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Post by palmer7 on Oct 28, 2017 10:40:32 GMT -5
Ready? Go. [___REBOOT____] [_____________] [_____________]
[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]
(beep)Reboot. [___REBOOT____] [___STARRING__] [_____________]
[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]
(beep)Starring. [___REBOOT____] [___STARRING__] [___GRANT_____]
[_____________] [_____________] [_____________]
(beep)Grant. [___REBOOT____] [___STARRING__] [___GRANT_____]
[____SHOW_____] [_____________] [_____________]
(beep)Show.... (buzzcode: 84) *Ian buzzes in (4 clues, 90)*Ian?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2017 10:44:47 GMT -5
Could it be... Dynasty?
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Post by palmer7 on Oct 28, 2017 10:49:53 GMT -5
Could be.... [___REBOOT____] [___STARRING__] [___GRANT_____]
[____SHOW_____] [_____AS______] [___BLAKE_____]
(ding)(audience cheers) And it is! Starring Grant Show as Blake Carrington, that's Dynasty. Or, as they pronounce it Down Under, Dinasty. It's on The CW Wednesday nights. Watch it. Stacey, where's that $25?
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Post by tmann3x on Oct 29, 2017 20:09:12 GMT -5
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Post by palmer7 on Oct 29, 2017 22:09:11 GMT -5
(lights in motion)Greg: Ian, if you hit that $25, you'll have a 3-question cushion going into the Speed Round. Good luck, and fire when ready! (an unused letter from A-I, please)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2017 22:12:41 GMT -5
OK! Let's sweep this clean! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! Annnnd STOP!!! (C)
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Post by tmann3x on Oct 30, 2017 9:55:19 GMT -5
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Post by palmer7 on Oct 30, 2017 12:18:11 GMT -5
(he stops)$25! $25! $25! (fanfare)(cheers and applause) (camera flashes between $25 and Ian) Sam: $50 Steven: $60 Ian: $90
We add that to your score, and you are now up to $90. Going into the Speed Round, you have a 3-question lead against Steven, and a 4-question lead against Sam. However, stranger things have happened. Who will win? We'll go into the home stretch right after this. (main theme to commercial, cheers and applause, fade to commercial)
Greg: And now, cats on a trampoline. This video is about 5 minutes long. Greg: Is everyone back? Good. Now, I'd like to tell the story of Peter and the Wolf. Now, it's important to note that each of the characters is represented by an instrument in the orchestra--- (Just then, Stacey walks in) Stacey: Wait, wait... Greg! Greg, Greg.Greg: What? Stacey: A full performance of "Peter and the Wolf" takes 25 minutes. This movie is long enough as is.Greg: Oh, right. Stacey: Why don't you save that as a bonus feature for the DVD and Blu-ray Disc?Greg: I think I will. Thanks, Stace. Back to the show. (fade in, main theme closes, cheers and applause)Greg: And welcome back to $ale of the Century. We had a close match, but Ian hit that $25 in the last segment, so he now has a 3-question cushion against second place. We finish up the game with the Speed Round. May I have 10 questions on the clock, please? Sam: $50 Steven: $60 Ian: $90
[10]
(ding)The scores are Ian at $90, Steven at $60, and Sam at $50. As a reminder, the winner gets a trip to Rio de Janeiro. If you win with a score of $100 or more, you also win a VW Golf GTI Sport worth almost $30,000. So, good luck to everyone. Audience, I ask for your complete silence. Good luck as we begin the Speed Round.... now! 1. What typewriter key was introduced by Remington in 1878, ending the need for two keys for each letter? 2. What is the capital of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines? 3. What was the name of the plane that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima? 4. What age followed the Bronze Age? 5. Which country contains the most forested area? 6. What computer programming language is often referred to by coders as "Camel"? 7. What describes the amount of light allowed to pass through a camera lens? 8. Which metal, in its purest form, has the highest melting point? 9. What are categorized as the biological class "aves"? 10. Germaine Greer wrote the controversial book The Female what?(buzzcodes and answers, please)
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Post by palmer7 on Oct 31, 2017 14:12:08 GMT -5
1. What typewriter key was introduced by Remington in 1878, ending the need for two keys for each letter? (buzzcode: 39) *Steven buzzes in (38)*Steven? Steven: ShiftYes. (ding) Sam: $50 Steven: $70 Ian: $90
[9]
2. What is the capital of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines? (buzzcode: 66) *Steven buzzes in (56)*Steven? Steven: KingstownCorrect. (ding) Sam: $50 Steven: $80 Ian: $90
[8]
3. What was the name of the plane that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima? (buzzcode: 60) *Steven buzzes in (64)*Steven? Steven: Enola GayYes. (ding) Sam: $50 Steven: $90 Ian: $90
[7]
4. What age followed the Bronze Age? (buzzcode: 29) *Sam buzzes in (30)*Sam? Sam: Iron AgeRight. (ding) Sam: $60 Steven: $90 Ian: $90
[6]
5. Which country contains the most forested area? (buzzcode: 95) *Sam buzzes in (64)*Sam? Sam: RussiaYes. (ding) Sam: $70 Steven: $90 Ian: $90
[5]
6. What computer programming language is often referred to by coders as "Camel"? (buzzcode: 80) *Steven buzzes in (89)*Steven? Steven: ApacheStop the clock! (the clock stops) We'll need a ruling on this. (edit) (wrong)While there is a framework called Apache Camel, the correct answer is Perl. Programming Perl, published by O'Reilly Media, features a picture of a dromedary camel on the cover and is commonly called the "Camel Book". So, the correct answer is Perl. Steven, you lose $10. Sam: $70 Steven: $80 Ian: $90
[4]
The scores are Sam at $70, Steven at $80, Ian at $90. We restart the Speed Round.... now! 7. What describes the amount of light allowed to pass through a camera lens? (buzzcode: 28) *Sam buzzes in (38)*Sam? Sam: ApertureCorrect. (ding) Sam: $80 Steven: $80 Ian: $90
[3]
8. Which metal, in its purest form, has the highest melting point? (buzzcode: 85) *Ian buzzes in (58)*Ian? Ian: gold(wrong)Tungsten. Sam: $80 Steven: $80 Ian: $80
[2]
9. What are categorized as the biological class "aves"? (buzzcode: 74) *Steven buzzes in (22)*Steven? Steven: BirdsCorrect. (ding) Sam: $80 Steven: $80 Ian: $90
[1]
10. Germaine Greer wrote the controversial book The Female what? (buzzcode: 97) *Sam buzzes in (96)*Sam? Sam: EunuchRight! (ding) Sam: $90 Steven: $80 Ian: $90
[0]
(time's up)Time's up, and we have a tie! (audience ooohs) We have a tie between Sam and Ian, so we'll have to go to a tie-breaker question for $5. Nobody wins the car, but you're still playing for a berth in the two-game final and a trip to Brazil. Steven, there's nothing you can do at this point, you just stay content with your extra $5,000. Audience, we need your silence. First person to buzz in takes fate into their own hands. Right answer, you win $5 and the game. Wrong answer, you lose $5 and the game. Sam, Ian... here's the question. Albert DeSalvo was better known as who?(buzzcode and answer, please)
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Post by palmer7 on Oct 31, 2017 20:11:07 GMT -5
(off-camera chatter)
Hold it! What? Steven and Sam are going at it, and Ian is out of it? I'm sorry. We'll correct the scores.
Sam: $90 Steven: $90 Ian: $80
Ian, I'm terribly sorry. (off-camera chatter) So Steven and Sam are going for a tie-breaker. Let's try this again.
Albert DeSalvo was better known as who?
(buzzcode and answer, please)
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Post by palmer7 on Nov 1, 2017 10:58:01 GMT -5
(buzzcode: 60) *Steven buzzes in (50)*Steven? Steven: The Boston StranglerYou win! (ding) Sam: $90 Steven: $95 Ian: $80
[WIN CUE](cheers and applause) [BGM MUSIC]FINALISTWow, what a match that was. Congratulations, Steven. You are a winner. Sorry you didn't win the car, but you do have a nice trip coming your way. We'll return to you in a moment. Ian, I'm so sorry this mix-up happened. I am happy to report that you certainly do not walk away empty-handed. You've got trips to Durham, Dallas, and a record $32,580 in additional cash. When we add that up to what you've won earlier, you're leaving us with quite a haul.... $84,577 in cash and prizes. (cheers and applause) Plus, my sincerest apologies. It's so easy to get caught up in the excitement when there's a car on the line. Still, you walked away with quite a bit. I hope you'll understand. You've been a great player, and we thank you for coming. Ian Sherman! (audience cheers) Well, Sam, you didn't buy anything or pick anything up off the Fame Game board, but we do give you the $90 in front of you plus a consolation prize of $5,000 in cash. You leave us with a total of... $377,711 in cash and prizes. (cheers and applause) That translates to almost 285-g quid. You were a great player, and we enjoyed having you. Sam Hodkin! (cheers and applause) Is there anything either of you would like to say before you go?
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Post by hodders on Nov 1, 2017 11:05:24 GMT -5
I can't really begrudge Steven on a tie breaker, it's been a fun ride.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2017 11:22:11 GMT -5
Hey, no qualms from this side of the lectern, either. And I'll say one thing, Greg: I can't wait to meet your family afterwards.
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Post by palmer7 on Nov 1, 2017 12:40:38 GMT -5
I'll call my parents after the show. We may have Jennifer join us. But now, Steven Anderson is the victor of this half-hour, and Steven, just sit back while Burton Richardson tells you about this exciting trip to Rio you've just won. Burton, if you please. ["I Go to Rio" (Instrumental) by The Ray Hamilton Orchestra]Burton: (VO) Steven, it's a fantastic Brazilian holiday! You and a guest will fly round-trip first-class from Los Angeles to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil for a 7-night stay in an Ocean Emiliano Suite at the Emiliano Rio. This 5-star hotel is within close proximity of Copacabana Fort and Girl from Ipanema Park. Make yourself at home in one of the 90 air-conditioned rooms featuring minibars and LCD televisions. Featured amenities include complimentary wired Internet access, complimentary newspapers in the lobby, and dry cleaning/laundry services. The Emiliano Rio.
Plus, we're including a rental car, an all-you-can-eat dinner at an authentic Brazilian Churrascaria, and a 5-hour, private tour of Rio! Furnished by United Vacations. This trip is worth....(cheers and applause) Greg: And now, Steven, join me over here in the showroom. Let's go shopping! (Let's Go Shopping! cue)(cheers and applause) (Steven thanks his two opponents, then makes his way to join me as the doors open and we walk inside the showroom) Well, that was a real nailbiter, wasn't it? It came down to a tiebreaker. Still, well played. Your thoughts, sir?
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Post by asja2002 on Nov 1, 2017 12:51:32 GMT -5
I thought I was in trouble after the third fame game actually. I was reading about the new Dynasty the other night and the actor's name wasn't coming to me. Anyway, you get to this part of the tournament, you know everyone's going to be quicker on the buzzers. Sam and Ian are great players too, good to see them again.
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Post by palmer7 on Nov 1, 2017 16:29:25 GMT -5
Yes it was. Now, as you know, you're guaranteed at least $50,000 in cash for making it to the finals stage. 50-grand for third place, 100-grand for second, but look at what you get for coming in first! This beautiful automobile! [WHERE'S THE WALRUS V1]Burton: (VO) An icon cannot be reinvented, it can only be challenged. Lamborghini’s most iconic model now reaps the inheritance of the historic S models and evolves into the new 2017 Aventador S Coupé. Exclusive Lamborghini design and the new V12 engine with a whopping 740 HP now join the most sophisticated technology of the range, featuring the new Lamborghini Active Vehicle Dynamics, which offers an unparalleled driving experience to all those who honor their egos by challenging themselves every day. It comes with all the standard features and is loaded with options. Furnished by Los Gatos Luxury Cars!
And befitting both a champion and vehicle of this caliber, we're also including an 18-carat gold, diamond-studded key ring valued at $2,500 from Germani Jewelry and $ale of the Century. Altogether, this prize package is worth....
(cheers and applause) Greg: Over $505,000, Steven! And not only that, but so you can pay the taxes on that car, this! (cash jackpot fanfare as the sign lowers)Burton: (VO) A cash bonus of one MILLION dollars!(cheers and applause) Greg: So all in all, that's a total of $1,505,705 in cash and prizes you could end up winning Friday night. But wait, there's more! We'll also give you the opportunity to play another all-or-nothing game of 10-in-a-Row for *another* million dollars! (audience cheers loudly) So that's $2.5 million in cash and prizes you could win in the next few nights. However, Steven, how'd you like to take us for another $50,000?
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Post by asja2002 on Nov 1, 2017 18:04:42 GMT -5
I'm ready, Greg!
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Post by palmer7 on Nov 1, 2017 21:29:58 GMT -5
Then right this way!
(we walk over to the 10-in-a-Row area, I open up my laptop)
OK, Steven, here's how it works. I will ask you 10 questions. All you have to do is give me as many correct answers as you can within 60 seconds. Each correct answer adds money directly to you, no P-C-J to worry about...
$50,000 $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
And if you get 10-out-of-10, it's $50,000 in cash! (audience cheers) An incorrect answer will bump you down to $0, and a pass is also considered incorrect. You'll have three seconds to answer each of my questions. Now, are you ready to play? (stand by for questions in PM)
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Post by palmer7 on Nov 2, 2017 10:21:04 GMT -5
(Steven gives some verbal indication) Good. Dim the lights! (the lights are dimmed) Very well. Now, remember, Steven, if you can't think of anything, just say the first thing that comes to mind. You may well be right, and a pass is just as bad as a wrong answer. Audience, I respectfully ask you to shut yo' mouf. Zol zein shah, and all that. Good luck, and your 10-in-a-Row starts.... now! 1. Peaches are more than 80% what compound? Steven: WaterYes. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 [$500] 0
2. What 5-letter word is a graphic representation of information? Steven: ChartCorrect. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 [$1,250] $500 0
3. What singer had a hit with "Party In The U.S.A."? Steven: Miley CyrusYes. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 [$2,500] $1,250 $500 0
4. What adjective is often found before the similes "as leather" & "as nails"? Steven: ToughYes. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 [$3,750] $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
5. In military slang, a "polliwog" has never crossed what geographic line while aboard ship? Steven: EquatorCorrect. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 [$5,000] $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
6. What musical features the lyrics "But no customer will go to you,/Unless she was a hooker!"? Steven: GreaseRight. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 [$7,500] $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
7. What Biblical word now means those who are hostile to the arts? Steven: PhilistineIndeed. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 $25,000 [$12,500] $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
8. Until 1918 & the collapse of the dynasty, what city was home base for the Hapsburgs? Steven: ViennaCorrect. (ding) $50,000 $37,500 [$25,000] $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
9. What name is given to the constellation between Cancer & Virgo? Steven: LeoYes. (ding) $50,000 [$37,500] $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
10. What are the 3 professions in the acronym ASCAP? Steven: Composers Authors and PublishersWin! (ding) [$50,000] $37,500 $25,000 $12,500 $7,500 $5,000 $3,750 $2,500 $1,250 $500 0
[WIN CUE](the lights come up) (cheers and applause) Way to go, Steven! You've won $50,000... (just then, Steven's friends and family pile back up on stage) And here they come again! (I make my way through the swell of people) Hello! Hello! Excuse me.... thank you. Now, Steven, you've won $50,000 here..... (Steven's "crowd" cheers) You won another $50,000 in the Fame Game.... (the "crowd" cheers even louder) I swear, this is not rehearsed, these people just came up here on their own. So that means you've picked up $100,000 in cash just in this game alone. When we add that to what you've won already, you now have a total of.... $274,008 in cash and prizes.... and you're still not done! Do you have any last words before we go?
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Post by asja2002 on Nov 2, 2017 10:40:48 GMT -5
I'm truly blessed to have everyone here for this, and I can't wait to see what happens in the final
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Post by palmer7 on Nov 3, 2017 13:59:57 GMT -5
I can't wait to find out either. We'll all be there starting tomorrow night for the two-game final. We'll also have Idina Menzel join us. Until tomorrow night, keep smiling and bye for now! (everybody waves) [CLOSING THEME, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Burton: (VO) A representative of our studio audience will receive a pool table. The Wellington model from Golden West Billiards of North Hollywood, a regulation slate table complete with a deluxe accessory package for your playing enjoyment.
And some members of our studio and IMAX-theater audiences will receive....
Andes after-dinner candies. We've all enjoyed these treats at restaurants, hotels, and airlines everywhere. Now you can enjoy them at home, anytime. Andes.
Interlude, the romantic fragrance by Frances Denney. Interlude will take you as far as you want to go.
Velamints. The only breathmint with five all-natural flavors. Try them all, for a taste so fresh and natural, it takes your breath away.
Collectables from The Morgan Mint. Quality collectables featuring classic, American coins and official Elvis Presley memorabilia, honoring The King of Rock 'n Roll. Unique gifts from The Morgan Mint.
Fire Islander sportswear, for the woman who knows fashion and demands quality.
And 12 passes to see The Post, starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep. A cover-up that spanned four U.S. Presidents pushed the country's first female newspaper publisher of The Washington Post and its hard-driving editor to join an unprecedented battle between journalist and government. In theaters December 22. From 20th Century Fox.
Plus, all of our contestants and members of our studio audience will receive a diamond stick pen from Germani Jewelers, and a copy of the all-new $ale of the Century video game for the Nintendo Switch. Furnished by THQ Nordic.
VOLKSWAGEN GROUP OF AMERICA
KINGS DAUGHTERS INN
GAYLORD TEXAN RESORT AND CONVENTION CENTER
UNITED VACATIONS
MULTI-STATE LOTTERY ASSOCIATION
EMILIANO RIO
GOLDEN WEST BILLIARDS
TOOTSIE ROLL INDUSTRIES, INC.
FRANCES DENNEY
RAGOLD, INC.
THE MORGAN MINT
FIRE ISLANDER
20TH CENTURY FOX FILM CORPORATION
THQ NORDIC AB
GERMANI JEWELLERS
Greg Palmer's Wardrobe Furnished by: RICK PALLACK SHERMAN OAKS
Stacey Wren's Wardrobe Furnished by: PERRUCHE
Additional Wardrobe Furnished by: KEITH MATHESON BLAZER THE GREIF COMPANIES ZIMMERMANN PERRY ELLIS INTERNATIONAL
Shoes by: AQUILA FRANCO BURRONE
$ALE OF THE CENTURY GREG PALMER
Burton: (VO) All prices are Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Value and are correct at the time of recording. $ale of the Century stars Greg Palmer. This program has been edited for broadcast. This is Burton Richardson speaking.
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Post by palmer7 on Nov 3, 2017 15:17:04 GMT -5
["IMAX Experience"] (a bell rings) Mario: (VO, over intercom) And we're clear. Dinner break. Greg: OK, dinner break. (I turn to Steven and his crowd) Now, guys, we've rented out the Fox Studio Commissary for dinner tonight. As much as I'd love to hang out with you guys, "the fellas at the freakin' FCC" won't let me. Government regulations, you know. So, there's that. After the tourney's over, we can hang out, but right now.... uh, no. What's on the menu? (off-camera chatter) Chicken empanadas, caramelized plantains, Cuban chicken, vaca fritas, black beans, rice, chimichurri sauce, and flan!? Eugh! (I stick out my tongue and point to it) The rest of it sounds good, but flan?! Oh well. Good seeing you all. (And we see more behind-the-scenes stuff. I run into Seth MacFarlane. Or rather, Seth runs into me.) Seth: Oh, hey, Greg. Greg: Huh? Seth MacFarlane? Awesome! What's up? Seth: Well, I know you're new to the studio, so I didn't think you'd know. Greg: Know what? Seth: We're holding a charity picnic and auction this Saturday. Greg: A picnic and an auction? Interesting. (Seth nods.) Seth: Yeah, we open up the studio to the public, offer $200 kissing booths, ya know, $50 to dunk me, that sorta thing. Then, we have an auction. All the money goes to charity. Greg: Nice. Tell me more.
[“20th Century Fox Charity Picnic and Auction” Originally Written as “Volunteer Fireman Picnic” from Take Me Along by Bob Merrill New Lyrics by Greg Palmer Performed by Greg Palmer, Seth MacFarlane, Mike Henry, Mila Kunis, Lacey Chabert, Burton Richardson, Jay Leno and various other 20th Century Fox stars (Craig Robinson, Minnie Driver, Jamie Farr, Micah Fowler, Ed O'Neill, Sofía Vergara, Seth Green, Alex Borstein, Michaela Conlin, T. J. Thyne, Taraji P. Henson, Grace Byers, Kaitlin Doubleday, Ta'Rhonda Jones, Gabourey Sidibe, Serayah, and Bre-Z) Arrangement and Orchestration by Walter Murphy Music Video Directed by Stephen Low & Seth MacFarlane] Just then, the two of them are transported to the 20th Century Fox Charity Picnic and Auction, where Seth and Mike Henry are in early-20th century costumes, a la the Broadway musical Take Me Along. The familiar tune of “Volunteer Fireman Picnic” starts up.
Seth/Mike: It's a grand, American custom Dating back to God knows when
Seth: And it gives the actors here a chance to know their fellow men
Mike: And it lets a guy of 50 carry on like he was 10
Seth/Mike: With raccoons and opossums Bears, coyotes, and foxes And some people with a lot of cash to burn
It looks like a professional carnival, with Jamie Farr acting as a carny for a water gun game. He rambles, “Step right up, folks! There's a winner every time, and all the money goes to a good cause.” Greg stops and looks surprised. “Jamie Farr?” he asks. “Oh, wait a second, I know you. You're that guy on Sale of the Century. Great show.” “Thanks.”
Mike: Now it's wholesome and it's moral, It's a lot of fun, you see
Seth: And all the profits that we get go straight to charity
Mike: We send kids like Micah Fowler to physical therapy
Micah looks offended at that last line. Seth quickly responds, “he said 'like' you.” “Oh, all right then,” Micah answers in his natural voice. The song resumes as we look at Minnie Driver running an organic lemonade stand ($25 a glass), and the female cast of Empire hosting kissing booths.
Seth/Mike: With our friend Minnie Driver The ladies of Empire And some people with a liberal point of view
We shift to a table with Stacey Wren looking at some antique dice. The sellers are Lacey Chabert and Mila Kunis.
Mila: You can shake 'em if you promise not to break 'em After all, they're the only pair she's got.
Lacey: My grandpa was a Mississippi gambler, Until he got shot
Craig Robinson fires a starter's pistol in the air.
Men: (VO) BANG!
Lacey: So you can shake 'em if you promise not to break 'em After all, they're the only pair I've got.
Meanwhile, we discover why Craig fired the starter's pistol. It's time for the three-legged races. Ed O'Neill and Sofía Vergara are tied for the lead with Seth Green and Alex Borstein. Seth G. and Alex trip Ed and Sofia, allowing Michaela Conlin and T. J. Thyne to take the lead and win. T hen, lunch is served. Seth chugs down a few mojitos.
Seth: And when catering brings the food out, it's a joy, oh what a sight
Mike: Every item that you see is a culinary delight
Seth: But if you take three servings of dessert, you're gonna start a fight
Seth/Mike: With some five-bean burritos
Seth (as Peter Griffin): A couple-a mojitos
Greg: And Seth MacFarlane's very liberal point of view
And now we come to an unexpected part of the proceedings, the political bashing. Seth tells his first “joke” as Brian: “A Conservative found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, 'I will grant you one wish.' He said, 'I wish I were smarter'. So the genie made him a Liberal.” Some of the audience ohhhs. Greg comes up with one of his own: “How do you confuse a Liberal? You don't. They're born that way.” More ooohs from the audience. Seth downs another drink and tells another joke as Stewie: “What's the difference between a Republican a$$-kisser and a brown-noser? Depth perception.” Greg is next: “Why did God create Democrats?” Seth answers as Peter: “I dunno, why did God create Democrats?” Greg: “In order to make used car salesmen look good.” And the two of them start getting in a fight. Tim Allen comes to support Greg, while Mike gets in a brawl on Seth's side.
About an hour later, both men have bandages on their heads. It's auction time, and acting as auctioneer is our own Burton Richardson.
Burton: (spoken) Here's our next lot up for bids, I know you'll all want to see them
It's Keira Knightly's soccer cleats from the movie Bend it Like Beckham.
Mike: It's Keira Knightly's soccer cleats from the film Bend it Like Beckham.
Seth: Plus the home video distribution rights to M-G-M!
Mike/Seth: With some scripts and movie props, Two thousand pounds of eye drops,
Seth: And Jay Leno's Lamborghini Miura
Next up is Jay Leno. He channels his inner Professor Harold Hill while showing off the car.
Jay: You can rent it if you promise not to dent it, After all, it's the only one I've got I lock this baby up in cold storage When it gets too hot So, you can rent it if you promise not to dent it, After all, it's worth much more than you've got
Some time later, the auction is over, and it's time for the afterparty.
Seth/Mike/Jay: Now we stars have been most generous, Forgive us if we brag
Seth: But some missioner in China's gonna get a Christian flag
Greg: And some naked Zulu lady will receive a Gucci bag!?!
Seth shrugs. The stars of 20th Century Fox Television gather around for the final chorus, creating a big finale for an 11-o'clock number.
Ensemble: From raccoons and opossums Bears, coyotes, and foxes And some people, with, a, lot, of, cash, to, BURN!
(Cut back to the commissary.) Greg: Well, thanks, Seth. I'll consider it. Seth: OK. See you then. (the two wave, and he leaves)
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