$ALE IN IMAX [NBC]: Episode 65 [TOC2 Final Part 2]

[palmer7]


[__CHOPPED____] [___CHERRY____] [____TREE_____]

[_____AND_____] [___CROSSED___] [___DELAWARE__]


(ding)
(audience cheers)

Exactly right, Evan. George Washington! He chopped down a cherry tree and crossed the Delaware River. However, new evidence shows that Washington did not actually chop down a cherry tree. That story was invented by one of Washington’s first biographers, an itinerant minister and bookseller named Mason Locke Weems. Interesting stuff.

Stacey, where's the $25?

[tmann3x]

Stacey:  It's behind number 9.

[palmer7]

(lights in motion)


Greg: OK, Evan, you've got a $1 lead over Steven. There are three Money Cards up on the board. You may make it. You may not, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here. Look around. Who ever thought you'd make it this far? $10, $15, $25. Take your best shot. I believe in you, Evan. Win or lose. Fire when ready. (an unused letter from A-I)

[Twentington]

Once more with feeling, here we go! Here we go, big bucks, big bucks aaaaaaaand STOP!

(F)

[tmann3x]

[palmer7]

(he stops)

Stop at $15!

(fanfare)
(camera flashes between Evan and $15 Money Card)
(cheers and applause)

We add that to your score.....


Patseen: $45
Steven: $50
Evan: $66


And all of a sudden, you have a $16 lead over Steven. Will that hold? Only time will tell. The Million Dollar Speed Round is next.

(main theme to commercial, cheers and applause, fade to commercial)

---

["IMAX Experience"]

Stage Manager: And clear. (movement happens on the stage; suddenly, the phone in the lectern rings, I answer it)

Greg: Hello? (pause) Mr. Stark wants to know my---- I already told him, medium in everything except boxers. Those are large. OK. (Stacey gives me a questionable look, I cover the mouthpiece) Get your mind out of the gutter, Stacey. (back to the phone) Sorry, Stacey was--- My co-host. (Stacey looks very happy to hear that) And what kind of nickname is "Happy" anyway? (pause) Well, at least it's not something stupid like "Dopey". Yeesh..... (pause) Right, Mr. Hogan, now's not a good time. (pause) Oh, you want to talk to Stacey? OK. (I pass the phone to Stacey) His name's Happy. (I exit)

---

(fade in, the lights have dimmed)

Greg: Welcome back. As you can see, we've dimmed the lights. Dramatic lighting means it's about to get real. This is it, folks. The Million Dollar Speed Round. In 10 questions from now, we'll total up the scores from last night's match and tonight's match. Third place gets $50,000. Second place gets $100,000. First place wins a million dollars and the most expensive car ever offered on network television. We have Guinness to prove it. All right. May I have 10 questions on the clock?

(ding)



Patseen: $45
Steven: $50
Evan: $66

[10]


All right. The scores: Evan at $66, Steven at $50, and Patseen at $45. Audience, I want absolute silence. These people are playing for a lot of money. Everybody inhale...... (they do) and exhale. (they do) Focus. (five seconds of silence) Very good. Good luck to you all...... we begin the Speed Round...... now!


1. What is the only Canadian province whose borders form a rectangle?
2. What term for an adult male gorilla comes from a distinctive patch of hair?
3. How was the country of Belize known prior to 1973?
4. The "Harappan Civilization" is also known by what other name?
5. What vowel sports a tittle when it isn't capitalized?
6. In what city and state is the headquarters for the cable network ESPN?
7. Washington's famous crossing of the Delaware was en route to what Revolutionary War battle?
8. What is the only US state with four consecutive consonants uninterrupted by spaces?
9. Which Bond actor portrayed King Philip II of France in The Lion in Winter?
10. Which book begins with the words "It was five o'clock on a winter's morning in Syria"?

(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. What is the only Canadian province whose borders form a rectangle?
(buzzcode: 88)
*Evan buzzes in (45)*
Evan?
Evan: Saskatchewan
Correct!
(ding)


Patseen: $45
Steven: $50
Evan: $76

[9]



2. What term for an adult male gorilla comes from a distinctive patch of hair?
(buzzcode: 7)
*Steven buzzes in (41)*
Steven?
Steven: Silverback
Correct!
(ding)


Patseen: $45
Steven: $60
Evan: $76

[8]



3. How was the country of Belize known prior to 1973?
(buzzcode: 4)
*Evan buzzes in (63)*
Evan?
Evan: British Honduras
Right!
(ding)


Patseen: $45
Steven: $60
Evan: $86

[7]



4. The "Harappan Civilization" is also known by what other name?
(buzzcode: 71)
*Evan buzzes in (61)*
Evan?
Evan: The Indus Valley Civilization
Right you are.
(ding)


Patseen: $45
Steven: $60
Evan: $96

[6]


5. What vowel sports a tittle when it isn't capitalized?
(buzzcode: 36)
*Steven buzzes in (50, 1st to respond)*
Steven?
Steven: " i "
Correct.
(ding)


Patseen: $45
Steven: $70
Evan: $96

[5]



6. In what city and state is the headquarters for the cable network ESPN?
(buzzcode: 77)
*Patseen buzzes in (80)*
Patseen?
Patseen: Bristol, Connecticut!
Correct!
(ding)


Patseen: $55
Steven: $70
Evan: $96

[4]


7. Washington's famous crossing of the Delaware was en route to what Revolutionary War battle?
(buzzcode: 41)
*Steven buzzes in (26)*
Steven?
Steven: Battle of Trenton
Yes!
(ding)


Patseen: $55
Steven: $80
Evan: $96

[3]



8. What is the only US state with four consecutive consonants uninterrupted by spaces?
(buzzcode: 49)
*Patseen buzzes in (35, 1st to respond)*
Patseen?
Patseen: New Hampshire!
Correct!
(ding)


Patseen: $65
Steven: $80
Evan: $96

[2]




9. Which Bond actor portrayed King Philip II of France in The Lion in Winter?
(buzzcode: 9)
*Evan buzzes in (49)*
Evan?
Evan: Timothy Dalton
Right!
(ding)


Patseen: $65
Steven: $80
Evan: $106

[1]



10. Which book begins with the words "It was five o'clock on a winter's morning in Syria"?
(buzzcode: 31)
*Patseen buzzes in (49)*
Patseen?
Patseen: Murder on the Orient Express?
Yes.
(ding)


Patseen: $75
Steven: $80
Evan: $106

[0]



(time's up)


Time's up! Now, we add up the scores. Patseen, you had $75 tonight. We add that to the $125 from last night, that gives you a total of...


Patseen: $200
Steven: $80
Evan: $106

[0]


$200. Steven, you had a total of $80 tonight, $75 last night, a total of....


Patseen: $200
Steven: $155
Evan: $106

[0]


And Evan, with a score of $106 tonight, and $103 last night, you have a total of....



Patseen: $200
Steven: $155
Evan: $209

[0]


$209, YOU'VE WON A MILLION DOLLARS!

(the lights come up, big win cue plays, with horns and sirens, the audience goes wild as a mob of Evan's friends and family come up on stage, Stacey and the female models celebrate around him and shower him with affection)


Congratulations, Evan, you are the 2017 Champion of Champions, so you've won a million dollars, and the most expensive car ever offered on network television. Your thoughts, sir?

[Twentington]

*after a brief celebration*

Wow! I'm kind of in shock here; Steven and Patseen put up a real good fight. For a second there, I thought the $15 I spent in CashCard was going to cost me the whole tourney. Great game, both of you.

[palmer7]

That's what I thought, too. However, the $15 Money Card you picked up and your successful run in the Speed Round really helped you out. Congratulations. We'll return to you in a moment.

First, we must say goodbye to your two worthy competitors. Patseen, you had an early lead going into the second game, but it's not where you start, it's where you finish. You ended in second place, so we give you $100,000 in cash. That brings your total, in cash and prizes, to....

$245,382 in cash and prizes. I'm sure that money will help you through college. Many thanks for playing, and I hope all goes well for you. A bright young man from Thailand, Patseen Punsiri! (audience cheers)

And Steven, you've been a wonderful contestant as well. We've enjoyed you very much during this tournament. We give you an additional $50,000 cash, and that brings your total to....

$324,008 in cash and prizes. Good luck, thank you for playing, and let's give it up for Steven Anderson! (audience cheers)

Do either of you wish to say anything before you go?

[asja2002]

Evan is a great player, and I knew I'd have to be fast on the buzzer, but Evan was that much quicker. Congrats Evan

[patpun2016]

You know what, I'm happy to be here. Evan deserves that million, Steven is also a great opponent. I'm sure we're all going for a drink after this. Thanks everyone!

[palmer7]

Thank you, Patseen. I think there's a big afterparty for us after the show. But now, all three of you join me as we celebrate Evan Hatfield's victory!



(Let's Go Shopping! cue)
(cheers and applause)
(all three contestants join me as the doors open and we enter the showroom, and the models throw streamers at Evan, while Katy comes in with a tray of a non-alcoholic sparkling drinks)

Fantastic, thank you. Martinelli '17. A very good year. Evan, you're probably wondering who this woman is over here. That's Katy. The man over there is Alex Angert from Guinness World Records. He is here to verify that we are awarding you the most expensive automobile ever offered on network television. This!


[WHERE'S THE WALRUS V2]

Burton: (VO) An icon cannot be reinvented, it can only be challenged. Lamborghini’s most iconic model now reaps the inheritance of the historic S models and evolves into the new 2017 Aventador S Coupé. Exclusive Lamborghini design and the new V12 engine with a whopping 740 HP now join the most sophisticated technology of the range, featuring the new Lamborghini Active Vehicle Dynamics, which offers an unparalleled driving experience to all those who honor their egos by challenging themselves every day. It comes with all the standard features and is loaded with options. Furnished by Los Gatos Luxury Cars!

And befitting both a champion and vehicle of this caliber, we're also including an 18-carat gold, diamond-studded key ring valued at $2,500 from Germani Jewelry and $ale of the Century. Altogether, this prize package is worth....

(cheers and applause)
(all of us meet at the car)


Greg: Before I hand you the keys, Alex would like to say a few words.

Alex: Indeed I would. Since its original run in 1969, $ale of the Century has offered fantastic prizes and a lot of fun. There is nothing more exciting than offering and giving away a brand-new car. So, on behalf of everyone at Guinness World Records, I'd like to welcome this show into the record book as the show that awarded the highest-priced car in network television. Congratulations.

(audience cheers as he hands me the plaque)

Greg: Thank you. Evan.... (I pull out a key and keychain from my pocket and give it to him) Here's your keyring and set of keys to the car. And I also have a glass suitcase for this!



(cash jackpot fanfare as the sign lowers)


Burton: (VO) A cash bonus of one MILLION dollars!

(cheers and applause)


(I present Evan with the "Grundy glass suitcase") Greg: And here it is, Evan. I am symbolically handing you a million dollars with this suitcase, straight from Jim Perry's run. Now, Evan, as of right now, you have already replaced both Jon Darrall and Curtis Warren as the 8th biggest winner in American game show history. However, I'm going to give you a chance right now to play a special Ten-in-a-Row for another million dollars. (audience cheers) However, there's one catch. You can't pass, you can't get any wrong. One wrong answer, and the game is over. Understood?

[palmer7]

All right. In that case, we'll just clear everyone out of here...... (obvious edit to Evan and me at the TIAR desk)

Thank you. Now, Evan, here's how it works. I'll ask you 10 questions. You'll have three seconds to answer each one. If you're right, we move you up the ladder. If you can get 10 in a row, we'll give you another million dollars. However, if you pass or give an incorrect answer, the game is over and you don't win any additional money. All right? Are you ready to begin?

(Stand by for a PM)

[palmer7]

(Evan nods, or adlibs something) Very well. Dim the lights, please! (the lights are dimmed) Audience, this man is playing for a lot of money, so kindly shut up. Thank you. Good luck, Evan. Your Million Dollar Ten-in-a-Row begins.... now!


1. What opera character's famed entrance aria actually introduces him as a handyman?
Evan: Figaro
Correct.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
[8]
[7]
[6]
[5]
[4]
[3]
[2]
<1>




2. If you planted the seeds of "Quercus Robur", what would grow?
Evan: Trees
Right.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
[8]
[7]
[6]
[5]
[4]
[3]
<2>
[1]


3. Which scientific unit is named after an Italian nobleman?
Evan: Volt
Yes.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
[8]
[7]
[6]
[5]
[4]
<3>
[2]
[1]



4. Tomas Masaryk was the first President of what country?
Evan: Czechoslovakia?
Yes.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
[8]
[7]
[6]
[5]
<4>
[3]
[2]
[1]




5. In 1912, former US President Theodore Roosevelt was a candidate for which two-word political party?
Evan: Progressive Party
Yes.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
[8]
[7]
[6]
<5>
[4]
[3]
[2]
[1]


6. Oberon is a satellite of what planet?
Evan: Uranus
Correct.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
[8]
[7]
<6>
[5]
[4]
[3]
[2]
[1]




7. What letter must appear at the beginning of the registration number of all non-military aircraft in the U.S.?
Evan: N
Right.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
[8]
<7>
[6]
[5]
[4]
[3]
[2]
[1]




8. A number one followed by one hundred zeros is known by what name?
Evan: Googol
Correct.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
[9]
<8>
[7]
[6]
[5]
[4]
[3]
[2]
[1]



9. In the children's book series, where is Paddington Bear originally from?
Evan: Peru
Right.
(ding)


[$1,000,000]
<9>
[8]
[7]
[6]
[5]
[4]
[3]
[2]
[1]



10. Who did artist Grant Wood use as the model for the farmer in the painting "American Gothic"?
Evan: His dentist
HE DID IT!
(ding)


<$1,000,000>
[9]
[8]
[7]
[6]
[5]
[4]
[3]
[2]
[1]



[WIN CUE]
(the lights come up, and the crowd goes wild as Evan's friends and family pile back up on stage, including a few special guests)
(we all celebrate, hugs, high fives, fist bumps, the works)

Well done, Evan! You won another million dollars! That's two million you've won in just 30 minutes. Your thoughts, sir? Plus, who did you bring with you?

[Twentington]

*after calming down again*

That'll take care of the taxes on the car, that much is for sure.

Well, in no particular order, on the family side of things, we've got my mother, my father, my stepmother, my younger sister, and my grandmother, plus there's loads more family watching across the country.

On the friends side, here's three of my closest friends, along with a few people from the different clubs I represent on Ball State's campus. On that note, I'd also like to say hi to anybody watching in Muncie - chirp chirp! WE DID IT! *goes back to celebrating with family and friends*

[palmer7]

And here to join the festivities are our contestant coordinators, Donna Jean and Ellie. We also have--- (after a quick confirmation) ---- Jon Favreau, the guy who'll be directing The Lion King next year, for some reason or another. Jon, great to have you. I suppose we all have to give Beyoncé something to do.

Anyway, Evan, you have set many a record tonight. You have just surpassed Andrew Kravis as the third-biggest winner on an American game show. And you know, a lot of lucky breaks got you here. Originally, Jon Darrall was guaranteed a berth in a semifinal game for winning last year, but he couldn't make it. So, what we were going to do is bring in Stephen Hall, who was named "Australia's Brainiest Quiz Master" and was also Temptation Grand Champion, but he couldn't make it, so we just had to bring you in. You barely qualified, but you won your games. You showed great self-discipline on the Instant Bargains and had a lot of luck on the Fame Game board. And here you are with a fantastic total. Now, before I tell you what your total is, let me tell you a few other things. When and if we get Jon Darrall back, we are going to invite you two back for some sort of competition. Maybe we'll have a third player, I don't know. Heh heh, I gotta be careful because what I say will live on forever on Blu-Ray. (audience laughs) Evan, we're also going to guarantee you a berth in the semifinals next year so you can defend your title. [IRL: As a consequence of this, you will not be allowed to participate in normal gameplay.]


However, Evan, as of right now, you are leaving us as the biggest money-winner $ale of the Century has had anywhere in the world. You have a total in cash and prizes of....

GRAND TOTAL:

$2,749,081!


(audience cheers)
(big win closing plays)
(balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling as Stacey passes out the flowers and the sparkling cider)


And here come the balloons and everything. I'm getting another drink. (I swap out my empty glass for a full one) Evan, good luck with your studies. God bless you. Any last words before we go?

[Twentington]

Well first of all, I'd like to thank the academy...

In all seriousness, I'd like to thank everybody involved in the production here.  They run this show so unbelievably well... it's a wonderful experience the whole way through, and I'm already looking forward to being back in the future.

Finally, I'd like to thank the other contestants for making this competition what it is.  It's truly a meeting of the minds, they all deserve to be here.  

For that matter, I think they deserve to join in the celebration here.  Are they still here?  

[palmer7]

Oh, of course they are. Come on in! (and the 8 other competitors enter) This has been a fantastic tournament, I want to thank you all for participating. We may never have another group like this again. Weren't they fantastic? (audience cheers)

And Evan, we have one more surprise for you. (Shannon brings in a gold trophy with a man on top that looks just like Jim Perry) Here is your trophy, and we'll have your name printed on it. The statue on it looks just like Jim Perry, so we'll name this award "The Perry". There's your Perry.

A few bits of business regarding our normal TV broadcasts: On Monday, we'll have our NFL week. NFL players compete for charity, and someone at home's going to win a million dollars and a new car. It could be you. Go online for more details. After that, we'll resume normal game play with Lenny Jackson. He's already won a hot tub boat. In the meantime, I'll see you on the radio this weekend. Have a great weekend, keep smiling, and bye for now! (everybody waves)


[LOT/TOURNAMENT WIN CUE]
[LONG APPLAUSE, CHEERS]

Burton: (VO) A representative of our studio audience will receive a pool table. The Wellington model from Golden West Billiards of North Hollywood, a regulation slate table complete with a deluxe accessory package for your playing enjoyment.


And some members of our studio and IMAX-theater audiences will receive....


Andes after-dinner candies. We've all enjoyed these treats at restaurants, hotels, and airlines everywhere. Now you can enjoy them at home, anytime. Andes.



Fashionable sportswear in natural fabrics with the look of today. Shoes known for comfort and style, and all beautifully designed by Cherokee of California.


American Tourister's Spectrum casual soft-sided luggage, designed to go the distance. It's not just how good it looks, it's how long it looks good. Spectrum, furnished by American Tourister.


Collectables from The Morgan Mint. Quality collectables featuring classic, American coins and official Elvis Presley memorabilia, honoring The King of Rock 'n Roll. Unique gifts from The Morgan Mint.


The new Honda Elite 50-E scooter, with push-button starting, no shifting, and a locking-under-seat storage compartment. Come ride with us on the new Honda Elite 50-E.


And 12 passes to see The Post, starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep. A cover-up that spanned four U.S. Presidents pushed the country's first female newspaper publisher of The Washington Post and its hard-driving editor to join an unprecedented battle between journalist and government. In theaters December 22. From 20th Century Fox.





Plus, all of our contestants and members of our studio audience will receive a diamond stick pen from Germani Jewelers, and a copy of the $ale of the Century video game for the Nintendo Switch. Furnished by THQ Nordic.

THE FOLLOWING HAVE PAID AND/OR FURNISHED PRIZES
TO THE PRODUCTION COMPANY FOR PROMOTING THEIR PRODUCTS:




VOLKSWAGEN GROUP OF AMERICA


BITCOIN


HAMMACHER SCHLEMMER


KAY JEWELERS



GOLDEN WEST BILLIARDS



















TOOTSIE ROLL INDUSTRIES, INC.



CHEROKEE OF CALIFORNIA



SAMSONITE


THE MORGAN MINT


AMERICAN HONDA MOTOR COMPANY


20TH CENTURY FOX FILM CORPORATION


THQ NORDIC AB


GERMANI JEWELLERS























































Greg Palmer's Wardrobe Furnished by:
RICK PALLACK SHERMAN OAKS














Stacey Wren's Wardrobe Furnished by:
PERRUCHE







Additional Wardrobe Furnished by:
KEITH MATHESON
BLAZER
THE GREIF COMPANIES
ZIMMERMANN
PERRY ELLIS INTERNATIONAL





Shoes by:
AQUILA
FRANCO BURRONE









$ALE OF THE CENTURY
GREG PALMER

Burton: (VO) All prices are Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Value and are correct at the time of recording. $ale of the Century stars Greg Palmer. This program has been edited for broadcast. This is Burton Richardson speaking.



(Everyone on stage celebrates, and that includes some throwing of balloons.)

Executive Producers
JENNIFER MULLIN
ANDREW BROOKE
KAREN GREENE



Co-Executive Producer
EVELYN WARFEL



Produced by
KAREN BENTLEY
MICHELLE SEERS
ADAM SANDLER



Co-Producer
STEVE MARSHALL



Supervising Prize Producer
ERIC MILLS



Associate Producers
ISAAC MAYO
JANET HOWE
HEATHER ALLEN
LAUREN WILKINS




Creative Consultants
GLENN RIDGE
TONY BARBER
ED PHILLIPS



Directed by
MARIO SILVESTRI



Art Direction
TONY LANE
DOUG MORRIS





Art Directors
BENTE CHRISTENSON-DUKES
MOLLY JOSEPH
JOHN IVO GILLES
RUDY JOOSTEN
MAL NICOLS



Set Design
ANDY WALMSLEY
RUDY JOOSTEN
MAL NICOLS
BENTE CHRISTENSON-DUKES
JULIE SKATE


Writers
PATTIE ANGEROSA
DEBBIE HALPERN
LOIS CLARK
BILL BARR


Production Staff
ROBIN HABIF
SEAN PERRY
MARTY BRIDGE
PAUL HIGGINS
EMMA PRINCE
KAREN BROWN


Production Manager
ROGER PETERSON


Assistant to the Producers
FRAN SCHWAB


Contestant Coordinators
NORMAN BERGER
DONNA JEAN STEINES
MICHAEL BALLARD
ELLIE BENDES


Editorial Staff
SUSAN LEVY
ARNOLD MEISSNER
CLAIRE TRAZENFELD


Research
MIKE REVELL
DOUG MORRIS


Senior Unit Manager
FRAN CALDERONE


Unit Manager
FRANCES ZALAWONKA


Lighting Director
KIRK WITHERSPOON

Audio
BILL LEVITSKY

Video
LES SHAW


Costume Designer
MARY VOGT



Music Coordinator
TONY LANE



Main Theme by
RAY AND MARC ELLIS
based on a composition by
JACK GRIMSLEY



Merchandising Director
FRANK BLUESTEIN


Technical Manager
STAN BLITZ



Manager, Staging Services
GUY CARUSO


Property Master
DON McREYNOLDS


Stage Manager
CORY CARSON






Announcer
BURTON RICHARDSON





Taped at
















Executive in Charge of Production
MICHAEL WHYTE

[palmer7]

(fade, timecard: TWO HOURS LATER)


(In an empty soundstage at Fox Studios, we find Greg and Tony Stark, with Happy. Stacey and Burton, intrigued, are watching.)

Stark: OK, pay attention, CashCard. I should only have to explain this once. (He gives Greg a futuristic bracelet similar to the one he was wearing in Captain America: Civil War. Greg slips it on.) Now, this is the Model-Prime Bracelet. All the armor collapses in here. It's connected to your brain synapses.

Greg: So if I think it, it comes.

Stark: Right. Now, to summon your armor, you just press the button here and mentally call upon your armor. Imagine it forming around you.

Greg: That's it?

Stark: Well, yeah.

Greg: OK. (Greg strikes a pose) IT'S MORPHIN TIME!

(Happy facepalms)

Burton: (confused) Huh?

Stacey: Wait, Tony's a Power Ranger?

(Now Stark facepalms)

Stark: (to Stacey) What the hell are you talking about? (to Greg) Now, this is no time to be screwing around. Get. Serious.

Greg: Right. (He finds a spare laptop hanging around the studio, goes to YouTube, and finds a video. He selects it, then rushes back to give himself some space. Just then, an extended version of the 1996 Iron Man: The Animated Series theme by William Anderson starts up. He then thrusts his left arm out to the side, then brings it back in and presses the center of the bracelet. He then gestures toward the end of his left hand, covering it with armor. He then thrusts his left arm out again, letting the armor come over it. The armor then covers his right arm. He flexes his right hand, then forms a fist as he brings his right arm up vertically, with his fist by his head. Then, he thrusts both arms out as the rest of his armor covers his torso and the rest of his body. He strikes a final pose. [See video here.])

Greg: I, am, IRON MAN!


(Stark offers up a sarcastic three-clap applause)


Stark: (sarcastically) That was a hell of a show, CashCard. (some other comment about how ridiculous that was; e.g.: But, as anyone can tell you, transformation is not a free action.) Now, listen up. (Greg starts flying around the studio, so Stark presses the side of his glasses so his voice can get inside Greg's suit) You are going to be one of the members of the West Coast Avengers.

(We get inside the suit of the excited Greg, only for his face to suddenly change.) Greg: Wait a minute.... (he abruptly makes a landing on the ground and retracts his faceplate) West Coast.... Avengers?


(As the song "Leave It" by Yes starts up, Clint Barton walks in as Hawkeye. Stark's quite reluctant to say anything to Clint. Stacey and Burton look absolutely shocked. After the acapella introduction, cut to black.)

---

(As the credits roll, we move to another soundstage at Fox Studios, where we find the cast, crew, and all 9 contestants hanging out at the Tournament after party. Plenty of fun to be had by all.)

Film Directed by
STEPHEN LOW & THE RUSSO BROTHERS


Written by
GREG PALMER
JON WATTS
JONATHAN GOLDSTEIN


Additional Material by
GRAHAM CHAPMAN
JOHN CLEESE
ERIC IDLE
TERRY JONES
MICHAEL PALIN
TERRY GILLIAM
GREG PALMER
DAVID P. LEWIS
BOOKER T. BRADSHAW


Film Produced by
GREG PALMER, p.g.a.


Film Produced by
KEVIN FEIGE, p.g.a.


Film Executive Producer
JENNIFER MULLIN


Film Executive Producer
STAN LEE


Film Executive Producer
ROB CLARK


Film Executive Producers
LOUIS D'ESPOSITO
JEREMY LATCHAM


Film Associate Producers
JANET HOWE
SIMON HATT


Film Co-Producers
STEVE MARSHALL
DAVID J. GRANT


Film Director of Photography
HENRY GRAHAM, B.S.C.


Film Production Designer
SCOTT CHAMBLISS


Film Edited by
FRED RASKIN, A.C.E.
CRAIG WOOD, A.C.E.


Incidential Score by
ALAN PARSONS


Starring
GREG PALMER



STACEY WREN



BURTON RICHARDSON



JON FAVREAU


JAMES CORDEN


ED SHEERAN


STAN LEE


RYAN REYNOLDS


HUGH JACKMAN
as The Shirtless Organist


DAVID HYDE PIERCE


MARSHA WARFIELD


MARK RUFFALO


ALEC BALDWIN


with
RYAN SEACREST


PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP


SETH MacFARLANE
MIKE HENRY
MILA KUNIS
LACEY CHABERT
JAY LENO


CRAIG ROBINSON
MINNIE DRIVER
JAMIE FARR
MICAH FOWLER
ED O'NEILL
SOFIA VERGARA
SETH GREEN
ALEX BORSTEIN

MICHAELA CONLIN
T.J. THYNE
TARAJI P. HENSON
GRACE BYERS
KAITLIN DOUBLEDAY


SHEN YUN PERFORMING ARTS GROUP
as Themselves


Contestants
SAM HODKIN
STEVEN ANDERSON
JOHN LOPEZ
PATSEEN PUNSIRI
IAN SHERMAN
SAM RYAN
JAMES GREEK
EVAN HATFIELD
KEVIN KOLSEN


JEREMY RENNER
as Hawkeye



and
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.
as Tony Stark


Casting by
SARAH HALLEY FINN, CSA

Costume Designers
JUDIANNA MAKOVSKY
MARY VOGT

Music Supervision By
TONY LANE

Visual Effects Supervisor
CHRISTOPHER TOWNSEND

Visual Effects Producers
DIANA GIOGIUTTI
MARICEL PAGULAYAN

(At this point, footage from the afterparty is moved to the right-hand side and slightly minimized while other credits, including the cast list, scroll. As the song ends, the credit scroll pauses and momentarily disappears as the footage goes full screen.)


Greg: So, what have we learned in the last few hours? Well, several things. Some of you may be wondering why this film was made. Well, several reasons. First, to promote $ale of the Century. Second, to make money. We spent 350 million American dollars to make this film and get it into every IMAX theater in the friggin' world. And at least 10% of that was what we paid Robert Downey, Jr. Probably more. I just want to thank each and every one of you who are still in this theater for watching. I hope we've entertained and enlightened you. Go ahead and try some of the trivia out on your friends.

I know we're not going to get an Oscar for Best Actor or Best Supporting Actor, or anything like that. Not any of the major awards. Well, Bob might be nominated for something. Not as Tony Stark, but still.

Oh, as for my insertion into the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Yes, I will be in Deadpool 2 as host of this program. I may be in the Infinity War sequel as an alternate Iron Man, in case Bob retires or something. I won't be in the movies that are already in post. If there's a West Coast Avengers series that comes out of this, I probably will not be in it. I mean, I just don't have the time. $ale will probably end up in the comics as well. I mean, if Late Night with David Letterman could do it, so can we, right? Right?

Now, Burton mentioned something about prizes. When you bought your ticket to this movie, you should have gotten a card with a code on it. Go to the website listed, register, and enter the code. You might win something. Of course, if you're watching this in a second-run IMAX theater or on DVD or Blu-Ray, you're out of luck. Sorry.

Anyway, don't forget to listen to Top 30 Countdown every week, and I will see you when I see you. Now, to take us out, here's Sia with a song that was recorded for Twilight Zone: The Movie. It won't be nominated for an Oscar. Keep smiling, and bye for now! (I wave)


["Nights Are Forever" by Sia, listen to the original here]
[immediately followed by "Where's the Walrus?" by The Alan Parsons Project]


(other credits here, and believe me, there are quite a bit)

Music:

"The Secret of My Success"
Written by Jack Blades, David Foster, Michael Landau, and Tom Keane
Performed by Greg Palmer, James Corden, Ed Sheeran, and Night Ranger
Produced by David Foster
Ed Sheeran appears courtesy of Atlantic Records


"Mercedes"
Written by Ray & Marc Ellis
Based on a composition by Jack Grimsley


"Hyper-Gamma-Spaces"
Written by Alan Parsons & Eric Woolfson
Performed by The Alan Parsons Project

"Cue 30" from Concentration
Written by Edd Kalehoff

The Streets of San Francisco Theme
Written by Patrick Williams
Performed by The Pat Williams Orchestra

"January, February, March"
Written by Merv Griffin

"Le Parc - Street Hawk Theme"
Written, Produced, and Performed by Tangerine Dream


"Match Play"
Written by Syd Dale

“Take Me to Church”
Written by Andrew Hozier-Byrne
Produced by Hans Zimmer, Mark Mancina & Elton John
Performed by Sir Elton John
Elton John appears courtesy of Mercury Records

"Stairway to Heaven"
Written by Jimmy Page & Robert Plant
Performed by Led Zeppelin

"Brass In Action"
Written by Keith Mansfield

"Roving Report No. 2"
Written by Jack Trombey

"Secret Garden"
Written by Alan Parsons & Eric Woolfson
Performed by The Alan Parsons Project

"Where's the Walrus?"
Written by Alan Parsons & Eric Woolfson
Performed by The Alan Parsons Project

"Lottery [Theme from Match Game-Hollywood Squares Hour]"
Written by Edd Kalehoff

"Scenic Route"
Written by Trevor Bastow

“The Night Begins To Shine”
Written by William J. Reagan, Franklin Enea & Carl Burnett
Produced by Carl Burnett
Performed by B.E.R.
B.E.R. appears courtesy of Telepictures Music

"Splendido!"
Written by Edd Kalehoff

"Nothing But Furniture"
Music by Edd Kalehoff
Lyrics by Scott Walker
Performed by Greg Palmer, Stacey Wren, Burton Richardson, and the $ale of The Century Audience Choir

"Coconut Lounge"
Written by Derek & Brandon Fiechter

"Another Brick in the Wall"
Written by Roger Waters
Performed by Pink Floyd

"Open Your Mind"
Written by Andy Clark

"I Won't Back Down (Acoustic Piano)"
Written by Tom Petty & Jeff Lynne
Produced by Jimmy Napes & Sam Smith
Performed by Sam Smith
Piano Performed by John Tesh
Sam Smith appears courtesy of Capitol Records
John Tesh appears courtesy of Garden City Records


"Olympic Fanfare and Theme"
Written by John Williams


"Theme from Think Fast!"
Written by Edd Kalehoff


"Break Away"
Written by Richard Myhill

"Theme from Dallas"
Written by Jerrold Immel

"Mardi Gras"
Written by Henrik Nielsen

"Death Hits the Jackpot [End Theme]"
Written by Steve Dorff

"Communication"
Written by Mark Styles
Courtesy of OmniMusic

"Corporate Raiders"
Written by Alan Hawkshaw

"The Elephant Never Forgets"
Written by Jean-Jacques Perrey based on a composition by Ludwig Van Beethoven

"Evermore"
Written by Alan Menken & Tim Rice
Performed by Dan Stevens
Dan Stevens appears courtesy of Walt Disney Records


"I Go to Rio"
Written by Peter Allen
Performed by The Ray Hamilton Orchestra


“20th Century Fox Charity Picnic and Auction”
Originally Written as “Volunteer Fireman Picnic” from Take Me Along by Bob Merrill
New Lyrics by Greg Palmer
Performed by Greg Palmer, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Henry, Mila Kunis, Lacey Chabert, Burton Richardson, Jay Leno, Craig Robinson, Minnie Driver, Jamie Farr, Micah Fowler, Ed O'Neill, Sofía Vergara, Seth Green, Alex Borstein, Michaela Conlin, T. J. Thyne, Taraji P. Henson, Grace Byers, Kaitlin Doubleday, Ta'Rhonda Jones, Gabourey Sidibe, Serayah, and Bre-Z
Arrangement and Orchestration by Walter Murphy


"The Wall"
Written by Muff Murfin

"國樂 - 羅漢舞獅 / Lohan Lion Dance"
Traditional

"Bohemian Rhapsody"
Written by Freddie Mercury
Performed by Queen featuring Greg Palmer, Stacey Wren, and the $ale of The Century Audience Choir

"Frozen"
Written by Madonna & Patrick Leonard
Produced by Mark Anthony Lane
Performed by Idina Menzel
Idina Menzel appears courtesy of Hollywood Records & Warner Bros. Records

"Sync Tank"
Written by Axel Simone


"Bandstand Boogie"
Written by Les Elgart
Performed by the Larry Elgart Orchestra

"Shattered Dreams"
Written by Clark Datchler
Produced & Arranged by Sia Furler & Greg Kurstin
Performed by Sia
Sia appears courtesy of Monkey Puzzle Records & RCA Records

"Sparkling Lights"
Written and Performed by Network Music Ensemble

"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me"
Written by Elton John & Bernie Taupin
Produced by George Michael
Performed by George Michael & Elton John

"$ale of the Century Big Win Theme"
Written by Ray & Marc Ellis

"Theme From Iron Man: The Animated Series"
Written by William Anderson

"Leave It"
Written by Trevor Rabin, Chris Squire, & Trevor Horn
Produced by Trevor Horn
Performed by Yes
Yes appears courtesy of Atco Records


"Nights are Forever"
Written by Jerry Goldsmith & John Bettis
Produced & Arranged by Sia Furler & Greg Kurstin
Performed by Sia
Sia appears courtesy of Monkey Puzzle Records & RCA Records


Soundtrack Available on



DEADPOOL created by
FABIAN NICIEZA
ROB LIEFELD

IRON MAN created by
STAN LEE
LARRY LIEBER
DON HECK
JACK KIRBY

HAWKEYE created by
STAN LEE
DON HECK

COLUMBO created by
RICHARD LEVINSON
WILLIAM LINK


The Producers Wish to Thank The Following:
THE MUNICIPALITY OF AUVERGNE, HAUTE-LOIRE, AIGUILHE, FRANCE
THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH
SISTERS OF ST. JOSEPH
VOLKSWAGEN GROUP OF AMERICA
NBC UNIVERSAL

"Variety clock Drive-in theater Intermission" YouTube video courtesy of driveinfilm
"Drive-in Intermission 1" YouTube video courtesy of MrRiggyRiggs
"Cats, Trampoline, Pecans" YouTube video courtesy of southerner66

Clip from And Now For Something Completely Different courtesy of Sony Pictures Entertainment

Filmed at 20th Century Fox Studios and On Location in France and Atlanta, Georgia












Copyright ©2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation and Grundy International Operations, B.V.
All Rights Reserved

MARVEL and all related character names: © & ™ 2017 MARVEL.

COLUMBO and all related character names: © & ™ 2017 NBCUniversal.

Grundy International Operations, B.V. is the author of this motion picture for the purposes of copyright and other laws.

Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation did not receive any payment or other consideration, or enter into any agreement, for the depiction of tobacco products in this film.

Select events, characters, and firms depicted in this photoplay are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or firms is purely coincidental.

Ownership of this motion picture is protected by copyright and other applicable laws, and any unauthorized duplication, distribution, or exhibition of this motion picture could result in criminal prosecution as well as civil liability.

(we fade in on Burton at his desk)


Burton: This is Burton Richardson reminding you that the making and authorized distribution of this film supported over 15,000 jobs and involved hundreds of thousands of work hours. Illegal distribution through video piracy puts those jobs at risk.

(We zoom out to find he's the only one left in the studio. He sorts his papers, lays them on his desk, gets up, and walks out. As he exits, the lights go out in the studio.)

THE AVENGERS WILL RETURN

DEADPOOL WILL RETURN

GREG PALMER AS IRON MAN.....
WHO KNOWS?
















Distributed by
TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX FILM CORPORATION

[tmann3x]