$ale of the Century [NBC]: Episode 36

[palmer7]

John Lopez has $471 in his bank. Who wants to challenge him?

[Deleted]

I do.

[palmer7]

Thanks, we need one more.

[Deleted]

Checking in.

[hodders]

I'll fill the other vacancy.

[palmer7]

Thank you. The show will start later tonight.

[palmer7]

---

(fade in)
(drumroll)
(shot of John Lopez)


Pete Smith: (VO) This is our returning champion, John Lopez of Titusville, Florida. Stand by to see John play for a Maserati Quattroporte GTS, valued at $148,700!


[OPENING THEME]






Tonight, on America's biggest bargain sale, we're offering a Maserati valued at $148,700 for $530!



All the prizes plus a cash jackpot of $925,000 for $750!



Two of the incredible bargains on.....






(echo)







And now, the man with the keys, Greg Palmer!



(the doors open, and I run to my lectern to cheers and applause)



Greg: Thank you, Peter. Thank you very much. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is the Sale. We've loaded everything up, new prizes, same champion. John Lopez! (audience cheers) Hiya, John. Welcome back to our show. What'd you do this weekend?

[Deleted]

Not a whole lot, studied, watched Ash vs. Evil Dead.

[palmer7]

It's been such a long time since I've seen a decent episode of Pokemon. What did he use to finish Evil Dead off? (Evil Dead and horror fans in audience laugh)

[Deleted]

Wrong Ash.

[palmer7]

(I look "surprised") But that can't be possible. You said Ash vs. Evil Dead. Oh well. You've got $471, you need $59 or more and the win for that Maserati. Here to introduce the challengers is Stacey Wren!


(Stacey walks in from behind the Fame Game board to cheers and applause)


Hello, Stacey. So, for those who missed it, how many people did you fit in that suite?


Stacey: 44. We even managed to get pizza delivered. It was fantastic.


Greg: I bet it was. Did you set a world record?


Stacey: No, but maybe next time.


Greg: All right. Who do you have for us tonight?


(as Stacey introduces the contestants, the doors open and models escort them to their seats)


Stacey: Well, first, he's a high school math teacher with a degree in meteorology. From Huntington, West Virginia, meet Joe Emerson. And he's an aspiring accountant who was once Head of Afternoon Programming at his college's radio station. From Manchester, England, here's Sam Hodkin! (audience cheers)


Greg: Well, that's all very interesting. Thanks, Stace. Let's get to meet these nice people. Sam Hodkin, you were once Head of Afternoon Programming at your college's radio station. Tell us all about it.

[hodders]

Well it basically entailed dealing with students who were away or too busy/intoxicated to come in and do their shows. Nowadays I'm involved in community radio, as well as being on the board of said radio station.

[palmer7]

Fascinating. What's your station's format? Is it CHR, oldies, AC....?

[palmer7]

Hello? Sam?

[hodders]

[Back in action after a busy weekend!]

Daytime tends to be a combination of talk and CHR, with the evenings being more specialist.

[palmer7]

All right. Well, we happen to have a number of lyric-based questions every so often. Maybe that will help. Good luck to you.


And Joe Emerson, you have a degree in meteorology but you're a high school math teacher. How did that happen?

[Deleted]

Well, as fate would have it, my state offers a program for people with certain college degrees to get teacher certification in critical areas. As my major required lots of math, I was eligible to get teacher certification in math. This is my 8th year of teaching, and it's still one of the best decisions I ever made.

[palmer7]

Well that's very nice. However, I must say that you look like you have the face of a TV meteorologist. There's at least one network I can think of that doesn't have a weather person on their morning news show. Would you be interested in the job if given the opportunity?

[Deleted]

Thank you. I love teaching; don't get me wrong. However, I would definitely show interest if given that opportunity.

[palmer7]

Well, maybe we can talk with the Eye after the show. Good luck to you. And good luck to John.



Stacey: Good luck, guys. $20 to start.


(the board initializes)



Sam: $20
Joe: $20
John: $20




(Stacey walks off)


Greg: Thanks, Stace. All right, round 1, everyone. Let's go!


1. Billie Thomas was better known as "Buckwheat" in what long-running series of movie shorts?
2. What Boy Meets World actor's character repeatedly referred to everyone as "Buckwheat" on Wiseguy?
3. What Somerset village was the birthplace of Britain's most famous cheese?
4. What does the anti-drunk driving acronym MADD stand for?
5. Last week, Larry David earned $5,000 on Saturday Night Live for shouting what phrase during the opening monologue?


(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. Billie Thomas was better known as "Buckwheat" in what long-running series of movie shorts?\
(buzzcode: 42)
*Sam buzzes in (43)*
Sam?
Sam: Our Gang
That's right, and you have first blood.
(ding)


Sam: $25
Joe: $20
John: $20



2. What Boy Meets World actor's character repeatedly referred to everyone as "Buckwheat" on Wiseguy?
(buzzcode: 69)
*John buzzes in (29)*
John?
John: William Russ
You're right, and we now have a two-way tie.
(ding)


Sam: $25
Joe: $20
John: $25



3. What Somerset village was the birthplace of Britain's most famous cheese?
(buzzcode: 69)
*Sam buzzes in (91)*
Sam?
Sam: Cheddar
Smiling like a Cheshire cat at that one. You're right.
(ding)


Sam: $30
Joe: $20
John: $25



4. What does the anti-drunk driving acronym MADD stand for?
(buzzcode: 95)
*Joe buzzes in (60)*
Joe?
Joe: Mothers Against Drunk Driving
Yes, sir. You go to $25.
(ding)


Sam: $30
Joe: $25
John: $25



5. Last week, Larry David earned $5,000 on Saturday Night Live for shouting what phrase during the opening monologue?
(buzzcode: 66)
*Sam buzzes in (74)*
Sam?
Sam: Racist
Um.... more information, please.

[hodders]

"You're a racist", aimed at Donald Trump?

[palmer7]

(ding)


We'll accept it.


Sam: $35
Joe: $25
John: $25



Say, how'd all of you like to make $5,000 each right now? (audience cheers) Then you all know what to say. All together now!


(I direct the cast, crew, and audience like a choir)


Everyone: DONALD TRUMP'S A RACIST!


Greg: Very good.


[INSTANT BARGAIN]


Instant Bargain time, and Sam is in the lead by $10 over the other two. Sam, Stacey has this for you.



(Dr. Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina "make out" on this sectional)





Stacey: Sam, you may not be the president, or even be eligible to run for office, but you'll feel like an elected official on this sectional. This transitional sofa set is made for contemporary elegance and masterpiece. Black leather upholstery gives this a transitional feature that blends in with most contemporary settings. With some deviation from the standard sofa framework, each piece is uniquely designed to pop-out from any living room space. This sectional sofa includes a leather wrapped coffee table and two foot rests. Furnished by VIG Furniture. It's normally priced at...


$2,799


But tonight on $ale of the Century, it's yours for only....



$5



(audience cheers)


Greg: Perhaps.... perhaps I should explain something, ladies and gentlemen. These people, indeed, are Dr. Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina, late of Hewlett-Packard. Ever since NBC gave Donald Trump 12 minutes and five seconds of airtime, we figured we'd do the same thing. So Mitch and Shannon are taking the week off and these two will be taking their place. They won't get to say anything, they'll just get some airtime. (audience laughs) Believe me, it was the network's idea, not mine.


Now, Sam..... Now, Sam, are you interested in this sectional?

[hodders]

Early days, but..

[Presses Buzzer]

[palmer7]

He's going to buy! (audience cheers, as do Carly and Dr. Carson, I walk back to my lectern)


We knock the $5 off your score....


Sam: $30
Joe: $25
John: $25



Gives you $30. A one-question lead over Joe and John. Back with these.


1. What desert gets its name from the Arabic word meaning “desert”?
2. What does the word "honcho" mean in Japanese?
3. In video games, who are the Mario Brothers usually trying to save from the clutches of Bowser?


(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. What desert gets its name from the Arabic word meaning “desert”?
(buzzcode: 18)
*Joe buzzes in (19)*
Joe?
Joe: Sahara
Sahara is right, Joe's met up with Sam.
(ding)



Sam: $30
Joe: $30
John: $25



2. What does the word "honcho" mean in Japanese?
(buzzcode: 80)
*Joe buzzes in (47)*
Joe?
Joe: boss
Boss, leader, anything of that sort. Joe's taken the lead!
(ding)



Sam: $30
Joe: $35
John: $25


3. In video games, who are the Mario Brothers usually trying to save from the clutches of Bowser?
(buzzcode: 11)
*Sam buzzes in (19)*
Sam?
Sam: Princess Peach
And after 30 years, they still haven't done it. You go to $35.
(ding)



Sam: $35
Joe: $35
John: $25



[FAME GAME]


Time for the Fame Game. Players are going for control of the Fame Game Board, which could be important for John. Looking for a famous thing.


I am one of two major ancient Greek epic poems attributed to Homer. I am considered fundamental to the modern Western canon, and am the second oldest extant work of Western literature. I mostly focus on the hero and his journey home after the fall of Troy. Many scholars believe that I was composed in an oral tradition by an aoidos (epic poet/singer), perhaps a rhapsode (professional performer), and was more likely intended to be heard than read. I was written in dactylic hexameter and begin in medias res. All ancient and nearly all modern editions and translations of me are divided into 24 books. In 2008, scientists Marcelo O. Magnasco and Constantino Baikouzis at Rockefeller University used clues in me and astronomical data to attempt to pinpoint the time of my hero's return from his journey after the Trojan War.


(buzzcode and answer, please)

[palmer7]

(buzzcode: 29)
*Joe buzzes in (34)*
Joe?
Joe: The Odyssey
That is right. I am The Odyssey. Well done.


Stacey, where's the $10 Money Card?


(lights in motion)




Stacey: Behind the number one.


Greg: We've got the lights locked into your buzzer, Joe. You could pull into the lead. Good luck, and fire when ready. (a letter from A-I, please)

[Deleted]

C'mon $10 money carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd NOW! (G)

[palmer7]

(he stops)





He misses and stops at #7. What's behind #7, Pete?





Pete: (VO) $3,500 in cash!



Greg: That's Pete Smith, Australia's answer to Johnny Gilbert. We'll be right back.




(main theme to commercial)
(cheers and applause)
(fade to commercial)

---

(fade in)
(main theme closes, cheers and applause)


If you've heard the news, and I'm sure you have, NBC is going to be putting on yet another live Broadway musical on television. This time, it's The Wiz, and Cirque du Soleil is getting involved.




Pete: (VO) Thank God we don't have problems like that in Australia!


Greg: You may be eating your words, Mr. Smith. Watch for it December 3rd on NBC, right after our show. Anyway, now that that obligatory plug is over, let's get back to the game.




Sam: $35
Joe: $35
John: $25



The champ is trailing by $10, but the game is still young as we begin round 2.


1. What object fell over when Armstrong and Aldrin blasted off from the moon?
2. What did football's Portsmouth Spartans become when they moved to Michigan in 1934?
3. Starting with "P", what term is given to a plant that lives more than two years?
4. What Jewish holiday saw Egypt and Syria attack Israel in 1973?
5. What was the nickname of Tom Cruise's fighter pilot character in Top Gun?

(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. What object fell over when Armstrong and Aldrin blasted off from the moon?
(buzzcode: 93)
*Sam buzzes in (47)*
Sam?
Sam: The American flag
That's right. That means the next time we go back, that flag will have to be burned.
(ding)



Sam: $40
Joe: $35
John: $25



2. What did football's Portsmouth Spartans become when they moved to Michigan in 1934?
(buzzcode: 98)
*Joe buzzes in (66)*
Joe?
Joe: Detroit Lions
That's right.
(ding)



Sam: $40
Joe: $40
John: $25



Why don't you check your buzzer, champ?


*John buzzes in*


It's working. Just wanted to make sure.


3. Starting with "P", what term is given to a plant that lives more than two years?
(buzzcode: 22)
*Joe buzzes in (35)*
Joe?
Joe: Perennial
Correct, sir.
(ding)



Sam: $40
Joe: $45
John: $25


4. What Jewish holiday saw Egypt and Syria attack Israel in 1973?
(buzzcode: 92)
*John buzzes in (44)*
John?
John: Yom Kippur
That's right, and the champ goes to $30.
(ding)



Sam: $40
Joe: $45
John: $30



5. What was the nickname of Tom Cruise's fighter pilot character in Top Gun?
(buzzcode: 45)
*Sam buzzes in (24)*
Sam?
Sam: Maverick
That's right, and you go to $45.
(ding)



Sam: $45
Joe: $45
John: $30




[INSTANT BARGAIN]



Instant Bargain, and we have a tie. Double Sale time. Sam and Joe, only one of you can have this. Buzz in when you hear the low $ale of the Century price, and this could be yours.


(Dr. Carson is enjoying this arcade system)




Stacey: Sam and Joe, even presidential candidates need some down time, and nothing sharpens your reflexes like this arcade system. This is the full-sized, upright console that houses 130 classic Atari, Stern, and Taito arcade games including Asteroids, Centipede, Missile Command, Tempest, and Golden Tee Fore! Complete--the world's most popular golf video game. The console is made in the U.S. by the world-renowned Chicago Gaming Company, experts in arcade games for over 30 years. A crisp Wells Gardner 25" monitor reproduces all visual details. Furnished by Hammacher Schlemmer. It's normally priced at...


$4,000


But our price is only....


$9


(audience cheers as Dr. Carson looks up from his game and I join them)


Greg: Well well, an arcade console. That's wonderful. Now, Dr. Carson, how much money did you put in the machine?


Dr. Carson: Absolutely nothing. The coin door was disabled.


Greg: Very good. Now, gentlemen, as you know, John is going for the car, so I'd really like to sell this to you. You both have a $15 lead over him. We're starting at $9..... let's drop it to $7. Anyone want to buy for $7?