This episode contains some flashing lights, strong language and other things.
NARRATOR: Somewhere in New York City, 30 minutes before showtime...
(We're in the ABC Television Centre, where it was used to be home to "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" from its premiere in 1999 until 2014)
ME: (I knock at Lily's dressing room) Oh, Lily. The moment has come, it's surprise time. (I swivel the chair) Lily? Lily? (Suddenly, Lily's laptop turns on as I see someone's face on it)
Kidnapper: (Speaking like Doctor Trombones) Bwahahaha! Looking for someone, Mister Roman & Rodriguez?
ME: Who are you and what do you want from me?
Kidnapper: My identity is secret (So that's why it looks like one of the Martians from the 1996 film "Mars Attacks!") and I'm gonna make sure that Mario and friends won't arrive in time to your "Wheel of Misfortune".
ME: (Angry) It's "Wheel of Fortune"!
Kidnapper: Whatever, that's because a young lady told me.
Lily: (Screaming off-screen) SERGIO!
ME: Lily! What have you done to her?
Kidnapper: Nothing, tattletale.
ME: You're a liar! And I'm not a tattletale. Something you've done to her!
Kidnapper: (Horsing around) You'll never find out.
ME: (Serious) You better I won't, because soon or later I will get more information!
Kidnapper: This proves you're the worst host of "Wheel Of Fortune" ever!
Lily: (Screaming off-screen) Sergio! Help! That's not true!
ME: Don't worry, Lily. I'm coming for you. (The screen gets off) I don't know what I'm gonna do without Lily...(But I've got an idea: I've picked my phone, beeped some numbers and you will know what happens).
Vanna White: Hello?
ME: Oh, Ah, Eh-Oh, I mean, Hi. Can I speak to Pat Sajak?
Vanna White: Mr Roman, It's me, Vanna.
ME: Oh, wow. Hi, Vanna.
Vanna White: So, what's up?
ME: Vanna, I'm going to need your help from you and Pat. In less than 15 minutes I will start a special episode of my version of America's Game, but my partner Lily Collins was kidnapped by someone who accused me of been the worst host of "Wheel Of Fortune" ever.
Vanna: Ok, I'll leave it to Pat. Pat, here's Sergio from his version of "Wheel Of Fortune"
Pat Sajak: Thanks, Vanna. Sergio, here's some notes: That stranger is such Pinocchio, because he always stands up with a bunch of lies, and if for some reason we won't be here, Sergio & Lily would be our perfect replacements, something which the kidnapper considers as a scandal and I'm not agree with that.
ME: Thank you, Pat. But how did you've knew about Lily's kidnapper?
Pat Sajak: I know that he has a secret identity, he speaks like the evil Dr. Trombones, he doesn't want to reveal why he kidnaps. However, he's totally crazy, he also steals things, carries weird stuff and calls everybody as the worst in every way.
ME: Wow. Didn't...knew...that!
Pat Sajak: Exactly. Well, I have to leave you it's almost showtime for you. We will be here soon or later. Goodbye.
ME: Ok, goodbye. (I hang up) Well, it's time to start and I wonder who's going to replace Lily... I'm a bit worried.
(Cut to the "RomnSerg's Wheel Of Fortune" set, where Mario and friends are edging closer of been late to the taping of their appreciation episode)
MARIO: Oh, we hope we aren't too late.
LUIGI: Let's-a-go!
(Mario Crew runs to the door until a few security guards stops them, their names are Gordon and Charles)
Guard Gordon: Hold on, Mario and company. I need your IDs, if you please.
MARIO: OK, hold on a second.
LUIGI: Fellas, we're here because we have a special episode.
PEACH: Of "RomnSerg's Wheel Of Fortune".
Guard Charles: Sorry, but you might not be on the list.
YOSHI: Yoshi! Yoshi! Yoshi! (But it's a very Special Celebrity Episode!)
TOAD: Yeah, and Sergio and Lily said that we're going on the road.
DAISY: Don't you guys watch "RomnSerg's Wheel Of Fortune"?
Both guards: Nope.
Guard Gordon: We don't have much time for that.
Guard Charles: But we still prefer Pat Sajak and Vanna White.
TOADETTE: You know what? Pat & Vanna themselves declared that Sergio and Lily would be their replacements if both retire from "America's Game".
Guard Gordon: WHAT!? You mean...Pat and Vanna have FUTURE heirs???
Guard Charles: (Gets on walkie-talkie) OK, I'll tell him. Hey, Gordon. Turn the radio on.
Guard Gordon: What for, Charles?
Guard Charles: Just turn it on!
Guard Gordon: OK, I'll do it (He turns the radio on)
Radio Anchorperson: We've got Breaking News: The actress, model and writer Lily Collins was kidnapped by a certain strange creature in an unknow place in New York.
PEACH: Oh, no. Poor Lily.
DAISY: I hope she's OK.
Radio Anchorperson: The kidnap happened 15 minutes ago, when Lily was preparing herself for a special episode of "RomnSerg's Wheel Of Fortune".
TOADETTE: Who could do such a thing?
ROSALINA: I don't know.
Radio Anchorperson: We don't know the kidnapper's real identity, but we know it looks like one of the martians from the 1996 film "Mars Attacks!"
MARIO: Can't be Bowser Senior because he's oversized.
LUIGI: And the martians from "Mars Attacks!" are thin.
MARIO: Sergio is really worried about Lily. Let's call Sergio and come to rescue Lily (Phone rang)
ME: (Phone) Eh-Oh. Sergio speaking.
MARIO: Hi, Sergio. Have you seen it?
ME: Yep. Lily's been kidnapped.
MARIO: Unfortunately, you're right. We must rescue her and quick!
ME: Mario. I don't want to let down anyone the audience from New York and of course from across the country, but someone has give them the bad news and there's some guest stars up there to take over.
MARIO: Well, I guess we have work to do and we hope we arrive in time.
ME: OK. See you then. Bye-Bye (I hang up).
MARIO: It's time to save Lily from that ugly creature. Who's with me?
PEACH: I guess the boys are gonna do it.
DAISY: While Peach, Toadette, Rosalina and I will help Sergio. OK?
LUIGI: I guess it's a deal...
ME: No, it isn't. The girls are coming with us and we have some replacements in the studio.
MARIO: My friends, we're going to work together because we have a celebrity in need.
ME: And we won't return until Lily's safe. Now let's move out!
Jim Thornton: From New York City, it's time for a Surprise Episode of America's Game. Here's the "Super Mario" Appreciation Episode of RomnSerg's...
Audience: Wheel!!! Of!!! Fortune!!!!!!!
Jim Thornton:...And now, let's hear it for our stars: Pat Sajak and Vanna White!
(Wild cheers and applause as Pat wearing in a black tuxedo and Vanna wearing a formal dress appeared and they strike Bruce Forsyth's "Thinker" pose) (Then, they walk out to stage with a huge applause)Pat Sajak: Thank you very much, Jim Thornton. Hello! And welcome to "RomnSerg's Wheel Of Fortune". Normally, we have Sergio Roman and Lily Collins here. However, they're not here. Because, something terrible has happened!
Vanna White: Lily Collins has been kidnapped by a stranger creature!
(Audience screams) And Sergio Roman is going to rescue her with the help of the Mario Crew. So that's why we're taking over him. We don't know when they will come back, who kidnapped Lily and where is Sergio going. But I suspect, that happened here in New York, before the show began and one of these bad guys did it! The kidnapper identity is secret, however we know how it looks like:
(Audience laughs)Pat Sajak: I don't know what's so funny. (Screaming) WHERE'S LILY?
Kidnapper's henchman number 01: What?
Vanna White: (Screaming) WHERE'S LILY?
Kidnapper's henchman number 02: What?
BOWSER SENIOR: (Off-screen) I've been informed from this. They're asking where's Lily Collins. But it seems that they don't want to tell them. They're the kidnapper's henchmen.
Pat Sajak: Thank you, Bowser Senior. Well, as Jim said we have a "Super Mario" Appreciation Episode, with the recent launch of "New Super Mario Bros U. Deluxe" for Nintendo Switch which it sold slightly better than it's Wii U predecessor
(Audience cheers and applause) So tonight, this is a very different and very special edition of Wheel, where we are going to devoting this show to the world of one of the most beloved Nintendo Characters. (Suddenly, we cut to the place where Lily is kidnapped)
Lily: Help! Somebody! Anybody!
Vanna White: Here's Lily! I see her!
Pat Sajak: Don't worry, Lily. Sergio is coming to save you!
Kidnapper's henchman number 03: That's not gonna happen! (The audience disagrees with that)
BOWSER JUNIOR: (Off-screen) Dad! What's that noise?
BOWSER SENIOR: (Off-screen) Someone kidnapped Lily Collins. But we didn't do it, because we were outside the studio, when it happened.
BOWSER JUNIOR: (Off-screen) Oops, sorry.
(Audience laughs) Vanna White: Anyway, since tonight we have a different and special surprise episode, 3 celebrities are going to help us, Mario, his friends and Sergio to save Lily and of course donate as much money as they can for their respective charities, so I want to thank each and every one of you for coming on this special occasion.
(Audience cheers and applause)
Kidnapper's henchman number 04: Charities? Disgusting! (The audience disagrees with that)
Pat Sajak: By the way, one of tonight's celebrities normally hosts his own version of America's Game. (The kidnapper's henchmen try to sabotage Pat and Vanna) Stop it, you bad' ol putty tats! The only way for Sergio to rescue Lily...One of you did it, we know and both Bowsers as well, and bring her back to the set is SOLVING EVERY SINGLE PUZZLE, all of them focused on the world of "Super Mario Bros" which throughout 33 years we've played his games at home or on our way.
Vanna White: Our contestants have to solve them, and we can finally see who did it. And Sergio will come to the rescue. We love you and also that audience which comes from New York and also across the country (The kidnapper's henchmen keep disturbing Pat and Vanna) Get outta our way, you atrocious molluscs! Well, as someone known in Great Britain called Mr Bruce Forsyth often used to say.
Pat & Vanna:
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU, TO SEE YOU...EVERYBODY IN THE STUDIO: NICE!
Pat & Vanna: (All Together) It's time to meet the stars of the show!
(Audience cheers and applause) (Vanna walks to the puzzle board, and Pat runs to the WOF podium)
Pat Sajak: Our companions for this Great Rescue Adventure are Matt Ringgenberg (
mringgenberg), Kevin Kolsen (
koopakid17) and our champion Vincent Easter (@vincenteaster). Eh-Oh, players.