$ale of the Century [NBC]: Episode 25

[palmer7]

So far, Michael Clifford has $220 in his bank. All he needs is another $40 for those cufflinks, and another $115 for the boat. Who wants to challenge him?


Additionally, I'm starting a poll that will run throughout the entire week. If you've been watching $ale on GSN, you'll know they've switched to The Winner's Board. Should I do the same? And if so, what rules should I use? The poll will lock at midnight next Saturday. 

[Deleted]

*makes an imaginary check mark with my index finger*

Checking in!

[koopakid17]

I'll play!

[Deleted]

I'll play too. How many games do I have to sit out?

[palmer7]

One more in your case, James. By the way, did you all vote on the poll?

[Twentington]

Can I just say how surprised I am by the results right now? I really like the shopping, it rewards a player that does well in the main game.

[palmer7]

Feb 22, 2015 1:25:36 GMT -5 Twentington said:

Can I just say how surprised I am by the results right now? I really like the shopping, it rewards a player that does well in the main game.

If memory serves me right, you went for the Super Lot and lost, Evan. You see, when shopping, there's always that element of risk involved. The Winner's Board offers a guaranteed prize for every win. 

[palmer7]

In the meantime, Kevin is cleared to play. Anyone else?

[palmer7]

(bump)

[palmer7]

Does anyone else want to play?

[mringgenberg]

If nobody else responds later, I'll try again.

[palmer7]

You just played last episode, Matt. But tell you what. I'm going to make you a contestant coordinator. I want you to go find someone and convince them to play. It'd be a huge solid. Can you do that?

[mringgenberg]

I'm up for the challenge.

[palmer7]

Very good. Go to it, my man!

[CCSCO]

Well, I'm trying again, hoping I'll do better than last time.

[palmer7]

Thank you, Clement (and Matt, I assume). Showtime will begin later tonight.

[palmer7]

---

(drumroll)
(shot of Michael Clifford)


Charlie Tuna: (VO) This is our returning champion Michael Clifford, from Marlton, New Jersey. Stand by to see him play for gold cufflinks, valued at $15,915!


[OPENING THEME]





Today, on America's biggest bargain sale, we're offering a pair of Acura RLXs valued at $115,740 for $530!



All the prizes, plus a cash jackpot of $870,000 for $750!



Two of the incredible bargains on......




(echo)






And now, here's the casual star of our show...... Greg Palmer!


(the doors open and I run to my lectern, this time wearing jeans and a polo shirt)



Greg: Thank you, Charlie Tuna. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our show. If you haven't guessed already, it's Casual Friday on $ale of the Century. I'm not wearing a suit. In fact, the only suit I'm wearing is my birthday suit, but I like layers. (pause) Make of that what you will. We have a fine returning champion with us. He's fine. He's superb. He's Michael Clifford! (audience cheers) Welcome back, Michael. How are you doing today?

[Deleted]

I am awesome today, Greg!

[palmer7]

Glad to hear it. You have $220 in your bank, so a win today with just $40 would give you those cufflinks Charlie mentioned at the top of the show. If you won with $115, you would win a new boat worth over $32,000. So are you ready to go?

[Deleted]

I am indeed ready!

[palmer7]

Good. Here to introduce the challengers is...... (I read the name on the card) Charlie Sheen!?!



(as the Two and a Half Men theme plays, Charlie walks out to cheers and applause)







This is a joke, right?


Charlie: No, bro. Me not making the finale of my own show is a joke. Casual Friday is a joke. Your wardrobe is a joke.


Greg: Don Rickles isn't dead yet, buddy. And he insults people better than you. Anyway, what brings you and your bowling shirt here?


Charlie: NBC wants to give me a pilot, so they put me on this show to test audience reaction. Don't screw this up for me, OK?


Greg: Whatever. (to the audience) This really is Casual Friday, folks. (back to Charlie) Who are our contestants, Mr. Estevez?


(as Charlie introduces the contestants, the doors open and models of the opposite gender escort players to their seats)


Charlie: (unenthusiastically) First, he's an accountant who enjoys video games and writing in his spare time. From Long Island, New York, please welcome Kevin Kolsen. And he's a sportsman who also likes game shows from Angers, France, please welcome Clément Couvreur. (audience cheers) I'm outta here. (he leaves)



Greg: And if you try any of that "winning" with my models, I'll personally make you a half-man! You behave yourself! (back to the contestants) Sorry about that. Let's get to know our players. Clément, you are from Angers, France. Your card says you like sports and game shows, but do you have any other interests?

[CCSCO]

I like many other board games, card games. Other than recreation, I follow politics and economics.

[palmer7]

Oh, politics! That's interesting. What do you consider yourself, a Republican or a Democrat?

[CCSCO]

If I lived in America, I'd certainly be a Democrat. You know, in France, we have healthcare for everybody for 70 years, so it's always hard to imagine America has not, or doesn't want.

[palmer7]

(some Democrats in the audience cheer) 


Oh, well you see, I'm a Republican, so you lose. I kid, I kid. Good luck to you. We'll discuss this in more detail with a contestant coordinator in front of both of us. 


Kevin! You're an accountant. What kind of accounting do you specialize in?

[koopakid17]

My area is more focused on tax, particularly right now as we're approaching April 15th. I handle personal returns and audits for corporate returns.

[palmer7]

Ohhhhhhhh, taxes. Everything is on the level, then, I assume?

[koopakid17]

For now, it is. It's manageable for now but come early April, I'll most likely be a zombie.

[palmer7]

Well aren't we glad we caught you while you're still among the living? Good luck to you, Kevin. I wish all three of you good luck, or bonne chance as the case may be, as we start each of you off with $20.


(the board initializes)





Kevin: $20
Clément: $20
Michael: $20




All right, Round 1. Let's see how long this works out. Can you guys imagine Charlie Sheen hosting this show? (mixed reactions) I didn't think so. Oh, and just a heads up, the winner of this game will have a big decision to make. Here comes the first question.


1. What member of The Commodores wrote at least one chart-topping song for a record nine straight years?
2. What ancient country gave the world porcelain?
3. What U.S. federal service has the largest civilian fleet of autos in the world?
4. What church did Henry VIII create when the Pope refused to give him a divorce in 1534?
5. Which Smoky and the Bandit star did Charlie Sheen replace as the voice of Charlie Barkin in All Dogs Go to Heaven 2?


(buzzcodes from 1-100 and answers via PM, please)

[palmer7]

1. What member of The Commodores wrote at least one chart-topping song for a record nine straight years?
(buzzcode: 93)
*Michael buzzes in (82)*
Michael?
Michael: Lionel Richie
That's correct, and you draw first blood.
(ding)


Kevin: $20
Clément: $20
Michael: $25


2. What ancient country gave the world porcelain?
(buzzcode: 82)
*Kevin buzzes in (77)*
Kevin?
Kevin: Mesopotamia
(wrong)
They also call porcelain "China" because that's where it comes from. China. You lose $5, go to $15. Sorry about that.



Kevin: $15
Clément: $20
Michael: $25


3. What U.S. federal service has the largest civilian fleet of autos in the world?
(buzzcode: 17)
*Michael buzzes in (78 )*
Michael?
Michael: the United States Postal Service or USPS
Very good. You go to $30.
(ding)



Kevin: $15
Clément: $20
Michael: $30


4. What church did Henry VIII create when the Pope refused to give him a divorce in 1534?
(buzzcode: 55)
*Clément buzzes in (49)*
Clément?
Clément: The Anglican church
That's showing up as correct on my screen. It's also called the Church of England. You're at $25.
(ding)



Kevin: $15
Clément: $25
Michael: $30


5. Which Smoky and the Bandit star did Charlie Sheen replace as the voice of Charlie Barkin in All Dogs Go to Heaven 2?
(buzzcode: 56)
*Kevin buzzes in (45)*
Kevin?
Kevin: Burt Reynolds
Interestingly enough, Burt could sing, Charlie can't. That's right, and you go back to $20.
(ding)



Kevin: $20
Clément: $25
Michael: $30



[INSTANT BARGAIN]



That sound means it's time for an Instant Bargain. When that happens, the player in the lead.... well, you know the rest. Michael, you've got a $5 lead, $30 to spend, and Charlie Sheen strikes again!


(Charlie, wearing sunglasses, stands by the wheel, while three female models in swimwear are in the middle of a Twister game)


Charlie: OK, ladies. Here we go again! (he spins the wheel) Right foot yellow. (the girls move their right feet to yellow)


Greg: We're on, Sheen!




Charlie: Oh. Sorry about that. I was just hosting a little game of my own. I play this all the time at orgies, and now you can play it too. This game challenges up to 10 players to touch different colored dots on a playing surface using only their hands and feet. Based on the popular game that originated in the 1960s, and built by a company that only manufactures products for the amusement industry, the inflatable 18 oz., double-stitched vinyl 15' x 15' playing mat is comprised of 64 colored dots arranged in eight rows of eight dots each. An included 24" diameter, 3'-high wheel spun at the beginning of each turn indicates which hand or foot players are to use and what color dot to touch. But you already knew that. Furnished by Hammacher Schlemmer. And since I'm such a nice guy, I'll throw in $500 for, eh heh, suitable attire for your guests. This prize is normally priced at....


$2,500


But today, it's yours for only....


$5