MATCH GAME/HOLLYWOOD SQUARES HOUR [NBC] - Episode 18

[jlastergolf]

Hey Tony!

[redrangerdude]

HIIIIIII!!!!!

[asja2002]

[We're here to have fun]
[And make a good match]
[All while giving away]
[NBC's cold cash]

[palmer7]

Card Gag:


[NEW YEAR,
LESS GILBERT?]


[tmann3x]

Jan 7, 2018 14:54:34 GMT -5 palmer7 said:

Card Gag:


[NEW YEAR,
LESS GILBERT?]


GILBERT (in the audience area):  YOU FOOL!

[dougmorrisontheair]

Well, what d'ya say we get the show on the road -- and let the games begin!

(audience cheers) (Doug and Tony shake hands; Tony goes to his seat on panel; Doug meets MG challengers at his desk)

And keep cheering for Nels Snesrud and David Barkow.

(more cheers)

Nels, please tell us something about yourself. Where are you from and what do you do?

[nelson17]

I'm 35 I'm a cashier at target I'm a bowler and I'm a game show fan

[dougmorrisontheair]

Well, great to have you here on our game. Good luck to you today. Good luck to you, too, David. Please tell us something about yourself.

[gameboy2000]

I am unemployed from Virginia.

[dougmorrisontheair]

Well, may you find great and rewarding work soon.

Again, good luck, players. Here in Match Game, you'll have three chances to match as many ...

...of these representatives from the Cleveland Browns front office as you possibly can.

(scattered laughter from the crowd)

Each star you match means money in your pocket. And there are incentives for a perfect score and winning the game.

Of course, the player who's matched more stars go on to play the champ in Hollywood Squares. Winner there plays our Super Match -- for a chance at winning more than $100,000.

(more cheers; Doug presses button on toaster revealing Round 1 questions)

Nels, we'll let you go first. Would you like Question A or Question B?

[jlastergolf]

*holds up card*

GO SAINTS!

[nelson17]

I'll take a
Go vikings

[jlastergolf]

*testing* my notifications are lagging

[dougmorrisontheair]

(Bump for Nels)

[jlastergolf]

He responded A Doug

[nelson17]

I'll take A please

[dougmorrisontheair]

Sorry. Misread the take of A with the "Go Vikings". This sort of thing happens when you get old. Question coming shortly.

[jlastergolf]

*holds card* Take 3!

[dougmorrisontheair]

(grabs A; walks to panel)

Starting with A -- let's see if it's a very good place to start. Panel, here comes the first question.

Confucius say, "Woman who live with horse should have BRANK handy."

(audience laughs) (think music plays)

[palmer7]

(submits answer) So, Doug..... Stacey, Burton, and I are going to the Olympics. Want to come with?

[nelson17]

BRANK should it been blank?

[dougmorrisontheair]

Nels, when Confucius say "BRANK", he really means "BLANK". That's the way Confucius speak, you see.

[tmann3x]

And we're waiting on Lenny's PM response...

[redrangerdude]

Already sent it!

[palmer7]

You see, it's not offensive when Doug does it because he's white. If an actual Chinese person were to read that as Confucius, we'd be all over social media. Or do I have that backwards?

[dougmorrisontheair]

Annnnnnd they're set. Nels, let's see if you can get on the board first. Remember, this is Confucius talking. He's got his way of saying "blank".

Confucius say, "Woman who live with horse should have BRANK handy."

[nelson17]

saddle

[palmer7]

(a randy audience including a randy Randy West let out a giant "whoooooooooooooooooooooo")

[dougmorrisontheair]

Doug: Confucius say -- mind of young grasshopper must be brank. (scattered laughter from the crowd) Well -- we'll compare answers. You never know from these folk. Jonathan, we start with you.

Jonathan: If I remember that err was an old song. Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, (card) HAY HAY, Good-Bye!

(audience laughs and applauds) (buzz)

Greg: That's the song we sing to the losers on this show.

Jonathan: Hey I’m getting a head start

Doug: Either way, we'll pay a royalty. Greg?

Greg: Some men are a lot like horses. They're full of a certain four-letter word.

(audience laughs) (buzz)

Doug: So's my ex-girlfriend -- (scattered woahs) -- who's jealous she's not getting alimony from me.  (more woahs)  Onnn we go to Lenny.

Lenny: Why can't horses clean up after themselves?

(scattered laughter; applause) (buzz)

Doug: Another shovel -- but no saddle as we visit Tony.

Confucius say, "Woman who live with horse should have BRANK handy."

Tony: What the hey?! Oh... I get it.

(scattered applause) (buzz)

Doug: Hay and shovel seem to be the winning answers so far. Sam, anything new to the table?

Sam: No comment, (flips card)

(scattered applause) (buzz)

Doug: And still no match. Steve, wrap this half of the round up for us.

Steve: Not to put the cart before the horse, so to speak. One should have a (card) shovel ready.

(scattered applause) (buzz)

Doug: Shovels and hay but no saddles.

Doug: Welp -- no score for you, Nels. Better luck in the next round. Let's see what kind of luck David has with his question.

[dougmorrisontheair]

(Doug grabs B; walks to panel)

All right, let's see what kind of fun we can have with this.

I have a TV Guide listing. Monday night, BBC America, "Doctor Who". The Doctor has regenerated into a woman. But wait -- there's more. The Daleks have regenerated into BLANKS.

(audience laughs) (think music plays)