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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 5, 2019 21:19:04 GMT -5
Nice to have you here with us from Iowa. Good luck to you, today.
Good luck also to James. James, please tell us about you.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2019 9:59:18 GMT -5
I am unemployed and disabled from Eastern Lower Alabama
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 6, 2019 15:52:34 GMT -5
We have Iowa playing against Alabama here on Match Game. Players, here on Match Game, you'll have three attempts to match as many... ...of these members of the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes Lodge No. 26 -- (scattered laughter from crowd as Doug catches breath) -- as you possibly can. Each match pays $100. Match 'em all and we'll kick in an extra $400. High scorer collects $500 more -- and then challenges our returning champion on Hollywood Squares for tens of thousands more. (audience cheers; Doug pushes button on toaster revealing Round 1 questions) And the winner *there* plays the Super Match for a possible $100,000 payoff. (more cheers) So, Matt, you won the right to go first. Do we start with Question A or Question B? |
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Post by mringgenberg on Oct 6, 2019 16:07:26 GMT -5
B
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 6, 2019 20:30:15 GMT -5
(grabs B; walks to panel) B it shall be and we're off and running. (scans card) Goodness gracious. This isn't a question; it's a book. (scattered laughter from crowd) Hang in there folks; here it comes. John Cena said, "Our worst nightmare in the classroom has come true. Dumb Dora missed all of her questions and won no money on 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' I knew we were in trouble when she thought Mike BLANK was Vice President of the United States."(scattered laughter from crowd) (think music plays) |
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Post by tmann3x on Oct 7, 2019 11:40:34 GMT -5
I didn't realize John Cena was a game show host.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 7, 2019 19:48:16 GMT -5
Yeah, he won the job after the producers were scared what John would do if he *didn't* land the gig. (scattered laughter from crowd) Matt, they're ready. Here's the novella one more time. John Cena said, "Our worst nightmare in the classroom has come true. Dumb Dora missed all of her questions and won no money on 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' I knew we were in trouble when she thought Mike BLANK was Vice President of the United States." |
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Post by mringgenberg on Oct 7, 2019 20:15:42 GMT -5
Tyson?
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Post by tmann3x on Oct 7, 2019 22:06:51 GMT -5
(as Regis): Final answer?
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Post by mringgenberg on Oct 7, 2019 22:07:04 GMT -5
Yes
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Post by billmcdee on Oct 8, 2019 4:41:43 GMT -5
Matt, I must say that answer is a real knockout!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 8, 2019 19:22:32 GMT -5
[NOTE FROM DOUG: Dumb Douglas is so dumb, your host accidentally deleted PMs from most of the panel. So, with the exception of Bill, I'm having to make up a transcript on the fly.]
(scattered laughter from crowd) Doug: And now we rejoin Match Game and compare answers. Just about any famous Mike would work. Kevin, we'll start with you. Kevin: I don't know about a first round knockout here -- but I do have a first round match. (ding; audience applause)Doug: Tyson. That's $100 already for you, Matt. Bill, do you make it two bills? Bill: Okay so my answer is a clever joke in two ways. (card) I wrote Mike Myers -- as he is a Canadian actor, ineligible to be V.P., but also in time for Halloween, Mike as in Michael Myers. (buzz) (scattered laughter and applause from crowd) Bill: I am glad Jamie Lee Curtis is not on the panel or she would have screamed and killed our audio guy's ears. (more laughter) Doug: How true. Steven, what say ye? Steven: Whether it's Tommy from "The Gong Show" or the evil-doer from "Halloween"... (buzz) (scattered applause from crowd) Doug: More Myers -- but let's see if we get more Tysons as we visit Tony. John Cena said, "Our worst nightmare in the classroom has come true. Dumb Dora missed all of her questions and won no money on 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' I knew we were in trouble when she thought Mike BLANK was Vice President of the United States."Tony: Coming back with an upper-cut... (ding; audience applause)Doug: All right -- another match for Matt. Mark, do you make it three? Mark: Fights in Washington. What else is new? (ding; audience applause)Doug: Three matches -- unusual for a Round 1 question. Jon, are ya makin' it four? Jon: (shakes head) I was thinking of some other Mike who fought in another ring. (buzz) (scattered applause from crowd) Doug: Ah, from WWE SmackDown on some other network. Doug: Wow -- halfway home to a perfect score already. James, keep the faith. Maybe you'll be just as fortunate with the next question.
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 8, 2019 19:36:43 GMT -5
(grabs A; walks to panel) Now -- let's hope this next question doesn't take half an hour to read. (scans card) Eh -- we're good. Horace the Hoosier said, "Things really are strange in Hawkins, Indiana. Instead of 'Walk/Don’t Walk', the pedestrian signals in the city say, 'BLANK/Don’t BLANK'." (scattered laughter from crowd) (think music plays) |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 9, 2019 19:45:13 GMT -5
(Steven takes out card, writes new answer, places in slot) Steven having a last minute change of heart. So we're all set. James, question again. Horace the Hoosier said, "Things really are strange in Hawkins, Indiana. Instead of 'Walk/Don’t Walk', the pedestrian signals in the city say, 'BLANK/Don’t BLANK'." |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2019 4:25:00 GMT -5
I got this! I am a big fan of Stranger Things! Run/Don’t run!
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 11, 2019 7:01:07 GMT -5
(audience applause) Doug: Run/don't run -- especially if a strange creature is following you. Wonder if the creature would obey the signal. (scattered laughter) Let's compare answers starting with Kevin. Kevin: I suppose they're all Pacer fans down there. (buzz) (scattered laughter from crowd) Doug: Foul -- uh, I mean -- no match. Bill, what did the pedestrian signals say? Bill: The sign said... (buzz) (scattered laughter from crowd) Doug: Years ago, I used to work with a fella named Jay Walker -- and I asked if he got arrested for jay walking. (scattered laughter) He liked the pun, actually. Steven? Steven: (card) Run/don't run. (ding; audience applause) Doug: And there's a match for James as we come on down and visit Tony. Horace the Hoosier said, "Things really are strange in Hawkins, Indiana. Instead of 'Walk/Don’t Walk', the pedestrian signals in the city say, 'BLANK/Don’t BLANK'." Doug: Do you join in the running? Tony: It takes some baby steps to understand that question. (crawl) (buzz) (a few groans and boos) Doug: That might be for a creature from the Upside Down. Ya never know in Hawkins. Mark? Mark: (card) (buzz) (louder groans and boos) Doug: (shakes head) Moving right along. Jon, please end this round for us. Jon: Strip, don’t strip? (shrugs shoulders, laughs) Hawkins is the setting for “Stranger Things,” so I said... (buzz) (scattered laughter) Doug: All kidding aside, I've actually met a couple of the young cast members of "Stranger". They play bullies -- but they're good kids in real life. (audience applause) Doug: I tried to book 'em as guests -- and suggested clips from the original series be used in an episode. We'll see if that happens. Here we've got a good game going -- 300 to 100. Round 2 starts after this. (theme plays; audience applause)
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Post by tmann3x on Oct 11, 2019 14:42:16 GMT -5
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 11, 2019 18:27:55 GMT -5
(audience cheers) And we're back. (Doug pushes button on toaster revealing Round 2 questions) Matt, you're leading $300 to $100. So that gives you the right to pick Question A or Question B. |
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Post by mringgenberg on Oct 11, 2019 19:42:03 GMT -5
B
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 11, 2019 22:10:27 GMT -5
(Doug grabs B) B it is -- and three stars will be playing this question. Bill, Steven, and Jon. The rest of you will veg. For years, ESPN has covered the World Series of Poker. Not to be outdone, ESPN 8: The Ocho has already secured the rights to cover next year's World Series of BLANK. (audience laughs and applauds) (think music plays)
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 12, 2019 19:25:55 GMT -5
Okay, they're ready. Matt, I'll repeat the question. For years, ESPN has covered the World Series of Poker. Not to be outdone, ESPN 8: The Ocho has already secured the rights to cover next year's World Series of BLANK.
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Post by mringgenberg on Oct 12, 2019 20:00:15 GMT -5
Bullfighting
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Post by tmann3x on Oct 13, 2019 9:13:28 GMT -5
GILBERT GOTTFRIED: You fool!
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Post by billmcdee on Oct 13, 2019 9:18:26 GMT -5
(as Groucho)...
I'm a bullfighter...only because my wife happens to be a Taurus...
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 13, 2019 19:49:56 GMT -5
(as audience boos) Doug: This might've worked if we talked about the early days of ESPN2, as it tried to attract a college-aged audience. Don't this is gonna work on ESPN8. Bill, we start with you. Bill: Well since it is ESPN 8, the logical answer to me would be... (buzz) (audience cheers) Doug: There ya go. That and something analogous to Poker. Steven? Steven: Well since the movie came out to bad reviews, I originally said World Series of (multiple cards not in slot) Joker starring Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker also starring Robert DeNiro. (scattered laughter from crowd) Steven: Here's the real one 'cause I said... (buzz) (audience cheers) Doug: From Joker to Dodgeball. And Jon? Jon: What else? The movie that originated the ESPN Ocho gimmick... (buzz) (audience cheers) Doug: More Dodgeball but no bullfighting. Doug: Score remains 300 to 100. James, don't give up hope. Chance to even the score -- or perhaps take the lead. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2019 19:56:28 GMT -5
Ready when you are
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 13, 2019 20:01:42 GMT -5
(Doug grabs A; walks to panel) And five people play James' question. Steven, you match James earlier -- so you'll lay out. The rest of you, please respond to this. Beverly Hills, California, is so ritzy...Audience: HOW RITZY IS IT?!?!?!... even the BLANKS are made of gold. (audience laughs and applauds) (think music plays) |
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Post by tmann3x on Oct 14, 2019 17:36:59 GMT -5
And Kevin has less than 3 hours to PM his response... |
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Post by dougmorrisontheair on Oct 14, 2019 21:49:53 GMT -5
Kevin looks like he's finishing up... ...and they're set. James, here's the question again. Beverly Hills, California, is so ritzy, even the BLANKS are made of gold. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2019 5:48:07 GMT -5
Streets
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