Post by billmcdee on Jun 19, 2015 3:23:57 GMT -5
For those of you who like to celebrate the 4th of July, you may wish to stop reading here at this first line.
This post is a catharsis for me. I joined Big Jon's back in 2007. I've made some very good friends here, to the point that a great many of you are like a second family to me, and I feel comfortable enough in sharing some things about yours truly, especially during this time of year.
I first want to thank Cameron for his recent post in the Vacation thread. That served as an inspiration and a stepping stone for me to share a more serious side of myself with you all.
Although I have a tremendous sense of humor, and love to make people laugh, I also have a much more serious and somber side, especially during this time of year.
With the passing of my mother in 2001, Mother's Day proves to be a very bittersweet holiday for me every year. And there is a reason why the word bittersweet begins with the word bitter.
The anniversary of her passing was on June 9th of 2001. She was 65.
Thankfully she did not live long enough to have to witness the ultimate terror and horror of the September 11th attacks on our nation.
When I got the call from my wife to turn on the TV, and I sat there dumbfounded, speechless and totally numb from the events unfolding before my very eyes, the first thing I said out loud to myself was "I'm so glad mom didn't live long enough to witness this." In the same breath I said "I wish my mother was here right now." And I was 34 years old at the time no less, a grown man.
The last Monday of May is Memorial Day here in the United States. The intention of the holiday is to take time to remember and reflect upon the countless numbers of military personnel who died while in the line of duty to preserve, protect and defend our liberty and our freedom. Although I never served in the military myself, my Dad and my uncles did serve. Thankfully they did not die in combat, although my one uncle was scarred for life as he was a VietNam combat veteran.
It really bothers me, troubles me, and depresses me when, on Memorial Day night, I will hear fireworks. To me, Memorial Day is a day of remembrance, to honor the fallen. Yes it is the unofficial start of summer, and I do not begrudge anybody taking time to enjoy going to the beach, or attending parades, or family barbecues. It's just in my opinion, very distasteful and disrespectful and completely inappropriate to have fireworks on Memorial Day.
This Sunday, June 20th, in the United States, and I imagine elsewhere, we celebrate Father's Day. This is another very bittersweet holiday for me. Father's Day 1978 was the last one where my Dad was still alive. I was 11 at the time. June 18th, 1978, exactly 37 years and one day ago. His health issues with his heart were already beginning.
"The 4th of July" is called that much more now than Independence Day anymore. My parents were married on July 4, 1964. They were married exactly 14 years and 11 days as on July 15, 1978, my father died from a massive MI (myocardial infarction), or in layman's terms, a heart attack. Just as I saw the Twin Towers collapse right before my eyes on my television screen, I saw my Dad collapse right in front of my very eyes in person.
Had they both lived, my Dad would have been 80 this year, and my mother 79. While those are not young, those are certainly reasonable ages for people to still be alive in this day and age. Every 4th of July makes me miss them as that was their wedding anniversary. Last year was particularly emotional for me as it would have been their 50th anniversary.
I grew up in a suburb of Trenton, New Jersey. We could walk to one of the main streets of our township and take in the parade every year. Afterward, we would all assemble, usually at my favorite aunt's house, for a cookout, and wiffle ball. Sadly, my aunt passed away in 2007, and a great many others who I spent Independence Day holidays with have either died, or are no longer in my life, and that adds to my sorrow over Independence Day. What's worse, my son never got to experience those great memories as I had with my parents, my aunt, uncle and cousins.
We live in a country now where more and more illegals are being taken care of by our government, which in turn is funded by those of us who are still gainfully employed, Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public. It is difficult if not impossible for me to be able to celebrate America being an independent country when the amount of dependence from the Federal government seems to be at an all time high, both for legal and a growing population of illegal people.
And in spite of recent technological advances made with respect to fracking and domestic oil production, our dependence on foreign oil, coupled with the insurmountable financial debt we have with China and other nations, only adds to my inability to be able to celebrate the thought of our country being independent.
Cameron shared in his post about a 20 year old man being killed in a car accident. That triggered this "blog" if you will from me, and for that I am actually grateful. During the early morning hours of July 5, 1986, my 20 year old cousin, who I was close with, was killed as a result of a drunk driver. This of course is yet another reason why the 4th of July holiday is one of the most depressing holidays for me.
My wife, in her infinite wisdom, the past 2 summers and again this summer, has made vacation plans for us to be out of town during the 4th of July weekend. I feel it necessary to call it the 4th of July weekend as it seems a misnomer to refer to it as "Independence" Day anymore.
July 15th will be the 37th anniversary of the sudden death of my father.
Selfishly, I also get blue during the summer because having been out of school now for 30 years, I've not had a summer off in quite a while.
Cameron, I read about your recent dismissal from your job. It sounds like it was completely unexpected and unfair. This week at a meeting in my office, I learned that my position, one I've held since March 1999, could once again be in jeopardy, thus adding and contributing to my June swoon as it were.
So I share all this with you as a way to help myself out, to give you a better idea that there's much more to me than merely the game show host portion that you all see, and to give you some serious food for thought with regard to certain holidays, how I feel about them, and why I feel as I do. I am very grateful however for still having the liberty, the freedom, and the independence to be able to exercise my first right amendment of free speech, and to be able to share these thoughts, feelings, and a mini history of myself with those of you who care enough to take the time to read it all, and perhaps comment.
If for no other reason than those brave men and women who died to preserve, protect and defend our freedom, I will try better to embrace and celebrate the 4th of July, and I'll try to remind people that its actual name is "Independence Day", just as for so many, I try to remind them that without Christ, there is no Christmas, only mas.
And truthfully, God wants us to depend on Him always. We seldom if ever do perhaps. During uncertain and uneasy times in my life, such as this one, I am reminded that none of us are truly independent. We are all dependent upon others in our lives, but most of all dependent upon our creator.
I thank you for allowing me to open up this way. And I thank you all for being blessings in my life that I can count, and that I can depend upon.
Now looking back over the years
And what ever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn't understand, why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart
So badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally
Gilbert O' Sullivan - Alone Again
Humbly,
Bill
This post is a catharsis for me. I joined Big Jon's back in 2007. I've made some very good friends here, to the point that a great many of you are like a second family to me, and I feel comfortable enough in sharing some things about yours truly, especially during this time of year.
I first want to thank Cameron for his recent post in the Vacation thread. That served as an inspiration and a stepping stone for me to share a more serious side of myself with you all.
Although I have a tremendous sense of humor, and love to make people laugh, I also have a much more serious and somber side, especially during this time of year.
With the passing of my mother in 2001, Mother's Day proves to be a very bittersweet holiday for me every year. And there is a reason why the word bittersweet begins with the word bitter.
The anniversary of her passing was on June 9th of 2001. She was 65.
Thankfully she did not live long enough to have to witness the ultimate terror and horror of the September 11th attacks on our nation.
When I got the call from my wife to turn on the TV, and I sat there dumbfounded, speechless and totally numb from the events unfolding before my very eyes, the first thing I said out loud to myself was "I'm so glad mom didn't live long enough to witness this." In the same breath I said "I wish my mother was here right now." And I was 34 years old at the time no less, a grown man.
The last Monday of May is Memorial Day here in the United States. The intention of the holiday is to take time to remember and reflect upon the countless numbers of military personnel who died while in the line of duty to preserve, protect and defend our liberty and our freedom. Although I never served in the military myself, my Dad and my uncles did serve. Thankfully they did not die in combat, although my one uncle was scarred for life as he was a VietNam combat veteran.
It really bothers me, troubles me, and depresses me when, on Memorial Day night, I will hear fireworks. To me, Memorial Day is a day of remembrance, to honor the fallen. Yes it is the unofficial start of summer, and I do not begrudge anybody taking time to enjoy going to the beach, or attending parades, or family barbecues. It's just in my opinion, very distasteful and disrespectful and completely inappropriate to have fireworks on Memorial Day.
This Sunday, June 20th, in the United States, and I imagine elsewhere, we celebrate Father's Day. This is another very bittersweet holiday for me. Father's Day 1978 was the last one where my Dad was still alive. I was 11 at the time. June 18th, 1978, exactly 37 years and one day ago. His health issues with his heart were already beginning.
"The 4th of July" is called that much more now than Independence Day anymore. My parents were married on July 4, 1964. They were married exactly 14 years and 11 days as on July 15, 1978, my father died from a massive MI (myocardial infarction), or in layman's terms, a heart attack. Just as I saw the Twin Towers collapse right before my eyes on my television screen, I saw my Dad collapse right in front of my very eyes in person.
Had they both lived, my Dad would have been 80 this year, and my mother 79. While those are not young, those are certainly reasonable ages for people to still be alive in this day and age. Every 4th of July makes me miss them as that was their wedding anniversary. Last year was particularly emotional for me as it would have been their 50th anniversary.
I grew up in a suburb of Trenton, New Jersey. We could walk to one of the main streets of our township and take in the parade every year. Afterward, we would all assemble, usually at my favorite aunt's house, for a cookout, and wiffle ball. Sadly, my aunt passed away in 2007, and a great many others who I spent Independence Day holidays with have either died, or are no longer in my life, and that adds to my sorrow over Independence Day. What's worse, my son never got to experience those great memories as I had with my parents, my aunt, uncle and cousins.
We live in a country now where more and more illegals are being taken care of by our government, which in turn is funded by those of us who are still gainfully employed, Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public. It is difficult if not impossible for me to be able to celebrate America being an independent country when the amount of dependence from the Federal government seems to be at an all time high, both for legal and a growing population of illegal people.
And in spite of recent technological advances made with respect to fracking and domestic oil production, our dependence on foreign oil, coupled with the insurmountable financial debt we have with China and other nations, only adds to my inability to be able to celebrate the thought of our country being independent.
Cameron shared in his post about a 20 year old man being killed in a car accident. That triggered this "blog" if you will from me, and for that I am actually grateful. During the early morning hours of July 5, 1986, my 20 year old cousin, who I was close with, was killed as a result of a drunk driver. This of course is yet another reason why the 4th of July holiday is one of the most depressing holidays for me.
My wife, in her infinite wisdom, the past 2 summers and again this summer, has made vacation plans for us to be out of town during the 4th of July weekend. I feel it necessary to call it the 4th of July weekend as it seems a misnomer to refer to it as "Independence" Day anymore.
July 15th will be the 37th anniversary of the sudden death of my father.
Selfishly, I also get blue during the summer because having been out of school now for 30 years, I've not had a summer off in quite a while.
Cameron, I read about your recent dismissal from your job. It sounds like it was completely unexpected and unfair. This week at a meeting in my office, I learned that my position, one I've held since March 1999, could once again be in jeopardy, thus adding and contributing to my June swoon as it were.
So I share all this with you as a way to help myself out, to give you a better idea that there's much more to me than merely the game show host portion that you all see, and to give you some serious food for thought with regard to certain holidays, how I feel about them, and why I feel as I do. I am very grateful however for still having the liberty, the freedom, and the independence to be able to exercise my first right amendment of free speech, and to be able to share these thoughts, feelings, and a mini history of myself with those of you who care enough to take the time to read it all, and perhaps comment.
If for no other reason than those brave men and women who died to preserve, protect and defend our freedom, I will try better to embrace and celebrate the 4th of July, and I'll try to remind people that its actual name is "Independence Day", just as for so many, I try to remind them that without Christ, there is no Christmas, only mas.
And truthfully, God wants us to depend on Him always. We seldom if ever do perhaps. During uncertain and uneasy times in my life, such as this one, I am reminded that none of us are truly independent. We are all dependent upon others in our lives, but most of all dependent upon our creator.
I thank you for allowing me to open up this way. And I thank you all for being blessings in my life that I can count, and that I can depend upon.
Now looking back over the years
And what ever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn't understand, why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart
So badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally
Gilbert O' Sullivan - Alone Again
Humbly,
Bill
