Darrall. You were on our last show, and it was quite a horserace, if I recall correctly. What would you do with a million dollars, and what do you want to say to the audience now?

[jmdarrall]

First of all, it's good to be back, and I want to say hi to everyone back in WYFF country! As for the million, I'd probably save a good chunk of it, live a happy fulfilling life, like my grandparents would want. Also, if I win the cruise, I'm taking my mother...she's been through so much already this year, and I feel she deserves it.

[palmer7]

(audience awwwws)


Awwww, isn't that sweet? That is sweet, so considerate of you. What *has* your mother gone through this year, if I may ask?

[jmdarrall]

Her mother's passing.

[palmer7]

Oh, so your grandmother died. I can feel your pain, bro. One of my grandmothers died years ago. Good luck to you.

Now, here's how this two-game match will work. We'll play a normal game. Tomorrow night, we'll play a second game. We'll add the two scores up. Third place gets $50,000; second place gets $100,000. And first place wins the cruise, the car, $1,000,000 in cash, and a chance to win even more. One item of housekeeping, the highest-scorer at the halfway point, or the end of this first game, will get a trip to Zurich. (audience cheers) However, there will be no Ten-In-A-Row tonight. We're giving that 50-large to our three performers tonight.


Any questions? Any answers? (beat) Anybody need to go to the bathroom before we begin? HA! Trick question, the Contestant Coordinator made sure you all went before we started taping! Stacey, you have the honors.



Stacey: Thank you. $20 starting money, good luck.


(the board initializes)



James: $20
Steven: $20
Jon: $20



(Stacey exits)


Greg: Bye. See you later. (to the contesti) OK, guys. I want a good clean fight. No rabbit punches, and nothing below the belt. Here we go, round 1.


1. What classic movie's title character's first and middle names were Charles Foster?
2. What type of shadow portraits are named for a former French finance minister?
3. What does the "c" in the equation e=mc^2 stand for?
4. What musical tells the story of a group of young artists struggling to survive in New York?
5. Give me the name of the French national anthem whose melody is heard here.

(audio plays)


(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. What classic movie's title character's first and middle names were Charles Foster?
(buzzcode: 15)
*James buzzes in (41, 1st to respond)*
James?
James: Citizen Kane
Yes, and "Rosebud" was the name of his sled. You draw first blood.
(ding)


James: $25
Steven: $20
Jon: $20



2. What type of shadow portraits are named for a former French finance minister?
(buzzcode: 28)
*James buzzes in (53)*
James?
James: Sihlouettes
That's right, and you go to $30.
(ding)


James: $30
Steven: $20
Jon: $20



3. What does the "c" in the equation e=mc^2 stand for?
(buzzcode: 74)
*Jon buzzes in (41)*
Jon?
Jon: A constant representing the speed of light
Yes, sir. You go to $25.
(ding)


James: $30
Steven: $20
Jon: $25



4. What musical tells the story of a group of young artists struggling to survive in New York?
(buzzcode: 53)
*Steven buzzes in (40)*
Steven?
Steven: Rent
That is correct, and you go to $25.
(ding)


James: $30
Steven: $25
Jon: $25



5. Give me the name of the French national anthem whose melody is heard here.
(buzzcode: 6)
*Steven buzzes in (29)*
Steven?
Steven: La Marseillaisse
That's correct, and you're tied for first.
(ding)


James: $30
Steven: $30
Jon: $25



[INSTANT BARGAIN]


That means it's time for an Instant Bargain. Player in the lead can buy bargain...... well, you know the rest. We have a tie between James and Steven. Gentlemen, only one of you can have this. When you hear the low $ale of the Century price, buzz in and the prize is yours. Now, modeling this prize is our announcing initiate, the one, the only, D'Shadoe! (Shadoe walks up on stage to cheers and applause)





[SECRET SQUARE PRIZE MUSIC]
(the lights dim as Shadoe shows off the watch)

And he is wearing a watch. And it's lovely. (going into my best "sexy" Shadoe impression) The Zenith El Primero Flyback Automatic men's watch. It comes with a stainless steel case with a black rubber strap, a black uni-directional rotating bezel, a silver dial with silver and red-tone hands and index hour markers, and minute markers around the outer rim. The movement is automatic, it comes with anti-reflective scratch resistant sapphire crystal, and is made in Switzerland. Furnished by.... Zenith. And it's normally priced at....


$10,000


But is yours on $ale of the Century for only...


$6


(audience cheers as the lights come back on) So, how'd I do, Mr. Stevens?


Shadoe: Don't quit your day job.


(audience laughs)


Greg: Right. And now, Shadoe Stevens will walk among the two of you and show you the watch. (he does so) Go ahead, take a good look at it. Shadoe, you might want to take off the watch so they can really look at it. Now I'm not going to sell this to you for six bucks. No sir. I want you to make me an offer. Make me an offer, gentlemen. What's the highest you'd be willing to go?

[asja2002]

The value of 1 question perhaps? $5

[palmer7]

Saaaaaaaaay, that is an idea. $5. The value of a question. Go for it, man! Hit the buzzer.

[palmer7]

That is, if you want it.

[asja2002]

I want it(hits buzzer)

[palmer7]

And he's going to buy. (audience cheers)



[SALE SURPRISE]
(audience screams)


And there's a $ale Surprise, too! (I run over to Shadoe's booth and pick up a book) Steven, you've won a book. 






And this is a very special book, it's a new, signed, coffee-table sized, Collector's Edition Boxed Set edition of The Big Galoot. Shadoe, why don't you tell us about it?


Shadoe: Well, Greg, it's a book I wrote in the style of Dr. Seuss. This is a great story for kids about how it's alright to be an individual and how it's not alright to take your aggression out on someone who's different than you because you never know what they have to offer. Now, I signed this, and I want everyone to have autographed copies of this book.


(audience cheers)


Greg: It's a very nice book indeed, and this copy is particularly special because it has a bookmark in it. (I pull out the "bookmark" and examine it) Oh, I'm sorry.... this isn't a bookmark. This is a check! It's made out in the amount of $2,460! (audience cheers) Now now, only Steven gets the check. So, Steven, we'll take the $5 off your score.




James: $30
Steven: $25
Jon: $25




(I walk back to my lectern) That's $12,500 in watch, book, and cash right there, and this is just the first segment. Shadoe, you may return to your desk. Shadoe Stevens, everyone! (audience cheers)



James, you're still in the lead. Back to these questions.


1. Who wears the "Pescatorio", or Ring of the Fisherman?
2. When standing in sunlight, what vitamin does your body synthesize?
3. In 1990, which former British Prime Minister secured the release of 3 hostages held in Iraq?


(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. Who wears the "Pescatorio", or Ring of the Fisherman?
(buzzcode: 82)
*James buzzes in (90)*
James?
James: The Pope
That's exactly who wears it, and you extend your lead.
(ding)


James: $35
Steven: $25
Jon: $25



2. When standing in sunlight, what vitamin does your body synthesize?
(buzzcode: 81)
*James buzzes in (86)*
James?
James: Vitamin K
(wrong)
Oh no, Vitamin D. Vitamin D3 to be exact. You go back down to $30. Sorry.



James: $30
Steven: $25
Jon: $25




3. In 1990, which former British Prime Minister secured the release of 3 hostages held in Iraq?
(buzzcode: 27)
*Jon buzzes in (20)*
Jon?
Jon: Margaret Thatcher?
(wrong)
Sir Edward Heath, actually. You go down to $20.



James: $30
Steven: $25
Jon: $20



[FAME GAME]


James leads by $5, but we're adding a $10 Money Card to the board. Every dollar is important. Famous person we're looking for.



I was born April 4, 1965 in Manhattan, New York City, New York to two thespian parents. My father, a drug addict, allowed me to use marijuana at age six, an incident which my father has said he now regrets. In my own words: (quote) "When my dad and I would do drugs together, it was like him trying to express his love for me in the only way he knew how." (close quote) I had minor roles in my father's films as a child. I made my acting debut at the age of five, playing a sick puppy in the absurdist comedy Pound, and then at seven appeared in the surrealist Greaser's Palace. At the age of ten, I was living in England and studied classical ballet as part of a larger curriculum. In 1982, I dropped out of Santa Monica High School and moved back to New York to pursue an acting career full-time. I began building upon theater roles, including in the short-lived off-Broadway musical American Passion at the Joyce Theater in 1983, produced by Norman Lear. In 1985, I was part of the new, younger cast hired for Saturday Night Live, but following a year of poor ratings and criticism of the new cast's comedic talents, I was replaced, along with most of my associates. I am sometimes named as a member of the Brat Pack. I played Julian Wells, a drug-addicted rich boy whose life rapidly spirals out of his control, in the film version of the Bret Easton Ellis novel Less Than Zero. In 1992, I earned an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor at the Academy Awards' 65th ceremony for my role as Charlie Chaplin. Due to my notable drug addictions, producer Joel Silver withheld 40 percent of my Gothika salary until after production wrapped.


(buzzcode and answer, please)

[palmer7]

(buzzcode: 88)
*Steven buzzes in (79)*
Steven?
Steven: Robert Downey Jr.
That's right. And he's currently starring in Captain America: Civil War. Good movie, by the way. Stacey, where's the $10?

[tmann3x]

Stacey:  It's behind number 3.

[palmer7]

(lights in motion)




Greg: You could take the lead outright if you hit that Money Card. Good luck, and you may fire when ready. (a letter from A-I, please)

[asja2002]

C'mon big money Now!! (H)

[tmann3x]

[palmer7]

(he stops)


Misses and stops at #7. What have we got for him, Shadoe?

[tmann3x]

[palmer7]

["Lurker"]





Shadoe: (VO) An HDTV! Enjoy a picture with vivid detail with this Samsung 60-inch 4K Ultra HD 60Hz LED HDTV. With a true 16:9 aspect ratio, view your movies the way that the director intended. This wall-mountable HDTV comes with a digital tuner to catch your favorite broadcast channels. From Samsung!


(audience cheers)


Greg: Congratulations, Steven. That TV's worth $1,698. Doesn't help your score any, but a nice prize anyway. This game is just getting heated up. We'll be back right after this!


(main theme to commercial)
(cheers and applause)
(fade to commercial)

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---

(In a nod to Hee Haw, Greg, dressed like a country hick, stands there holding a scythe. Blake Shelton, also dressed like a hick, stands with his back to the viewer holding a pitchfork.)


Greg: (singing)

Now when we got married for time and et'rnity,
I really thought you were the right choice.
But now I see that I was mistaken,
For you ran right off with that guy from The Voice.



(Greg nudges Blake with his elbow, as a form of slapstick timing, whereby Blake spins around to the camera to join him on the chorus)


Greg/Blake: (singing):

Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over, and I thought I'd found true love,
You met another, and PFFT! You was gone!



THE VOICE
Mondays and Tuesdays 8/7c

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(fade in)

(shot of the audience clapping along with the "Mexican Hat Dance")


(audience cheers)


Greg: We're not going to get the Super Bowl for a few more years, so why not? Welcome back, this is round 2 of game 1. And the crowd is getting excited. During the break, they did the wave. Los Angeles audiences are the best in the world.



James: $30
Steven: $25
Jon: $20




James is leading on $30, Steven at $25, and Jon is at $20. Back with the questions.


1. What was the name of Paul and Jamie’s dog on the TV show Mad About You?
2. Who was the Greek god of the sea?
3. Who voiced Shaggy on Scooby Doo, Where Are You??
4. In what Australian state would you find Port Pirie?
5. What was Barbra Streisand’s character’s occupation in the movie Meet the Fockers?



(buzzcodes and answers, please)